The Wheel and the Butterfly: A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

This has taught me that it's in my best interest to not comb through the early chapters too much if making progress is something I want to continue to do.

What could have been a minor change ended up about two dozen more sentences and a some rather major tweaks.

Justice4243 · 2013-11-25 04:16:02

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/55/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-75-pinkie-vs-virginitychapter-47-dan-vs-science

I usually refrain from tooting my own horn, but "Skeeve science presentation" might be the greatest thing I ever dreamed up.

Justice4243 · 2013-11-27 13:25:10

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/56/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-75-pinkie-vs-virginity-chapter-48-pinkie-vs-menstrualcycles

Justice4243 · 2013-11-28 02:38:05

Things I never ever expected I'd do in my life:

Write a story about a sapient pony turned human's first menstrual cycle.

Bonus one: Said pony turned human would sing a song about it.

Bonus two: People would tell me what a great job I did.

Ain't life grand?

Justice4243 · 2013-11-30 13:24:49

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/57/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-75-pinkie-vs-virginitychapter-49-pinkie-dan-vs-romance

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 15:26:18

Revised chapter 1 slightly.

It's interesting that after the first great correction deluge (thanks Bee!) it wasn't actually that far off from what I thought an improved version would look like.

Mostly it's the action I wanted to revise, but I only tweaked the dialogue slightly.

Tachyon · 2013-12-01 15:29:48

if i don't like Dan X Pinkie Pie, will i hate this?

i've liked your writing in the past, but that's what's put me off reading this so far...

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 16:18:04

The beginning has pretty much no real attempt at shipping them...

And by beginning, I guess I mean the first 50,000 words or more.

It's pretty ship heavy now, but that's specifically because the current ark (which is an epilogue away from concluding) deals specifically with their relationship.

One of my favorite things about pairing Dan and Pinkie up is the chaos they leave in their wake, and that's probably never going to change. So, the next part will be business as usual, mostly.

I know I have at least one reader who has stuck with it just to see what kind of shenanigans the two get into.

So, you probably would enjoy it. Aside from the occasional correction, pretty much no one really criticizes it anymore except for the exceedengly rare 'dislike' without any comment.

I think the last criticism I got was that I ship teased to the point were I was riling up my readers (of course, this was sort of intentional. :P ). Though, I've had others tell me they thought my relationship pacing was fine.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 16:20:32

Note that I often get told that the characters are written so well that people tend to have no trouble reading their lines in their actual voices.

It's an aspect of the writing I'm particular proud of. ^_^

Bee · 2013-12-01 19:38:56

The characterization and weird shit is your strongest point for sure. You have a better sense of that than most of the more technically proficient writers I've seen.

Though you have been getting kinda bad lately about tense shifts, and you could do with cutting down on the costume porn.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 19:54:44

I caught myself changing tenses a few times last several chapters and tried to fix it.

I think I have a tendency to start doing it if I'm describing an action sequence. Somehow it gets me writing in present tense.

Not quite sure what you mean by "costume porn". If you mean describing Pinkie's outfits with too much detail, I'm attempting to alleviate that a bit.

If you mean trying to describe "sexy times" in a way to keep it from getting explicit, than that will largely go away as I move on from this next section.

Though, I was surprised and pleased to get pretty positive responses for part 7.5 giving it's subject matter (which was made worse after a reader insisted I cover a topic I originally touched on a throw away line).

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 20:05:43

Alright, I have looked it up and am guessing you're describing the trope, which would be the former. :P

It's likely another thing that will largely just go away as I move away from this part, finally.

Bee · 2013-12-01 21:06:31

Mostly I mean re-describing her outfits. Readers will kinda just expect Pinkie to be Pinkie with that sort of thing, and you don't need to give a blow-by-blow every time she changes clothes.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 21:19:23

Noted, you're the second person to bring this up to me. :P

I'll continue to work on describing them in a short sentence.

Though, I saw a piece of fan-art that's making me want to add one more to her rotation ^_^;; I'll probably have to detail it out once and then just figure out a convenient label for it.

Speaking of the end of this part...

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/58/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-75-pinkie-vs-virginityepilogue

Justice4243 · 2013-12-01 22:15:02

Watch out, Heaper's Hangout.

Google.ca is gunning for you for second most referrals. (Which I'm guessing are almost all Bee with a few thrown in from Yurran).

Justice4243 · 2013-12-02 22:21:12

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/59/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-50-dan-vs-comic-book-store

Justice4243 · 2013-12-03 00:45:08

Alright, we're beating the Canucks again by one referral.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-03 23:11:34

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/60/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-week-chapter-51-dan-vs-anime-con

Justice4243 · 2013-12-05 21:03:12

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/61/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-52-pinkie-vs-hentai

Justice4243 · 2013-12-06 22:17:53

Heh, something like three months or more since I started and I'm only now getting hits from Bing.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-07 03:26:29

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/62/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-week-chapter-53-pinkie-vs-yaoi

Justice4243 · 2013-12-08 03:25:46

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/63/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-54-dan-pinkie-vs-terrifiguy

Canada is beating us again.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-10 01:10:09

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/64/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-55-dr-jerk-party-hard-vs-terrifiguy

Justice4243 · 2013-12-12 15:53:04

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/65/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/art-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-56-terrifiguy-vs-identity

Justice4243 · 2013-12-13 22:53:22

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/66/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-57-dr-jerk-party-hard-vs-terriman

Justice4243 · 2013-12-15 04:30:55

Also, that chapter might beat out "pony's first menstrual" cycle for how completely off the wall and unexpected it all was.

At least it beat it out in the most awesome way possible.

Also, now I'm apparently making references to things I haven't even watched? I hit some sort of reference whore event horizon, or something...

Justice4243 · 2013-12-16 01:38:33

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/67/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-58-pinkie-vs-heat

Justice4243 · 2013-12-18 14:13:53

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/68/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-week-chapter-59-pinkie-vs-alcohol

Forgot to post this last night.

Viani · 2013-12-19 15:21:54

more context plz

Justice4243 · 2013-12-19 17:11:21

Viani said:
more context plz

Regarding what?

The short of it all is that this is my giant, cross-shipping MLP/Dan Vs. fan fic that I update every 1 to 3 days with a new chapter.

Or did you have something more specific in mind?

Justice4243 · 2013-12-20 21:18:13

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/69/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-60-dan-vs-vacation

Justice4243 · 2013-12-21 04:10:29

One of my favorite aspects of this story:

Dan and Pinkie take turns licking glitter and determine it's vaguely magical tasting. Through this and other flavor hints they determine a fairy has broken into their home.

Absolutely no one questions their ability to do this, because it's Dan and Pinkie.

Justice4243 · 2013-12-22 23:16:46

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/70/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-61-dan-pinkie-vs-larping

Justice4243 · 2013-12-24 16:16:43

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/71/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-62-dan-pinkie-vs-tunnels

Justice4243 · 2013-12-26 02:01:21

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/72/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga/part-8-dan-pinkie-vs-ordinary-weekchapter-63-dan-vs-fairy

The Wheel and the Butterfly: A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

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