Korenizatsiya
Friends, countrymen, comrades. I come to you on this day, of the 12th All-Union Congress, to beg for your consideration in a serious matter. We need to stop killing all the Tajiks.
What's a- are you serious? Isn't this the Congress of Nationalities? Well, whatever. They're one of the Asians. Persians. Yes there are Persians in Asia. No they're not working for the Shah.
Yes, they've had the usual problems with acclimating. People just don't like Sovietism! They don't have the education. Most of them can barely read. So when the Red Army comes down and shoots their asses, well, they go and found a resistance movement. Some guys with sticks. No, we haven't suppressed their literature- yes I know I'm supposed to- shut the fuck up. Just shut the FUCK up. OK. We haven't suppressed their literature because they don't fucking have any. CAN'T READ. THIS ISN'T HARD, GUYS, COME THE HELL ON. What? Oh. Right, this isn't hard PEOPLE.
Yes I've got stats. Our census reports that 80% of Tajiks are satisfied with the current government. I went and investigated and it seems that the census takers were drinking 160-proof vodka and got a bit confused. However, the imperial fucking anarchists at the PPP have conducted their own poll. They found that 68.3% plus or minus 3% of Tajiks were satisfied with Sovietism. Unfortunately they also found that 70%, presumably with some overlap, thought of Russians as "bitch-ass honkies". No I don't know what that means. Yes we should have had our own polls but YOU FUCKING SLASHED MY BUDGET. Fuck. Why do we even have a budget? We're fucking Communists.
Anyway. So we've been killing them. And relocating. It hasn't really worked. Tajikistan is where we put all the uh, Germans, and Tatars, and - yeah back in the Great War, but later too - the point is it's kind of a shithole. Just, I mean, whoa. Not because of us! No. It's just rural. Mountainous. When I took a trip down there last month to see what was happening somebody threw a spear at my window. Stone-tipped. It didn't actually work, no. I think it was some college kid, they can't throw for shit anyway. But- wait. What was I talking about? Spears? Fuck. Look, just, fuck. Keep garrisoning the border people, who fucking cares about that, nobody's going to walk from... uh, I don't have a map. China? I guess it borders China. Not Hong Kong, the, the shitty parts. Yeah. No chicken.
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The sun is a mass of incandescent gas. A giant nuclear furnace.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead