Justice Liveblogs Equestria Girls and whatever he's drinking at the moment

Justice4243

Edit: If you're a fan of the show, do yourself a favor and watch this before my massive spoilers. I know it's a little slow in the middle, but holy fuck, the climax. Just...holy fuck.

So, I decided to give this a shot.

Also, I decided to watch Equestria Girls.

Equestria Girls, as you may know, is the high concept off-shoot movie to the popular show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The movie combines two things everyone loves, magical, talking, colorful ponies, and high-school girls. Finally, people can masturbate freely to  their favorite canon character without fearing they're a closet furry. 

Though, this movie has its share of of controversy. Many fans viewed it as a shameless attempt at merchandising, which is sort of what the show was to begin with, though it's undeniable the high-school setting and cookie cutter body types do seem to indicate this movie drifts a little closer to the status quo of girls' cartoons. Not to mention many key writers from FiM where pulled to work on this movie and the third season was shortened, making for a season that was weak in some places, and rage inducing in others.

STILL! I think it's best to go through life with an open mind and an open container, so join me in a bit tonight when I can settle in for a solid hour of cartoon horses turned human and also drinking. 

glennmagusharvey

> So, I decided to give this a shot.

A shot of what?

Justice4243

So while I wait on doing father things. As mentioned, I decided to make a shot.

Taking a page out of the numerous Pony cocktails out there, I decided to adapt a couple into a Twilight Sparkle shot in honor of the magical journey she was going to take.

BEFORE I watch however, Friday and I are going to do a few games of Magic.

So, definitely a Magic evening planned.

Justice4243

Edit: If you're a fan of the show, do yourself a favor and watch this before my massive spoilers. I know it's a little slow in the middle, but holy fuck, the climax. Just...holy fuck.

I forgot to mention, the shot was Creme de cassis with blue raspberry vodka and a little bit of absinthe on the top.

The licorice taste was finished with the berry sweetness, very nice.

Justice4243

So, I've heard good things about Baileys and Soy Milk. Will let the smooth taste of that ease us into some Cartoon Horses.

Justice4243

Twilight gets a Princess summit. 

She's getting used to being a princess, and flying,

Also, Pinkie made an actual Transformation from Transformers noise...good times. 

Drink is super sweet, but good. Soy milk cuts into the sweetness of the Baileys a bit. It's nice.

Justice4243

Intro has gone all Techno/pop on me.

Kinda reminds me of the treatmentthe  Mission Impossible and James Bound themes got in the 90s.

Justice4243

Some dastardly pony has crown swapped Twilight (crown is also her Element of Harmony)! But she didn't quite get away with it. At least, not without the ponies noticing. 

This former student went all dark side and fled through a magic mirror artifact to an alternative world. 

It's up to Twilight to get it back. The other Ponies don't get to go because of some plot convenient balance of the plents bull-crap. Completely undermining the whole Friendship overcoming stuff.

On the plus side, Spike rushed in. So, yes...he's a dog. But also, he's the only other cast member to actually make it.

He also talks still. Anther plus.

Justice4243

Twilight is learning about being human via musical montage. Also, she's noticed many of the characters seem to be human! versions of the ponies.

Onto a goblet of Brother Thelonious. One of the best Belgian style abbey ales I've ever had. The bar is pretty low given most I've had sucked, but this is very good.

Celestia is Principle (called it), Luna is vice-Principle (also called it).

Twilight stands up to Sunset Shimmer on behalf of Human!Fluttershy. 

Justice4243

Also cliques! 

And Sunset Shimmer is some sort of bullshit ruler of the students because...she makes people's life unpleasant if they don't listen to her.

Justice4243

Also Twilight apparently is indeed inhabiting the body of some kid that lives in the city. 

Sunset Shimmer has managed to wrangle such wonderful help like...Snips...and Snails...

Yep, totally has the school at it's mercy with toadies like that...

Justice4243

Unlikely ruler-ship of a high school body aside, this isn't bad.

Apparently Snips and Snails blackmail people by finding things out about them.

Also, Trixie cameo! Yay!

Justice4243

Snips and Snails got lots of photos of Twilight being a goofball and not being good with computers. 

Rarity attempts to disguise, but Apple Jack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all come in and it becomes apparent these once great friends are not friends at the moment.

 

Justice4243

Twilight figured out Sunset Shimmer is the source of all lives problems and now everyone is friends again!

Justice4243

Also Twilight and the rocker dude they showed in the trailer totally want to get mad smooches on with each other.

Justice4243

The school mascot is the "Wonder Coltes" Rarity's ploy to get people also  to vote for Twilight helped her sell a bunch of mascot stuff that wasn't selling.

Shrewd.

Also Sunset Shimmer is framing Twilight Sparkle for destroying the decorations for the upcoming dance to see who gets the crown.

I suspect Photoshop may be at play.

Justice4243

...No...

They actually cut out photos of Twilight playing soccer and glued them to photos of the decorations being trashed...

Vice-principle Luna, you are a goddamn moron. 

...I think I need another drink.

Also rocker dude is back and clearly Twilight and him are going to make out in the VPs office. 

Justice4243

Luna left them alone, Twilight would stay for make-outs but the dance has been moved back a day and she freaks out.

Justice4243

Also, Twilight is going to tell her new friends she's a horse.

Justice4243

A talking dog would help...

But Pinkie knowing exactly what's going on somehow seems to work well as well.

Justice4243

Also, drinking Iron Horse brewery's Quilter's Irish Death.

 

And Twilight managed to get the school involved in helping clean up. All the cliques, all of them.

Justice4243

...OK 4th song is sorta a bit too girly...actually kinda has a Ke$ah, "Die Young" feel to it...Hell, it's probably a sound alike...

Justice4243

It's actually kinda unnerving how much rocker dude looks like a human version of Shinning Armor...

Justice4243

OMG, this beer...Soooo good.

...Also Spike got kidnapped...dognapped...whatever.

Justice4243

Snips and Snails seem pretty nonplussed by a talking dog.

Justice4243

...Yeah, dresses don't necessarily look good on these characters.

Also, GIRL FIGHT!

Justice4243

So umm... Sunset Shimmer got the crown.

She is now the fucking devil.

Snips and Snails are now demons.

Holy fuck.

Justice4243

...She just turned the student body into zombies.

Her plan is to use them as fodder to assault Equestria.

I repeat, "Holy fuck."

Justice4243

Twilight and her friends used the magic of friendship and and techno music to save the day and defeat the fucking devil. 

Hooray!

Also, all the Human!main cast just went Furry!main cast. 

So everyone gets to masturbate. 

Hooray!

Justice4243

Also she has enough time to dance to Ke$ah with her Shinning Armor look alike.

Hooray!

Justice4243

Heh, "What are hands"

Also, There's a pony alternative to Twilight's Crush. 

Wonder if he'll make it into season 4.

Justice4243

Final thoughts:

The human models are a bit off to me still, but not altogether horrible.

Music was pretty good. Could have used more comedy.

The climax took me completely by surprise and wins massive points for going all out, and it DOES help develop "Princess" Twilight nicely. 

...Human!Derpy is in the credits.

...

Totally rad, guys!

Justice4243

I think this was good overall, but suffered a bit from the Twilight focus. Not that she's bad on her own, mind you, just the other cast members tend to balance the story out. In episodes, this works fine with, in a movie you get far less of the characters. 

Hence, could have used more Pinkie. But could have used more everypony really.

Kudos to Spike actually being important. I thought he'd be her dog devoid of lines, but he actually was kinda more important than anyone besides Twilight. He makes a good "ideas" man who also counter balances Twilight's habits of being oblivious to what's going on around her.

Still find the models a little...off...and it would be nice if not every girl had the exact same body shape.

The saddest part is Snips and Snails probably got a lot more attention in and outside the movie than just about anyone. They're character design is quite the departure from the average model.

All and all, a welcome addition to the series. I'll grant that the climax got it over the finish line, but it was basically a sonic rainboom when you only had 10 meters to go.

Justice4243

Also, drinking the last of some not so great, but cheap Sangria that's taking up space in one of my wine fridges.

Justice4243

Also: Movie never mentions WHY Sunset Shimmer separated the main cast in the first place.

The movie did hint she messed with someone who ran against her in another dance, though.

I kidna guessed it was Rarity. The movie doesn't say, but at least it would make sense if it was a member of the main cast.

Justice4243

Re-watched this as it's currently Lain's favorite thing to put on the computer (she dances to all the songs!).

It's actually better on a re-watch as there's a lot of subtle things that are easy to miss first go around. The humor is actually pretty prevalent, it's just a tad more subtle with Twilight being the focus.

LeighSabio

This may be of interest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbUE2B1MXo

Justice4243

Yeah, I got as far as "This movie exists" being a "sin" and jumped ship. 

There are lots of bronies out there who think the idea of turning the cast into humans for a movie is some sort of sacrilege. I'd love to build a time machine, go back a few years, and inform all of them they're going to be obsessed with a children's T.V. show about pastel colored horses. 

Crystal

The popups said that it was a satirical video, and to my understanding "movie sin counters" are almost always both nitpicking and lacking in constructive criticism; so, they're to be ignored, which fits with the video.

Justice4243

Ah, fair enough. Maybe I'll give it another watch. It would make sense that it's lampooning the sort of hate the movie has gotten.

LeighSabio

Personally, I'd give Equestria Girls 3/5 stars. It didn't suck, but neither was it phenomenal. I felt the guy was kind of a romantic plot tumor, and the middle was kind of predictable, but the ending...wow!

Justice4243

Yeah, the ending is what sold me.

I probably would have given it 3 out of 5 on my first watch, but I think I have to bump it just because of the crazy, subtle jokes like...

Pinkie Pie's cutie mark here.

Miss Miko Mayonegg

wait why is Spike a dog ._.

Justice4243

This irked me, too, at first. 

However,

Spoiler:

it turns out Spike is the only other cast member to make it across worlds, and can talk. So despite not getting to see a Human!Spike, he's arguably the second most important character in the movie. 

Justice4243

LeighSabio said:

This may be of interest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbUE2B1MXo

I just caught part of this because of "Top Ten" video collection.

It seems needlessly pedantic and nit-picky.