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Listen, sex doesnt matter to me. I dont care about sex.

AlduinAlduin
edited 2013-08-07 10:01:28 in General

You know whats better than sex? using your mind.. then sex will come to you. I have mastered science at a very young age. Likely due to my atheism. When I was 7 my dad brought me to church and I said "dad this is stupid and fake" I was a natural born atheist. I didnt need reddit to convince me. I'm smarter than everyone on this site. I learned that science is more important. I take college level science classes and im only 13. I am basically a genius for my age group. Because of my many sciences I have met many college girls while taking classes. They are impressed by my knowledge and usually take me to college parties. I dont drink so I usually go hangout and read a book. This one time a girl brought me up to a room to show me her bed or something? and we ended up having sex. I felt her vagina in all. So a movie to describe my sex life? The Conjuring. because I conjure up pussy all day long.


    Comments

    • AlirozAliroz
      ...And even when your hope is gone
      move along, move along, just to make it through
      (2015 self)
      Lame story bro.
    • lee4hmzlee4hmz
      ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
      needs more guitars, ninjas, pirates and boners
    • MiseryMisery
      The sadness will last forever.
      conjuring
    • Imipolex GImipolex G
      Touch the cow. Do it now.
      sam harris as a kid?
    • AlduinAlduin
      Aliroz said:

      Lame story bro.

      That's not what your mom said when I conjured her pussy
    • AlirozAliroz
      ...And even when your hope is gone
      move along, move along, just to make it through
      (2015 self)
      Acererak said:

      Aliroz said:

      Lame story bro.

      That's not what your mom said when I conjured her pussy
      My mother's a reptile.
    • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
      “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
      He does not want to use the word "cloaca" because he is afraid that he will misspell it and lose his "genius" credentials... or have to admit that he has had carnal knowledge of sapient aquatic reptiles.
    • RocketRunnerRocketRunner
      "CLOACA TIME?"
    • Previous CalicaPrevious Calica
      (flower path)
      RocketRunner said:

      "CLOACA TIME?"

      let's not
    • RocketRunnerRocketRunner
      Yeah, not really.
    • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
      Whores! we want "poems that kill."
      Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
      guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
      and take their weapons leaving them dead
      Dangit, Rocket, we set Cloaca Time for 15:12 AM for a reason.
    • Imipolex GImipolex G
      Touch the cow. Do it now.
    • AlirozAliroz
      edited 2013-08-08 23:16:26
      ...And even when your hope is gone
      move along, move along, just to make it through
      (2015 self)
      Can you guys stop talking about my mother's nether regions? Verily, 'tis creepin' me the heck out (giving me the jibblies). Jibbliejibbliejiblie-a-jibblejibble-jibbilie.
    • AlduinAlduin
      Sredni Vashtar said:

      He does not want to use the word "cloaca" because he is afraid that he will misspell it and lose his "genius" credentials... or have to admit that he has had carnal knowledge of sapient aquatic reptiles.

      What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.
    • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
      Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
      "Buttmunch" is a grand word.
    • AlduinAlduin
      kingCrackers said:

      "Buttmunch" is a grand word.

      As is "doodiehead".
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