i will never get male rpg heros

Eelektross

I meane why do you constantly risk your lives for girls you JUST MET A WHILE AGO Come on dude some pootaaaaaaaang isn't worth your life

Fossilmaiden

Because not helping someone in need isn't very heroic?

Eelektross

It happens even if she's accused of being a war criminal or something I mean even if she turns out to be innocent thre's no way he's gonna know that

Ace Rimmer

Dulcinea

Eelektross

Hell this even happens with FEMALES too

lookin at you Therkla

Fossilmaiden

You are forgetting that RPG heroes have some kind of divine intuition that allows them to know when someone in danger is evil or not. Except when the plot decides otherwise.

Eelektross

You are forgetting that RPG heroes have some kind of divine intuition that allows them to know when someone in danger is evil or not.

I think the divine intuition goes by a more recognizable name

it's called "their pants"

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Eelektross

DON QUIXOTE 110/110                                                             WNDML

SANCHO PANZA 90/90

DON QUIXOTE's turn!                                 

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Ace Rimmer

Cream said:

Dulcinea

Don Quixote is the best RPG.

Actually. I was trying to say that this isn't a new thing.

Fossilmaiden

But Don Quixote was also utterly insane.

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Jumpingzombie

Now I want a Don Quixote RPG

Justice4243

Oh hey, this still exists.

It's a good thing other Tropers thought I was funny:

As he said this, he entrusted himself with all his heart to his lady Dulcinea, imploring her to help and sustain him at such a critical moment, and then, with his shield held high and his spear braced in its socket, and Rocinante at a full gallop, he charged directly at the first windmill he came to, just as a sudden swift gust of wind sent its sail swinging hard around, smashing the spear to bits and sweeping up the knight and his horse, tumbling them all battered and bruised to the ground. Sancho Panza came rushing to his aid, as fast as his donkey could run, but when he got to his master, found him unable to move, such a blow had he been given by the falling horse.

“God help me!” said Sancho. “Didn’t I tell your grace to be careful what you did, that these were just windmills, and anyone who could ignore that had to have windmills in his head?”

“Silence, Sancho, my friend, ” answered Don Quixote . “Even more than other things, war is subject to perpetual change. What’s more, I think the truth is that the same Frestón the magician, who stole away my room and my books, transformed these giants into windmills, in order to deprive me of the glory of vanquishing them, so bitter is his hatred of me. But in the end, his evil tricks will have little power against my good sword.”

“God’s will he done, ” answered Sancho Panza.

“Yes, ” said Don Quixote , rising to his feet and holding his sword far above his head. “God’s will be done!” A beam of light shot from Don Quixote ’s lance and pierced the heavens, the distant sound of thunder drew closer until it deafened the duo and drowned out all other sound. A bolt of lightning hit the nearest windmill, and at once the sounds of mechanical gears was head as the windmill begin to open and change shape into the form of a giant man, with burning red eyes, holding a pair of tilted scimitars where once there was nothing but wooden paddles.

“What manner of sorcery is this?!” Roared the giant in anger.

“It is I, Don Quixote , come to vanquish you evil giant on behalf of the powers of Heaven! Frestón’s powers cannot help you now!”

“Don Quixote , I should have known. I do not require aid from my master to deal with the likes of you!” Retorted the giant, who punctuated his sentence with a blast from the laser cannon hidden in his mouth.

Don Quixote dodged the blast by leeping strait into the air, “Rocinante! To ME!” He called.

Don Quixote ’s horse leaped into the air after his master, accompanied by a whirling electronic buzz. The horse split open and revealing circuitry, grips for Don Quixote to hold, and levers for his feet to be places. Don Quixote grasped the controls and placed his feet on the levers as the horse closed around his body, the horse's head opening to reveal a brilliantly silver knights helmet that protected Don Quixote ‘s head. A shaft of metal extended to a point and a grip became visible that Don Quixote grasped with his mechanical hand. As he grasped the weapon a bit just before the grip unfurled into a cone shape.

“With my holy lance, I will strike your heart, giant!” Don Quixote charged, and the Giant parried. But Don Quixote continued his desperate assault of thrusts against the giant, each one parried at lightning speed by the giant’s scimitars. Don Quixote gave one more mighty thrust only for the giant to parry his blow hard, knocking him to the ground.

The giant chortled smugly, “You where no match for me!”

Don Quixote smirked, “No should you really have been looking at me, or the man with the machine gun?”

“What?!” The Giant exclaimed, looking back towards Sancho who removed a large blanket covering a bulge on his Donkey’s back. Under the blanket was a large machine gun, the words “Gods Will Be Done.” Engraved on the side.

“Xote!” Sancho exclamed, “GOD’s will be done!” At once the machine gun roared to life, sending a hailstorm of bullets that wounded the giant. As he exclaimed and pain, dropping his left scimitar and reached for his wound , Don Quixote rose and stabbed the giant through his mechanical heart.

The giant stumbled and fell to his knees as his eyes grew dim and finally collapsed.

“That was some good work, your grace.” Said Sancho.

“Good work?” Don Quixote answered inquisitively, as more lightning rained down on the other windmills, beginning their transformation into giants. “No, that was just…practice.

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ProfessorGator

Crossposting from Tumblr:

Someone should try doing the Knight of the Moon as your typical anime rival.

Justice4243

 One morning as Don Quixote
went out for a stroll along the beach, arrayed in full armour (for, as he often
said, that was "his only gear, his only rest the fray," and he never
was without it for a moment), he saw coming towards him a knight, also in full
armour; with a shining moon painted on his shield; long, silver hair that was immaculate
in how well it had been kept in glistened in the morning sun and reached down
to the waist of the knight; and a curved sword scabbard that must have measured
a full eight feet .On approaching sufficiently near to be heard, the knight raised
his right hand towards his visor, the metal gauntlet not quite completely concealing
the many ornate rings on the hand of the knight. The knight lifted his visor, revealing
the knights handsome face, especially striking where the knights brilliant blue
eyes, the right one slightly framed by a crescent shaped scar; the only mark on
the knights otherwise perfect face. The knight paused to take a sip of red wine
out of his wine goblet,  he then began casually
swirling the contents as he  said in a
loud, melodic  voice, addressing himself
to Don Quixote, "Illustrious knight, and never sufficiently extolled Don
Quixote of La Mancha, I am the Knight of the White Moon, whose unheard-of
achievements will perhaps have recalled him to thy memory. I come to do battle
with thee and prove the might of thy arm, to the end that I make thee
acknowledge and confess that my lady, let her be who she may, is incomparably
fairer than thy Dulcinea del Toboso.

Eelektross

Ironically this is one of the few adaptations the actual don quixote would consider filming

PhantomThiefXI

just came here to say

Saving a girl is a man's romance

Imipolex G

I don't get this either

Eelektross

The need to get laid is strong with many.

Imipolex G

It can be done without going on an epic quest to save the world

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PhantomThiefXI

but but

AN EPIC QUEST MAKES IT ALL THE MORE FUN

YOU GUYS DON'T GET IT ;-;

PhantomThiefXI

HOW DID I EVEN DO THIS

Jumpingzombie

Imipölex G said:

It can be done without going on an epic quest to save the world

but then whats the point of saving the world?

Imipolex G

well yeah, if you're gonna save the world I guess you might as well get some lovin'

Bunny

This is why I'm not a video game hero

Because it's always save the princess, never the prince

I can't ever get me some guy lovin'

Tachyon

If the world needs saving and only an epic quest will save it then undertaking an epic quest seems like a pretty good idea.

Imipolex G

there should totally be a gay fantasy quest game

Bunny

Monster Guy Quest

I would pay cash money for that

Obā-san

Deathonabun said:

Monster Guy Quest

I would pay cash money for that

PhantomThiefXI

PLAY ORPHAN'S QUEST EVERYBODY