Trash Heap Classics: YOUR KING and his child visit Chef and Waiterman's restaurant

Princess Alice

Original air date: 1 March 2011

Anonus: YOUR KING, his child, Mr. Exposition, Fire Alarm

Central Avenue: Waiterman, Chef, RobTheFirefighter

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<YOUR_KING> I SAY, I AM QUITE HUNGRY AND DON'T FEEL LIKE MAKING A MEAL

<YOUR_KING> LET'S GO TO THAT FIVE SINGERS PLACE

<his_child> i don't know father

<his_child> that's in ohio

<his_child> far away

<YOUR_KING> NONSENSE CHILD

<YOUR_KING> WE CAN GO ANYWHERE ANYTIME

<MrExposition> THIRTY-NINE HOURS LATER

<YOUR_KING> WE ARE FINALLY HERE

<Waiterman> may i seat you sir

<Waiterman> and your daugther ig uess

<YOUR_KING> YES WAITER

<Waiterman> here's your menu

<Waiterman> it's prindted in ITC Garamond

<Waiterman> what would you like to drink tongith?

<YOUR_KING> WHAT IS THAT WAITER

<YOUR_KING> I WANT LOTS OF MOUNTAIN DEW

<Waiterman> i don't know if we have mountain dw

<Waiterman> i'll go ask

<his_child> and i would like orange juice

<his_child> or water

* Waiterman goes to kitchen

<his_child> father this place unsettles me

<Chef> Waiterman! what's taking so long witha tath order!

<YOUR_KING> YEAH WELL YOU'RE A WIMP CHILD

<Waiterman> well

<Waiterman> they want mountain dw

<his_child> no i'm not

<Chef> we don't have mountain dew

<his_child> these guys creep me out

<his_child> they high

<Chef> but they can have iced tea

<Chef> with diet cola in it

<YOUR_KING> FUCK NO

<YOUR_KING> I HATE TEA

<Waiterman> what the hell howd you get in the kitchen

<Waiterman> oh right, theres no wall between the kitchen

<Waiterman> and the dining room

<YOUR_KING> I AM YOUR KING

<YOUR_KING> THAT'S HOW

<Waiterman> whatever

<Waiterman> may i take your order

<YOUR_KING> I WANT THE SUPER PANCAKE SUPREME SURPRISE

<Waiterman> sorry sir

<Waiterman> we don't serve breakfast after 11 am

<Waiterman> and it's now 1030 at night

<Chef> why are we still open even

<his_child> i just want a fish sandwich

<his_child> no mayo

<Chef> one fish sandwich, comin' up!

<Chef> how fresh do you want that, miss?

<his_child> fresh enough that it doesn't kill me

<his_child> or that it isn't alive

<Chef> damn, that means i'll have to cook

<Chef> instead of just pulling out last year's fish

<YOUR_KING> YOU DAMN WELL BETTER COOK MORON

<Chef> cooking is for poor people

<Chef> I'm a chef, dammit!

<YOUR_KING> CHEFS COOK SIMPLETON

<Waiterman> chef, you shouldn't swear in fron to the csutomers.

<his_child> father please don't be so rude to the staff, bad enough they're probably on something

<Waiterman> it's not every professional

<YOUR_KING> BUT CHILD, THEY ARE INSOLENT

<Chef> yeah, well neaither is talking with a whole bunch o typoes.

<YOUR_KING> AND MUST LEARN THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS

<Waiterman> Pot, kettle black, much cehf?

<Chef> Well, the fish sandwich is ready

<Chef> but i forget which table it goes to.

<his_child> thank god

<his_child> right here

<Waiterman> but they'res only one table with people at it

<Waiterman> because it's 1030 at night

<Waiterman> finally brings out the sandwich

<YOUR_KING> NOT JUST ANY PEOPLE WAITER

<Waiterman> hey, mr king guy

<his_child> thank you

<Waiterman> did you ever decide on something non-breakfast

<Waiterman> to eat i mean

<YOUR_KING> PANCAKES OR NUFFIN'

<YOUR_KING> OH HOLD ON

<YOUR_KING> THE CHICKEN ORGASM AVALANCHE

<Chef> Won't work.

<Chef> We're out of chickent

<Chef> And i'd have to go to CA Marketplace to get more

<YOUR_KING> WELL GO BUY SOME YOU NUMBSKULLS

<YOUR_KING> IT'S NEXT FUCKING DOOR

<Waiterman> Can't you just ordre someting else

<Waiterman> asshole

<YOUR_KING> OH ALRIGHT FINE

<Chef> Don't talk to the custorms ilie that , watiehr man!

<YOUR_KING> THE CHEESEBURGER, NO PICKLES

<Chef> One chesserburger comin' up!

<YOUR_KING> DAMN WELL BETTER BE, THIS HAS BEEN A HORRENDOUS VISIT

* Chef hands YOUR KING a raw burger on a bun with chese

<YOUR_KING> WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

<Waitherman> Now chef...

<Waitherman> you can't do that

<Waitherman> the Cuyahoga County Healpth Department will shut us down.

<Chef> Very well.

<YOUR_KING> YEAH, I'M CALLING THEM RIGHT NOW

* Chef reluctantly cooks burger.

<YOUR_KING> LEMME GET A QUARTER

<YOUR_KING> OK HOLDING OFF

<Chef> aw shit, the burger's on fire

<Chef> i cooked it too long

<Chef> and with too much motor oil

<his_child> you know i'm tempted to just leave

<YOUR_KING> I DID NOT ASK FOR MOTOR OIL

<Chef> chokes on smokek

<Waiterman> I'm claling 911.

* Fire_Alarm goes off like a banshee

<YOUR_KING> THAT'S IT, WE ARE NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN

* RobTheFirefighter HEROICALLY extinguishes fire

<his_child> ugh, finally, we are leaving

<Chef> Wait! here's your burger!

<his_child> so father that was the worst thing ever was it not

<Chef> *whimper* come back...

<Waitherman> It's ok, Chef. Let it go...

* Chef cries softly

<YOUR_KING> IT SURE WAS CHILD

<YOUR_KING> NOW LET'S JUST GO TO TACO BELL, WHERE THEY HIRE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T STONED OUT OF THEIR MINDS

* CA takes bow

* Anonus also bows

<Anonus> I want to find a transcript of this.

<CA> I'll make one.

Tre

the funny thing is if you look up YKaHC or Amazon.com and the Insufferable Jackass both come up first

Salix Babylonika

I'm claling 911

Justice4243

It's fun to reread this and relize that chef is so bad that you don't mind that YOUR KING is screaming at him.

Salix Babylonika

I wonder if YOUR KING ever met The King.

ProfessorGator

Who do you mean by that? The first thing that came to mind when you said "The King" was King Harkinian from the Zelda CD-i games, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't someone else.

Salix Babylonika

That is indeed what I meant.

Imipolex G

I thought Elvis was The King.

Imipolex G

Or maybe it was the Burger King.

lee4hmz

Or The King of Town, perhaps.

Imipolex G

Or King Diamond.

Tre

or Billie Jean King?

Imipolex G

Or Martin Luther King.

Jr.

ProfessorGator

Or the King of Red Lions.

(How long can we keep this up, I wonder?)

Obā-san

Or Kingdra

Imipolex G

Or King Kong!

Obā-san

Or King Crimson

Tre

or the King of Limbs!

Imipolex G

Or King Lear

or King Dedede

or King King

Tre

or King