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ITT: Typos are true

Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
edited 2012-07-10 17:10:29 in Roleplay & Games
In this thread, write a sentence where one word is typoed into a different word. The next person imagines the implications of it being literally true, then posts a sentence of their own. I'll start:

"Henry VIII's first wife was Catherine of Aragorn."

Comments

  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    They speak Catalan in Middle Earth.

    "I think the song is 'White Lines', by Grandmaster Flesh."
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Hip hop is surprisingly popular among ghouls.

    "The capital of Louisiana is Baton Rogue."
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    It was named after a French settler was hit in the face with a stick there.

    "Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Crist..."
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    The 44th Governor of Florida, Crist, really seems to have done a good job.

    "He is holy aware of his mistake."
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Holy Awareness is a mental discipline that uses drugs to make you feel like God.

    "I did not know that I had ascended to the got tiger."
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    edited 2012-07-10 20:10:05
    "Got Tiger" was the first, failed advertising campaign by the milk industry.

    "I am fully against youth in Asia as a way to end a sick person's life."
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    edited 2012-07-10 20:13:38
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    ^^Of course you did! Everybody knows they keep the got tiger on the top floor

    ^ I mean, dealing with the overpopulation in China is important, but sending gun-wielding tweens to hospitals is just ridiculous

    "Four scone and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    I had four scones, but my aunt ate three of them.

    "He is a fodder to his men."
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    edited 2012-07-10 20:21:39
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    The war was known as a particularly glorious time for Expendable Lad

    Two Four Six Ate, Who Do We Appreciate
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Cannibals, Cannibals, Rah Rah Rah!

    "The Egyptian creator gob, Ptah."
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    Gob was a funny character on Arrested Development.

    "Something wicker this way comes."
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    Wicker Golem was not one of the best-received monsters in the new D&D manual

    "My favorite shop when I was younger was Gilligan's Island"
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    edited 2012-07-10 20:34:04
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    They sold some pretty weird things there, didn't they? I never knew you could make a working helicopter out of bamboo and palm leaves.

    "Waves suitable for serfing are found primarily in the ocean, but are also sometimes found in lakes and rivers, and also in manmade wave pools."
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    Serfs did not have it very well during the Middles ages or any age really.

    "She raptured her spine three weeks ago."
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    It's going to be hard to live through the Tribulation when you're spineless.

    "She's always dressed causally."
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Without her panties, her camisole could not exist.

    "The pills are alive with the sound of music!"
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    edited 2012-07-10 21:14:18
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    It's a new type of cold and fever medication designed to soothe you to sleep with calming tunes as the drug does its work!

    "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secretions"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    What cruel villain would hide the Macguffin in the sewers?

    "They've been together through the highs and the Lois."
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    And then, Superman's cuckolds were hit with heat vision.

    "Harry Potter and the Goblin of Fire"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    Hogwarts has such a terrible fire code.

    "Flea ice cream cone to the 500th customer."
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    The mom-and-pop shop was experimenting quite a bit with unusual flavors.

    "Call now, and I'm going to trow in a second one, absolutely free!"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    You can put your Snuggy on it and pretend you're on a real ship!

    "Baby, please don't beak my heart"
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    The last known words of the first victim of BEAK BABY! MORE AT 11!

    "I would like to apply for a john in the women's lingerie department"
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    edited 2012-07-11 02:46:56
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    I didn't know prostitution in this town was based there. Seems counter-productive.

    "Hark, the herald angles sing!"
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    "Glory to the cosine king!"

    "Peas on Earth, and mercy mild..."
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "Wise words from the departing: Eat your greens, especially broccoli."

    "This is the Sound of Young Armorica on NPR!"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    Young Gauls were very noisy back in the day.

    "For our next test, we're going to try the sink blot test."
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    The sink-staining test is an easy one to pass.

    "Henry VIII's second wife was Anne bowlin'."
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Henry sure had lots of balls to marry so many wives.

    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep bear Arms shall not be infringed."
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    The condition of the people, being in an unfree state, would be unbearable.

    "His ants are so low that you can see his boxers."
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    edited 2012-07-11 22:31:34
    Harry should have thought twice about buying the cloth eating ants.

    "You final test will be a metaphorical trial by fir."
  • EelektrossEelektross
    Your final exam requires you to write an essay about your life and how a fir tree relates to it.

    "To er is human, to forgive divine."
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    Speech impediments are a core of human society, and forgiving people with them makes you a god.

    "One, two! One, two! and through and through

    The vorpal glade went snicker-snack!"
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    Even Lewis Carroll thought the Jobberwock getting defeated by a clearing was too silly and revised his poem to include a sword instead.

    "Oh Mister Sandman, bring me a beam, may he be the cutest I've ever seen."
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