"Waffles" are too silly sounding to be nutritious

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 01:29:52

A new study released by Cambridge has shown that foods with silly sounding names will be detrimental to your health and will most certainly caused you to die. By the age of 1 and 1/2 most doctors will say that you should be eating serious foods like squash and beet greens (actual beets may be dangerous. Things that are red may lead to rampant cannibalism) None of this banana nonsense. Plus it looks like a penis. Your child may grow up to be a sex addict.

Anonus · 2012-05-31 01:31:22

what all did Shippingzombie eat when she was a young girl, I wonder.

Yarrun XIX · 2012-05-31 01:32:51

A constant stream of Freudian symbology.

Stuff tastes like whatsit.

Spacey · 2012-05-31 01:33:30

so you're allowed to eat flattened batter cakes, but not flapjacks

Tre · 2012-05-31 01:35:11

-insert reference to that song I wrote about waffles here-

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 01:36:34

^^^^Probably anything remotely phallic; bananas, cheetos, pickles, cucumbers, squash.

(Though, she might have been secretly eating cantaloupe halves. I can't be sure though)

"so you're allowed to eat flattened batter cakes, but not flapjacks"

God no, what are you thinking?????

Princess Alice · 2012-05-31 01:41:04

Where do kumquats fall into all this?

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 01:42:42

CA: Looking at one will caused immediate blindness. Eating one will most likely create a a sudden urge to mate so strong that you will quickly die. Verdict: Fatal and disgustingly perverted.

Spacey · 2012-05-31 01:45:18

what happens if you eat eight???

Princess Alice · 2012-05-31 01:46:54

...Now Pinkie Pie wanting to work in a kumquat orchard makes much, much more sense

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 01:47:13

^^You'd be dead before that would happen. However, that many would most likely cause you to explode.

^She has a perverted death wish?

Spacey · 2012-05-31 01:50:07

DEATH

BY

EXPLOSIVE

KUMQUAT

Misery · 2012-05-31 02:03:49

mmmmmmmmmmmmm waffles

Spacey · 2012-05-31 02:05:19

it's amazing how things can be utterly hilarious to me ten minutes ago and sound completely stupid now

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 02:06:58

^^You horribly unhealthy child

^Not my faultt your posting in this thread

Haven · 2012-05-31 02:07:43

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 02:08:55

^Truly, a deadly combination.

Princess Alice · 2012-05-31 02:09:32

did applejack survive

Spacey · 2012-05-31 02:10:23

actually, it is your fault! You made this thread, you enabler.

Haven · 2012-05-31 02:11:20

^^ No

Although, per the Jumpingzombie General's report, things that are red encourage cannibalism, so she probably only survived that long by EATING HER FAMILY

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 02:13:45

Spacey: Just because I deal the illegal drugs does not mean it's my fault you become addicted.

RainbowMatt · 2012-05-31 03:35:14

I don't even.

Princess Alice · 2012-05-31 03:41:41

Like I said: JZ is the queen of stupid-funny.

Yarrun XIX · 2012-05-31 03:46:30

A constant stream of Freudian symbology.

Stuff tastes like whatsit.

Unknown · 2012-05-31 04:06:59

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 12:50:27

^^^^Obviously, you've been eating too much jicama to understand the utmost importance of this thread.

Imipolex G · 2012-05-31 13:04:00

NO

JUMPINGZOMBIE

NO

I WILL EAT WAFFLES FOREVER

BECAUSE WAFFLES ARE

EXCELLENT AND AWESOME

Misery · 2012-05-31 13:06:09

^ AMEN

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 13:12:23

This thread was pretty much created because I really want waffles. Stupid dining centers being closed. Waffles were actually good there.

^^Well then, I hope you realize the eternal purgatory you've doomed yourself to. You've quite literally damned your immortal soul.

What's that? You don't believe in souls?

Well, by consuming so many waffles, you've created one. It's been proven by science.

Imipolex G · 2012-05-31 13:13:21

God bless my waffly soul!

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 13:16:12

except not because all waffle souls go to hell

Imipolex G · 2012-05-31 13:19:38

In that case

Justice4243 · 2012-05-31 13:20:08

I need a new waffle iron. :(

I used to make waffles pretty often.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-05-31 13:45:27

How can you say no to waffles when you can do that with them?

Unknown · 2012-05-31 15:08:19

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Haven · 2012-05-31 15:30:31

Especially with bacon.

Oh man, bacon. I should start regularly consuming that again. (Problem, arteries?)

Justice4243 · 2012-05-31 17:42:52

Last weekend I had pancakes with bacon, eggs, and maple syrup.

It was awesome.

Obā-san · 2012-05-31 18:03:39

YOU MONSTER.

Justice4243 · 2012-05-31 19:13:40

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbUTNEnUiXY&t=0m43s

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 19:39:59

Seriously guys, stop showing off delicious looking food. I'm a broke college student D: Also, Spaced was such a fabulous show.

Hey, you don't have to say no to waffles, you can just die a horrible, horrible death.

Justice42 said:
Last weekend I had pancakes with bacon, eggs, and maple syrup.

Maple??! You know that's the deadliest of all syrups, what with it's ludicrous name.

Unknown · 2012-05-31 21:12:09

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Tachyon · 2012-05-31 21:15:13

>This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds. Sorry about that.

Don't lie to me YouTube, you're not sorry at all!

Princess Alice · 2012-05-31 21:18:04

Of course YouTube is sorry, they'd love to show you ads against someone else's content. It's Channel 4 you have to watch out for! :P

Tachyon · 2012-05-31 21:27:32

Pah! I'm not scared of Channel 4.

DO YOU HEAR ME CHANNEL 4? YOUR QUIRKY IDENTS AND VOYEURISTIC REALITY PROGRAMMING DO NOT FRIGHTEN ME!

Tre · 2012-05-31 21:40:43

It's E4 you have to be worried about, what with Skins and things.

Jumpingzombie · 2012-05-31 22:33:13

Obviously it was blocked because you eat waffles. I do not have any eat waffles so it's not blocked for me :)

Sredni Vashtar · 2012-05-31 23:56:13

I want to eat one of those Belgian waffles with the pearls of sugar in them. I haven't done so in months and it would be just so delicious.

Unknown · 2012-06-01 00:13:59

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Justice4243 · 2012-06-01 02:55:09

Fouria G said:
>This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds. Sorry about that.

Don't lie to me YouTube, you're not sorry at all!

It was from "Spaced".

You're probably familiar with the series, but it's where Shawn Pegg happily admits his guilt and throws himself out a closed window.

A.K.A the best part of the entire series.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-06-01 07:47:24

Channel 4 always block British people from watching their shit on Youtube.

Justice4243 · 2012-06-01 11:58:21

That's kinda funny. I can understand it for recent stuff, but how often do they show reruns of Spaced?

"Waffles" are too silly sounding to be nutritious

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories