The True Story of the Letter W
In 2013, W was removed from the alphabet after a court ruled it infringed on the inellectual property of the letter V. "You cannot just put the same thing twice and have it be an original work," said Judge Billy West. "If that were the case, I would simply upload Rugrats epsiodes to YouTube twice and tell Viacom to suck it."
Following the ruling, Q announced it would not be renewing its contract with U, instead opting to pursue a career as "the new W!" Q's campaign was not a success, however, as in early 2014 W reached a settlement to license V, and W was re-added to the alphabet. Without U to back it up, Q was forced to retire from the alphabet.
But all was not lost--vowel tycoon E saw the opportunity to replace Q, and purchased the letter ß from the German language. Having determined that ß's original purpose was redundant to the letter S, E re-imagined ß as "a better Q than Q"--it represented the original sounds of "Qu", but without the need for an additional U.
And that, my children, is why your keyboards start with "ßWERTYUIOP".
Following the ruling, Q announced it would not be renewing its contract with U, instead opting to pursue a career as "the new W!" Q's campaign was not a success, however, as in early 2014 W reached a settlement to license V, and W was re-added to the alphabet. Without U to back it up, Q was forced to retire from the alphabet.
But all was not lost--vowel tycoon E saw the opportunity to replace Q, and purchased the letter ß from the German language. Having determined that ß's original purpose was redundant to the letter S, E re-imagined ß as "a better Q than Q"--it represented the original sounds of "Qu", but without the need for an additional U.
And that, my children, is why your keyboards start with "ßWERTYUIOP".
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Comments
am i a heretic
In which case, how old is your computer, man? That thing must be slower than...TVTropes right now.
it's the ice age
nobody will get my batman joke
☭
B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
⚢