Corrupt A Wish!

Misery · 2012-04-27 23:45:21

Pretty much what the title says.

I wish for a bucket of ice cream!

Haven · 2012-04-27 23:46:30

You have ice cream, but you're on fire.

I wish for some beer.

Spacey · 2012-04-27 23:48:51

I want a spaceship.

Tanya · 2012-04-27 23:51:34

You have a spaceship, but it's in space with no way to get to it.

I wish for 20 spurned Kittens.

Obā-san · 2012-04-27 23:59:10

I WISH FOR ANY TRACE FORUM GAMES EVER EXISTED TO BE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

Unknown · 2012-04-28 01:03:16

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Haven · 2012-04-28 01:04:28

You have a pair of wings, but they're on fire.

I wish for pony

Viani · 2012-04-28 01:24:46

You get a pony, which is not alive.

I wish for Natalee Holloway News Coverage.

Icalasari · 2012-04-28 05:20:52

Granted. She is found in Aruba Land, dead

I wish for a navy blue stone. This stone will weigh exactly 50 grams and
will be perfectly smooth, with a glossy surface. This surface reflects
back 70% of the light. It is 2 inches by an inch wide by half an inch
thick. Its shape is an oval and all edges are perfectly smooth. The
bottom is flat (still with a smooth edge though). This stone will always
be 20 degrees Celsius, no matter what

This stone will appear 5 seconds after this wish is done being stated,
and will appear 5 cm above the surface of my outstretched hand's palm.
If the stone ever goes missing, I just have to hold out my hand and
think of it being above my hand, and it will appear 5 cm above the
surface of my palm. Whenever it appears - whether because I retrieved it
using the thought process or because of the wish, it will fall at a
reasonable speed, not hurting me from the speed or falling slower than a
piece of normal, crumpled up paper

This stone will grant wishes for me in exactly the way I want, acting as
a benevolent genie. It will grant infinite wishes for me whenever I
want, wherever I want. This stone cannot harm me in any way, shape, or
form. No wishes can allow the stone to harm me unless I accept the harm
(via accepting that a certain level of harm is required for the wish to
happen, I want harm, etc. It will never go above the level of harm I'm
expecting, however, unless I explicitly allow that), this wish excluded
(as in this wish cannot allow the stone to harm me)

I just have to think of the wish for it to be granted, thus preventing, say, strep throat from keeping me from making a wish

Mega_Magikarp · 2012-04-28 11:39:14

Okay, it does, and it works perfectly.

...However, the stone is indefinitely on fire, and glued to your hand. Probably should of specified it not to do that.

I wish that I was a zombie.

ProfessorGator · 2012-04-28 11:58:26

Granted. You are now an ice zombie. CREATIVITY!

I wish for a fireproof, iceproof book of magic spells.

Mega_Magikarp · 2012-04-28 12:02:49

It's not waterproof! Right after you get it, you accidentally leave it outside in the rain and the pages get stuck together.

I wish I was a parrot.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-28 12:51:26

Granted, you're a parrot. Enjoy your new existence as an unsapient bird.

I wish for a signpost.

Vriska · 2012-04-28 13:03:29

It is staking you through the chest.

I wish for rocket 8oots, in my size, fully functional and a8le to 8e steered and everything, in 8right red.

Boney · 2012-04-28 13:07:45

The rocket boots are already on and blast off without you.

I wish for nothing to go wrong with my next wish.

ProfessorGator · 2012-04-28 13:12:17

"Nothing" goes wrong: the concept of nothingness gains sentience and an insatiable desire to consume everything. The universe is destroyed. Have a nice day.

I wish for an ordinary oatmeal raisin cookie.

TheMightyAnonym · 2012-04-28 14:30:10

I conjured up a cookie for you, but I eated it.

I wish that it would be caturday forever!

Haven · 2012-04-28 14:32:27

You're on fire. You become a perpetually flaming sacrifice to empower the Eternal Caturday. Your burning fuels the Vast Meow.

I wish for more Pokemon references in politics.

Justice4243 · 2012-04-28 14:34:42

People start comparing Obama to Chimchar! It's super racist!

I wish I had another pair of glasses.

Vriska · 2012-04-28 14:46:58

They're the wrong prescription and have really girly frames.

I wish for a set of not-on-fire Vriska cosplay horns to go with the rest of my not-on-fire Vriska cosplay.

ProfessorGator · 2012-04-28 14:51:30

One of the horns you get is made of a thick metal wrench. As a result, your costume is very heavy and uncomfortable.

I wish to be a sapient Totodile that will not be captured by any evil organizations.

Tre · 2012-04-28 14:53:37

Wish granted, but you're shunned by your peers and considered a freak by humans, and so you die lonely.

I wish, I wish, I were a fish.

Tachyon · 2012-04-28 15:19:31

You wish that you wish that you were a fish. You consequently wish that you were a fish, but nothing happens because you already used your only free wish to wish you wished you were a fish.

I wish to be happy and not on fire.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-28 15:23:04

Granted, you are happy, not on fire, and in the middle of the Pacifc Ocean, surrounded by the last surviving specimens of the Megamouth Shark species.

I wish I had a tail.

Boney · 2012-04-28 15:25:14

Granted, you are a fetus.

I wish I could fly.

ProfessorGator · 2012-04-28 15:26:04

^^You get a gecko tail. It saves your life when you are attacked by rabid wolverines, but that's because it snapped off. (Ninja'd)

^You can fly, but you are never allowed to stop flying and eventually die of exhaustion.

I wish for an unused Ring of Three Wishes.

Tachyon · 2012-04-28 15:28:04

All three wishes get corrupted badly.

I wish for delicious pizza.

Icalasari · 2012-04-29 00:00:43

^ Granted. One delicious, man eating pizza for you!

Mega Magikarp:

"No wishes can allow the stone to harm me unless I accept the harm
(via accepting that a certain level of harm is required for the wish to
happen, I want harm, etc. It will never go above the level of harm I'm
expecting, however, unless I explicitly allow that), this wish excluded
(as in this wish cannot allow the stone to harm me)"

So yeah, I repeat my earlier wish as Mega Magikarp broke the specifics for it (the stone being on fire inherently harms me, and I'm sure it being glued to my hand isn't good for my health either):

I wish for a navy blue stone. This stone will weigh exactly 50 grams and
will be perfectly smooth, with a glossy surface. This surface reflects
back 70% of the light. It is 2 inches by an inch wide by half an inch
thick. Its shape is an oval and all edges are perfectly smooth. The
bottom is flat (still with a smooth edge though). This stone will always
be 20 degrees Celsius, no matter what

This stone will appear 5 seconds after this wish is done being stated,
and will appear 5 cm above the surface of my outstretched hand's palm.
If the stone ever goes missing, I just have to hold out my hand and
think of it being above my hand, and it will appear 5 cm above the
surface of my palm. Whenever it appears - whether because I retrieved it
using the thought process or because of the wish, it will fall at a
reasonable speed, not hurting me from the speed or falling slower than a
piece of normal, crumpled up paper

This stone will grant wishes for me in exactly the way I want, acting as
a benevolent genie. It will grant infinite wishes for me whenever I
want, wherever I want. This stone cannot harm me in any way, shape, or
form. No wishes can allow the stone to harm me unless I accept the harm
(via accepting that a certain level of harm is required for the wish to
happen, I want harm, etc. It will never go above the level of harm I'm
expecting, however, unless I explicitly allow that), this wish excluded
(as in this wish cannot allow the stone to harm me)

I just have to think of the wish for it to be granted, thus preventing, say, strep throat from keeping me from making a wish

Haven · 2012-04-29 01:02:13

You receive irreparable brain damage immediately before getting the stone and cannot achieve the threshold of activity required to use it.

I wish a moral coward one who lacks a manly spark, I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-29 01:11:27

Granted, but you're on fire.

I wish for a watermelon.

Misery · 2012-04-29 01:26:21

Granted but the watermelon crushes you.

I wish for a unicorn.

Spacey · 2012-04-29 20:38:41

Granted, but the unicorn is a horse with an ice-cream cone taped on its forehead.

I want a new pair of shoes!

Tachyon · 2012-04-29 21:31:34

They're Crocs. Not even real Crocs, either, cheap knock-off Crocs.

I wish for £1000000.

Spacey · 2012-04-29 21:36:27

You get £1,000,000, entirely in pennies.

I want a horse with an ice-cream cone taped on its forehead!

ProfessorGator · 2012-04-29 21:36:54

You become a heavy metal statue that weighs exactly one million pounds more than you do. You're still conscious. Have a nice eternity.

The cone is flat at the bottom, so the horse won't even make a remotely convincing unicorn. It is also deathly allergic to the flavor of ice cream that is currently touching its forehead.

I wish for all of the Robot Master weapons.

Unknown · 2012-04-29 21:45:44

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Tachyon · 2012-04-29 23:01:35

In a surprising result to the election, a bowl of salad is elected supreme dictator of your country, and consequently everything turns to shit.

I wish I were a bird.

lee4hmz · 2012-04-29 23:38:40

You become Osaka. OH MY GAH!

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-29 23:39:29

Granted, Lee.

I wish for purple nails.

Unknown · 2012-04-29 23:40:38

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Haven · 2012-04-30 00:03:00

It's a Ponyta.

I wish it was real.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-30 00:05:04

Granted, but it's....wait, no.

Granted, but it's not on fire.

I wish for all the money I could ever want.

Unknown · 2012-04-30 00:57:43

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Justice4243 · 2012-04-30 01:03:15

Granted, it's from Satan.

I wish for some ice cream.

Viani · 2012-04-30 04:41:16

You didn't specify which flavor, which unfortunately leads to the entropy of your brain from the horrid and incomprehensible atrocities that have befallen your tongue, sending alien signals to your brain that instantly lobotomize you, causing your heart to jerk and explode, blood filling the empty canals of your organs and causing your spine to rupture and stab into your intestines, causing your stomach to rip and explode in yellow and black shit-covered organ splotches.

I wish I had blonde hair.

Tachyon · 2012-04-30 04:45:41

You get a jar of blonde hair. If you break the seal of the jar, it leaks smallpox into the room.

I wish for a puppy.

Viani · 2012-04-30 04:48:15

You get a jar of puppies. If you break the seal of the jar, the puppies remains will seep and bleed out, leaking blood and fur-covered pus all over any open surfaces.

I wish I had a lighter.

Unknown · 2012-04-30 13:14:10

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Viani · 2012-04-30 21:03:35

You gain your potato chip, but somebody from a familiar series tells you it's in another castle.

I wish Kodomo no Jikan was real.

Yarrun XIX · 2012-04-30 21:07:46

It is. The teacher gets arrested and the kindergarteners are placed in therapy for the rest of their lives.

I wish that you wouldn't corrupt this wish.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-04-30 21:09:42

Granted. You have wished for nothing.

I wish for dominoes.

Corrupt A Wish!

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories