The Domestic Bus & Its Role in Centralian Public Transit ~ A Report

edited 2023-03-01 08:22:58 in Chocolate II
Click click. I am holding a dictaphone!

The following comes from the desk of [reference missing].

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The Centralian Bus is not a machine. Not really, it's more apt to describe them as beasts of burden, akin to camels, donkeys, or lowland unicorns. These buses have been tamed by Centralians, and those who live in what is currently Centralia, for [reference missing] years, and the practice of rearing a young busling to adulthood and shaping it into a fully-fledged transit vehicle is, at this point, well understood.

Buses are boxy and herbivorous, each possessing as few as four to as many as eighteen "tracks" that we would recognize as wheels. Buses are large creatures, and require much sustenance, but the average adult bus can easily be sated by a day's worth of bus fare, consisting of but not limited to:

  • Lollipops
  • Coins (metal or chocolate)
  • Lollipops
  • Fresh Fruit
  • Garbage
  • Treasure
  • The Dead
  • The Living
  • Anime Bodypillows
Although only the first two of these are common sights in the present day.

A bus is soft and slimy when first born, and in their juvenile state, a busling resembles nothing so much as a cat-sized, soft-bodied isopod. As it grows its tracks quickly become able to role, and the large, iron-hard carapace that defines the adult bus's shape forms over the course of about two years. [citation needed? Reference error a?
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.

Buses are believed to descend from a predatory ancestor, given their large, luminous front-facing eyes ('headlights') and toothy maws. A handful of specimens of related species are known, including the Wild Bus, and the Discordantiian Pedestrian Murder Turbo Tesla, although the precise cladistic relationship between the Centralian Domestic Bus and these other specimens is, at present, unclear. Equally so is the relationship between the Domestic Bus and Centralia's trains.

All Buses that constitute part of the Centralian Public Transit Network are raised and overseen by Centralia's Busmaster General, the Baron O. Coloeus Cromh IV, who inherited xer position from xer uncle, Baron L. Coloeus Cromh II, in 1994. [reference missing] The knowledge of how to raise and domesticate buses is an exclusive "practical secret" of the Cromh Family, and they are the only authorized bus-raisers in Centralia. [? Coincidentally, O. C. Cromh also works as a bus drive"Code":5041,"Exception":"disused_area//warning:intrusive-data-not-cleared-for-viewing-do-not-clickkr/

Comments

  • edited 2023-03-03 00:14:15
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Finally someone's putting my research to good use.

    Although the question of how the Common Omnibus Carriage, or Wild Bus, made its way from Centralia to the Other Human World given the multiplicity of references made in folklore and popular culture (cf. Tonari no Totoro, 1988) remains open.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    "young busling" this is great
  • edited 2023-03-01 20:08:54
    what are current laws governing exporting some of these creatures to gensokyo
  • edited 2023-03-01 21:16:20

    what are current laws governing exporting some of these creatures to gensokyo

    As far as I know (which is based on zero sources), it is ABSOLUTELY ILLEGAL without a license.
  • what are current laws governing exporting some of these creatures to gensokyo

    Glenn Harvey, here is a list of facts for you relating to this inquiry.

    1. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    2. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    3. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    4. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    5. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    6. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    7. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    8. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    9. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    Please consider this full situation in the future.
  • edited 2023-03-02 01:02:56
    It is a well-known fact that there are no buses in Gensokyo.

    But is it a rule?
  • It is a well-known fact that there are no buses in Gensokyo.


    But is it a rule?
    You need to listen to me right now.

    Yes it is a rule. Here are the reasons for the RULE. You may be familiar with some of them:

    1. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    2. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    3. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    4. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    5. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    6. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    7. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    8. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    9. there are no buses in Gensokyo
    Please remember! Buses (including my bus) are predominantly - but not exclusively! - herbivores. Do NOT become a protein supplement.

    This bird is going to nap now. You can't stop me!
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    perhaps the gensokyian ecosystem is not right for buses
  • edited 2023-03-11 20:22:05

    perhaps the gensokyian ecosystem is not right for buses

    Buses don't do well in water, and water and gensokyo both contain the letter "e" but not the letter "m", which means that neither of them are made of formaldehyde (which contains both letters) or sand (which contains neither), so of course there aren't any buses in Gensokyo.
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