What should Shrek V be about?

Anonus

Shreks III and IV are widely considered to be below the standard set by the first two installments.

I propose that the fifth Shrek feature a scene in which Puss in Boots meets El Kabong.

Obā-san

it's just the Shrek is.love Shrek is lkkfe Copypasta read dramatically by each member of the cast then a black screen for the rewamining part of the 2.5 hours, Bitch

Obā-san

alternately it's 1:1 remake of Gold finger in the way Pacific Rim is a 1:1 remake of Independence Day????

Imipolex G

Shrek being slowly tortured to death while Italo disco music plays

Klinotaxis

faith.

Yarrun XIX

Open to black. Hold on it for three minutes in silence. Then, from the left, the noise of laughter. Cue Donkey and Shrek, walking in from the left and cracking wise, wandering eternally in what appears to be a pitch black void. Myers and Murphy play off each other for a few minutes before they reach the river Lethe, dark with the memories taken from those who drink of its waters. They briefly question whether they should drink of it, alluding to both Shrek the Third and Shrek IV as well as some offscreen unexplained incident. They argue about a claim made by Donkey that they've already drunk of Lethe and they don't remember that because Lethe made them forget. Eventually they get tired of it and lounge on the riverbank, thinking about better times with their lovers, until a small ship emerges from downstream. Hypnos is on it (played by Christopher Walken), ferried by Charon, and after a few jokes about his hat, he allows Shrek and Donkey to ride with him upstream. 

They are brought to the celebration of eternal slumber. Donkey seems to split off from the rest of the party while Shrek defends his absence with his usual quipping. But then Donkey emerges, holding an old purple-tinged decanter, and the game is up, for the decanter holds the lost dreams of mortals and can bring them to life. Cut the usual escape scene staging. 

Hurriedly, once they're out of range of Hypnos, they argue whether to open the decanter. Donkey backpedals, saying that they should try and escape before Hypnos and get someone else to open it, but Shrek counters that it's been decades, everyone else is locked in eternal slumber or dead, and Hypnos will not allow them to return to the beauty of life alive. They know what must be done, and the decanter is opened.

Pure blackness. Then a pair of sad, white eyes open and a deep basso profundo slowly builds up. The figure behind the eyes castigate the audience for what they've done, supporting yet another Shrek sequel without care for its quality, sometimes accusing them of specific things that they did in the dark and that only the shadows would pin to them. Eventually, he grows tired and regards Shrek and Donkey, who have been watching behind the black with total bemusement. They ask him to return to mankind, for without ambition in the hearts of me, black and terrible though it may be, the world stagnated and without competition, the world fell asleep. He says there will be a price. He knows. They know. Shrek reached out his hand and doesn't wince as it is bitten off. 

As the scene returns to the banks of the Lethe, Shrek urges Donkey to go, see his children, and ensure the safety of his own. The movie closes out on a long pan of Shrek slowly crawling to the Lethe, blood oozing from his stump arm and the hunters of Hypnos coming close, until he stumbles into the water like a sack of oats, forever forgotten for what he has done.

Anonus

Have any other DreamWorks Animation characters drank of Lethe

Yarrun XIX

That's how Dory ended up how she was, at least until I actually get around to watching Finding Dory

Anonus

She's a Pixar character

Yarrun XIX

DAMMIT

Imipolex G

Shrek vs. Alien vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash vs. Big the Cat.

Anonus

Imipolex G said:

Shrek vs. Alien vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash vs. Big the Cat.

Do you know how much it would cost to license those other characters

TitleName

Do not let licensing get in the way of dreams. :V

Anonus

Fine I'll just have a bunch of legal threat-dodging knockoffs in there

That's funnier

Sredni Vashtar

Yarrun XIX said:

Open to black. Hold on it for three minutes in silence. Then, from the left, the noise of laughter. Cue Donkey and Shrek, walking in from the left and cracking wise, wandering eternally in what appears to be a pitch black void. Myers and Murphy play off each other for a few minutes before they reach the river Lethe, dark with the memories taken from those who drink of its waters. They briefly question whether they should drink of it, alluding to both Shrek the Third and Shrek IV as well as some offscreen unexplained incident. They argue about a claim made by Donkey that they've already drunk of Lethe and they don't remember that because Lethe made them forget. Eventually they get tired of it and lounge on the riverbank, thinking about better times with their lovers, until a small ship emerges from downstream. Hypnos is on it (played by Christopher Walken), ferried by Charon, and after a few jokes about his hat, he allows Shrek and Donkey to ride with him upstream. 

They are brought to the celebration of eternal slumber. Donkey seems to split off from the rest of the party while Shrek defends his absence with his usual quipping. But then Donkey emerges, holding an old purple-tinged decanter, and the game is up, for the decanter holds the lost dreams of mortals and can bring them to life. Cut the usual escape scene staging. 

Hurriedly, once they're out of range of Hypnos, they argue whether to open the decanter. Donkey backpedals, saying that they should try and escape before Hypnos and get someone else to open it, but Shrek counters that it's been decades, everyone else is locked in eternal slumber or dead, and Hypnos will not allow them to return to the beauty of life alive. They know what must be done, and the decanter is opened.

Pure blackness. Then a pair of sad, white eyes open and a deep basso profundo slowly builds up. The figure behind the eyes castigate the audience for what they've done, supporting yet another Shrek sequel without care for its quality, sometimes accusing them of specific things that they did in the dark and that only the shadows would pin to them. Eventually, he grows tired and regards Shrek and Donkey, who have been watching behind the black with total bemusement. They ask him to return to mankind, for without ambition in the hearts of me, black and terrible though it may be, the world stagnated and without competition, the world fell asleep. He says there will be a price. He knows. They know. Shrek reached out his hand and doesn't wince as it is bitten off. 

As the scene returns to the banks of the Lethe, Shrek urges Donkey to go, see his children, and ensure the safety of his own. The movie closes out on a long pan of Shrek slowly crawling to the Lethe, blood oozing from his stump arm and the hunters of Hypnos coming close, until he stumbles into the water like a sack of oats, forever forgotten for what he has done.

So, in other words, like the actual last episode of Angry Beavers.

Yarrun XIX

Eh. They never really realize the nature of their existence. They just have to appeal to an entity who does.

Anonus

Sredni Vashtar said:

Yarrun XIX said:

Open to black. Hold on it for three minutes in silence. Then, from the left, the noise of laughter. Cue Donkey and Shrek, walking in from the left and cracking wise, wandering eternally in what appears to be a pitch black void. Myers and Murphy play off each other for a few minutes before they reach the river Lethe, dark with the memories taken from those who drink of its waters. They briefly question whether they should drink of it, alluding to both Shrek the Third and Shrek IV as well as some offscreen unexplained incident. They argue about a claim made by Donkey that they've already drunk of Lethe and they don't remember that because Lethe made them forget. Eventually they get tired of it and lounge on the riverbank, thinking about better times with their lovers, until a small ship emerges from downstream. Hypnos is on it (played by Christopher Walken), ferried by Charon, and after a few jokes about his hat, he allows Shrek and Donkey to ride with him upstream. 

They are brought to the celebration of eternal slumber. Donkey seems to split off from the rest of the party while Shrek defends his absence with his usual quipping. But then Donkey emerges, holding an old purple-tinged decanter, and the game is up, for the decanter holds the lost dreams of mortals and can bring them to life. Cut the usual escape scene staging. 

Hurriedly, once they're out of range of Hypnos, they argue whether to open the decanter. Donkey backpedals, saying that they should try and escape before Hypnos and get someone else to open it, but Shrek counters that it's been decades, everyone else is locked in eternal slumber or dead, and Hypnos will not allow them to return to the beauty of life alive. They know what must be done, and the decanter is opened.

Pure blackness. Then a pair of sad, white eyes open and a deep basso profundo slowly builds up. The figure behind the eyes castigate the audience for what they've done, supporting yet another Shrek sequel without care for its quality, sometimes accusing them of specific things that they did in the dark and that only the shadows would pin to them. Eventually, he grows tired and regards Shrek and Donkey, who have been watching behind the black with total bemusement. They ask him to return to mankind, for without ambition in the hearts of me, black and terrible though it may be, the world stagnated and without competition, the world fell asleep. He says there will be a price. He knows. They know. Shrek reached out his hand and doesn't wince as it is bitten off. 

As the scene returns to the banks of the Lethe, Shrek urges Donkey to go, see his children, and ensure the safety of his own. The movie closes out on a long pan of Shrek slowly crawling to the Lethe, blood oozing from his stump arm and the hunters of Hypnos coming close, until he stumbles into the water like a sack of oats, forever forgotten for what he has done.

So, in other words, like the actual last episode of Angry Beavers.

Oh yeah isn't that the one Nick refused to produce?

Sredni Vashtar

Anonus said:

Sredni Vashtar said:

Yarrun XIX said:

Open to black. Hold on it for three minutes in silence. Then, from the left, the noise of laughter. Cue Donkey and Shrek, walking in from the left and cracking wise, wandering eternally in what appears to be a pitch black void. Myers and Murphy play off each other for a few minutes before they reach the river Lethe, dark with the memories taken from those who drink of its waters. They briefly question whether they should drink of it, alluding to both Shrek the Third and Shrek IV as well as some offscreen unexplained incident. They argue about a claim made by Donkey that they've already drunk of Lethe and they don't remember that because Lethe made them forget. Eventually they get tired of it and lounge on the riverbank, thinking about better times with their lovers, until a small ship emerges from downstream. Hypnos is on it (played by Christopher Walken), ferried by Charon, and after a few jokes about his hat, he allows Shrek and Donkey to ride with him upstream. 

They are brought to the celebration of eternal slumber. Donkey seems to split off from the rest of the party while Shrek defends his absence with his usual quipping. But then Donkey emerges, holding an old purple-tinged decanter, and the game is up, for the decanter holds the lost dreams of mortals and can bring them to life. Cut the usual escape scene staging. 

Hurriedly, once they're out of range of Hypnos, they argue whether to open the decanter. Donkey backpedals, saying that they should try and escape before Hypnos and get someone else to open it, but Shrek counters that it's been decades, everyone else is locked in eternal slumber or dead, and Hypnos will not allow them to return to the beauty of life alive. They know what must be done, and the decanter is opened.

Pure blackness. Then a pair of sad, white eyes open and a deep basso profundo slowly builds up. The figure behind the eyes castigate the audience for what they've done, supporting yet another Shrek sequel without care for its quality, sometimes accusing them of specific things that they did in the dark and that only the shadows would pin to them. Eventually, he grows tired and regards Shrek and Donkey, who have been watching behind the black with total bemusement. They ask him to return to mankind, for without ambition in the hearts of me, black and terrible though it may be, the world stagnated and without competition, the world fell asleep. He says there will be a price. He knows. They know. Shrek reached out his hand and doesn't wince as it is bitten off. 

As the scene returns to the banks of the Lethe, Shrek urges Donkey to go, see his children, and ensure the safety of his own. The movie closes out on a long pan of Shrek slowly crawling to the Lethe, blood oozing from his stump arm and the hunters of Hypnos coming close, until he stumbles into the water like a sack of oats, forever forgotten for what he has done.

So, in other words, like the actual last episode of Angry Beavers.

Oh yeah isn't that the one Nick refused to produce?

I think they produced it but only broadcast it once.

Odradek

Wow I can't believe the final episode of Castle was an adaptation of Franz Kafka's The Castle

Odradek

Also either the opening or closing credits should be set to a Smash Mouth cover of Dem Bones

Viani

Anonus said:

Fine I'll just have a bunch of legal threat-dodging knockoffs in there

That's funnier

Are you sure

because that's how Drawn Together happened

Then again, a TV-MA Shrek TV Show with 3 seasons and a movie (and a board game) isn't too bad either

Anonus

Oh god Drawn Together was so badass

Anonus

Or so I thought at the time

Viani

Nah I still love Drawn Together, and I wish they didn't go too far with Season 3 and ultimately killed themselves in the process, but Season 3's rape of the "uncrossable line" produced some very awesome episodes.

Like when Captain Hero discovers a phone that can talk to people in the past.

Xandir: "Captain Hero, why are you torturing your 13 year old self"

Captain Hero: "WHY? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE WHEN I WAS THAT AGE SOME ASSHOLE DID THE SAAAAAAAAAAME THING TO ME."

Odradek

Anonus said:

Oh god Drawn Together was so badass

lee4hmz

Two hours of not particularly good Shrek poops, ending in some kind of JPEG horproor.

Anonus

lee4hmz said:

Two hours of not particularly good Shrek poops, ending in some kind of JPEG horproor.

For every dollar that Comcast makes from this movie, net neutrality loses 1% of its life force!