Jack Mack and the Heart Attack MEGATHREAD

Odradek

This is for discussing Jack Mack and the Heart Attack.

IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT JACK MACK:

*Jack Mack has never once died in an underground dog racing bet gone wrong

*Jack Mack invents 50% of all new drinks by putting stuff together and they getting people to dare him to drink it

*Every member of the Heart Attack has, at one time or another, been either the third guy in ZZ Top, the fourth guy in Phish, or the fifth guy in a police line up

*That CGI character they added to the Jabba's Palace sequence in Return of the Jedi is based on Jack Mack

*When you party with Jack Mack, you wake up smelling like tabasco sauce with nothing left in your wallet but your social security card. You open the fridge and find a hog's head and a jar of pickles with all the pickle juice gone, but all the pickles still there. Your sister won't return your calls , and you don't know why, and you never will

*Jack Mack is from Nebraska

Yarrun XIX

* Jack Mack and the Heart Attack has a black member

* Every member of the Heart Attack has, at one time or another, been either the third guy in ZZ Top, the fourth guy in Phish, or the fifth guy in a police line up

* Neither ZZ Top nor Phish have ever had a black member

Odiiiiiiie! That's racist, dagnabbit!

Yarrun XIX

For some reason, I was certain that this was a Jane thread

Odradek

He was the lighting guy for Phish NOW WHO'S THE RACIST

Odradek

Salix Babylonika

Yarrun XIX said:

For some reason, I was certain that this was a Jane thread

I have never been so insulted

Odradek

*Jack Mack has slept entirely via passing out on people's couches for 40 years straight

*Jack Mack has sold all the furniture in his house to buy crack five separate times

*Robert Downey Jr. pretends he doesn't know Jack Mack, or the Heart Attack

Odradek

*You can't prove the song Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones is NOT about Jack Mack

*Fans of Jack Mack and the Heart Attack describe their genre as either "New-Wave 60s R&B" or "Fat Guy John Candy Music"

Odradek

*The Hoboken Mafia will no longer lend money to Jack Mack or any of his associates

*Every member of the Heart Attack, for entirely separate reasons, are not allowed in the country of Laos.

Odradek

*Medical science, as of yet, has no explanation for how Jack Mack's body continues to function

*Wild Cherry frontman Rob Parissi has a pact with Jack Mack. If they are both still single at 75, they will kill each other.