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An ABC Warner Thanksgiving

AnonusAnonus
in Chocolate
I had no plans for Thanksgiving. But being a major holiday I needed a giant synergistic clusterfuck.

What do?

Comments

  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Hold the Super Bowl early
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ABC actually has the rights to one of the NFL's games that day
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    It has to be the Super Bowl or it won't work
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    But Fox has the rights to it this year

    Also, don't give Goodell ideas! Even though this would mean shortening the season which he and his billionaire bosses wouldn't go for
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    The halftime show has to be John Zorn's Electric Masada with every previous living player performing together plus the entirety of both teams' resident marching bands in a full-on freeform big-band klezmer-fusion spectacle ending in an epic performance of an apropos Jewish folk tune while the current President-Elect is burned in effigy.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The Washington R******s and the Baltimore Ravens are the only NFL teams that have marching bands
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    You'll just have to substitute the Cattanooga Cats instead then
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Also, the Super Bowl must revert to Shrovetide rules: A neutral ground is set and an equal number of residents from each town must attempt to get the ball into the other team's goal, which should be set no less than one mile from the opposing goal. Winner takes all and receives national glory; the one who should punt or toss the winning goal shall be borne upon the shoulders of his comrades and made the Champion of the Land, to whom all other sportsmen must defer.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Even ones who play other sports?
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Central Avenue said:

    You'll just have to substitute the Cattanooga Cats instead then


    EXCELLENT
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    The Champion of the Land shall receive a triumph, in which he is given the laurel crown and driven down the main thoroughfare of his city and the city of the defeated in a chariot pulled by snow-white destriers while thrown the flowers of those who would adore him and the hats and coats of those who would respect him for his noble prowess. Gongs shall be sounded and all the bells of the cities shall toll on the day of his birth for that one year.
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Anonus said:

    Even ones who play other sports?

    Yes. Champions of the Land are kings among sportsmen. They would die for our glory.

    Note also that participants in the Greatest Game shall be selected not only from the team players of American football who have up until this point represented their city, but from all other relevant professions of sportsmanship. Referees shall go on horseback, selected only from the purest of heart, sharpest of senses and wisest of judgement.
  • thenamelesssamuraithenamelesssamurai

    Sredni Vashtar said:

    The halftime show has to be John Zorn's Electric Masada with every previous living player performing together plus the entirety of both teams' resident marching bands in a full-on freeform big-band klezmer-fusion spectacle ending in an epic performance of an apropos Jewish folk tune while the current President-Elect is burned in effigy.

    Make the ending song be Secret Chiefs 3 +Sunn O))) playing a big band/full chorus backed, 12 minute extended version of "Hamaya" (aka, the song that goes from Klezmer tune to Drone Metal) and I'm sold.
  • eriophora ziaeriophora zia
    I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god
    Anonus said:

    The Washington R******s and the Baltimore Ravens are the only NFL teams that have marching bands

    University marching bands are often brought on for superbowl halftimes, though. ASU's was in the last halftime show.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Oh

    I didn't know that
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    REDSKINS
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