Romatically Apocalyptic (Image Heavy)

Justice4243

Have you read it?

Do you like web-comics?

Do you like Scenery Gorn?

If the answers are "No","Yes", and "Yes", respectively, then why are you still here? When you can be reading it now?

Here, I'll get you started:

Gelzo

I think this stuff was posted somewhere around here previously...

Justice4243

Considering I've read literally every thread, I think I would have remembered. 

Justice4243

Apparently I posted some stuff in the mega-thread about it once.

But that hardly counts.

KJI

I like it because it has good art.

Justice4243

This comic is inspired by a real "cancer purse" me and my gf found in a store, with that exact terrifyingly delicious message on it.

That's just...that's amazing. 

Salix Babylonika

...do not wash in?

Imipolex G

This used to be the only webcomic I liked. Before I learned about Listening to 11.975 MHz.

Salix Babylonika

And on that day was your life changed forevermore. Am I right or am I right?

Imipolex G

No, my life is pretty much the same. Except I found another webcomic I like.

Obā-san

Look at your thread


Now look back to me


Now back to your thread

Justice4243

Oh God! :D Awesome sauce.

I love the captains mug. It's not too much to get one off the site. 

I guess $12 + shipping is a lot for something I already have like several dozen of, but it's not like that line of reasoning has ever stopped me fro buying a web-comic shirt.

Justice4243

You know, those two would uld be unstoppable together. I'm sure they'd feed off each others weird energy and become an unstable force of dada humor. Pinkie is only really held back by societies rules and the captain is only held back every so slightly by physics. 

If they worked together, they could could make up for each others limitations and the universe would be their plaything.

Salix Babylonika

How do you know it already isn't?

Justice4243

Suddenly, I am gripped by the urge to make a Homestuck/Romantically Apocalyptic/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic cross over.

Only my fear of the terrifying power of a godhood Captain or Pinkie Pie is stopping me. 

Salix Babylonika

Leave out the Homesuck and I might read that.

Justice4243

It's not the characters I want, just the bizarre time travel and world creation aspects that SBURB offers. 

Jesus...Captain would probably figure out how to alchemize the kitty purse so it ACTUALLY does summon cancer.

Salix Babylonika

How would you summon cancer...?

Don't answer that question.

Unknown

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Salix Babylonika

Unknown

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Salix Babylonika

I can keep this up all day, buddy.

Obā-san

Aww shit, recursive image macro spam

Unknown

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Obā-san

Justice4243

MORE PONY/RA ART!

Justice4243

This comic continues to be be absurdly great.

Justice4243

So, theories on the Captain?

I used to think he was just incredibly lucky with a deluge of obfuscating stupidity, but recent events have made me wonder if he's something closer to some sort of Earth Avatar. The Apocalypse's very own "Tom Bombadil", if you will.

Ombre_Morbide

This thread needs an "(Image Heavy)" appended to its title, methinks.

↓ Perfect!

Justice4243

Done.

Justice4243

MOAR STUFF:

TheMightyAnonym

SUPER MIGHTY ARCHIVE BINGE HYPER COFFEE GO!

Justice4243

Thankfully, there's only about 80 strips, so it shouldn't take too long to archive binge.

TheMightyAnonym

*binging complete*

Dat was the awesome shit.

BEST WEBCOMIC EVUR.

Justice4243

IKNOWRITE?!

TheMightyAnonym

Seriously, I give it like... 11/10 on everything. Especially art. Dat art.

Justice4243

I just took a closer look at the Captain's grocery list.

One must wonder how many of these things Snippy was going to bother to get before returning, a few are clearly impossible for him to procure.

I'd imagine the captain asks him to do stuff like this pretty often. 

TheMightyAnonym

Well, Snippy lives in an apocalyptic wasteland, so its not like they have anything better to do. And since some of the supplies are necessary anyways (fooood), Snippy prolly figured "Eh, why the hell not".

Justice4243

A fair amount of why they do what they do certainly seems to be to "alleviate boredom". 

TheMightyAnonym

"Alleviate boredom and not die" certainly sounds like a reasonable motive.

Justice4243

Update.

Engie! :3

Love the little touch in Engineer's glasses in panel 2.

TheMightyAnonym

Snippy is employee of the month! :D

Justice4243

I saw that, too! TAKE THAT PILOT!

So, according to word of God, ONE of the cast members is a girl. I think the recent story-line has knocked off a few candidates, namely Engie and Snippy but that of course leaves a few other options.

Interestingly enough, evidence supports Captain. Granted it's hard to take anything (s)he says seriously, and the references certainly sounded like jokes at the time. Apparently, the Captain also uses a voice modulator, so what we hear from the YouTube vids is likely not his/her voice.

TheMightyAnonym

As far as mannerisms go, The Captein seems to make somewhat feminine gestures a lot, which lends more weight than anything. And let us not forget the heart mug and panels like the last one here.

Justice4243

Funnily enough, apparently the artist has his fiancée pose for some of zee captain's shots, so that might explain the the feminie gestures. 

Though, If zee captain does turn out to be the girl, that would mean many of the flagrant references to her gender would be just that, not just zee captain just being strange, as people suspect.

Which is really pretty genius.

TheMightyAnonym

If the Captein is female, then I totally want to see her unmasked, especially after revisiting this strip.

Hot Stuff!

Spacey

This is one of the few webcomics I like.

Justice4243

All there in the manual, go:

ENTRY 9997:

To anyone who finds these memory cards,
and the messages left within...

My name is Charles Snippy. I am probably the last sane human being left on earth. I know not whether you will understand this message. I know not whether you'll even be able to decode the ones and zeros on these data cards. I know not whether my voice will even reach anyone.
I know not, whether the microscopic drives will last long enough and whether the plastic and metal which composes them will not disintegrate into dust as centuries pass or whether the titanium shell encasing them will remain in place or be consumed by the ever-changing landscape, lost forever.
And yet I still have hope that someone will find the story of my life, long past and learns something of use from it.
If you are still human, then this will be a story about the collapse of civilization of your forefathers through greed and arrogance.
If you are some other species entirely, then it is a story about how our human race was extinguished through our disregard for the balance of the planetary eco-sphere that gave us life through the long line of evolution.

~

For many years I served as an officer for the GOOD Directorate Inc.

The Directorate Inc have been collecting patents and copyrighting everything from programs to inventions to drugs, everything they could get their dirty lawyer's hands on, including even basic human needs and concepts. The copyright laws were extended first to twenty years, then to a hundred and then to infinite perpetuity. Once the Directorate copyrighted sleep, there was no stopping them.
The troubles started when the Directorate activated project ANNET - a Neural Network that could connect the human mind to the internet, allowing users to browse the net constantly, using eye blinks and thoughts to get information about any product, play games or even watch movies in their sleep. Can you imagine three billion people connected to the net all the time?
We thought we could save the world with information, but since this information came mostly from entertainment companies and corporations the most important things were simply filtered, ignored or lost amidst terabytes of pop culture garbage.
At first the Neural Interfaces were simple blue head-bands but with increasing technological advances they became smaller and eventually were almost unnecessary as the directorate started to broadcast the net at the same frequency the electronic impulses that compose our thoughts. Anyway, I might be screwing up the technological side of the story as I am not a designer or programmer.

This is where my memories become hazy and confusing.

I was one of the few rare human beings alive not being able to connect to ANNET via the neural network interface and thus I remained in a dead-end job, not being able to browse the net with my thoughts and unable to afford sleep. The head-band did nothing for me and the neural transmitting towers gave me a constant headache.
Every time the network tried to connect to my mind when I closed my eyes, I got terrible nightmares, and horrid visions of the future that were making me lose track of reality.
For several months of such torture, the Directorate kept me in their offices, making me file paperwork on their "test subjects", eventually transferring me to the "Dead Zone tourism" branch, away from towering cubes of the Directorate, away cities and transmitter towers.
Centuries of industrial pollution were inevitably changing the biosphere of our world and the Directorate knew it better than anyone, yet they did nothing to stop it, profit had to be maximized, production had to be increased, customers had to be satisfied. Holes in the ozone layer, irreversible changes in the atmosphere, radioactive fallout, wild-life mutations, the days growing darker and the sky turning black - none of this mattered to them.

~

ENTRY: 381:

Just one month before I left the G complex, a few truly ridiculous cases came across my desk and so I pushed a faster transfer, fearing for completely loosing my sanity.
One of these cases called "PROJECT SEVEN" was written by an an egghead engineer Dr Gromov.
Dr Gromov proposed finding the luckiest human being on the planet through the use of ANNET's search engine, scanning 3 billion human memories for such an individual using something called the "total grid".
At first, Gromov's writing was excellent and consistent. The thesis was an idea that statistics run the world and that the person who can understand all statistics will understand exactly how the world functions and exactly how humans as a species can be saved from destruction. Dr Gromov looked for loopholes in statistical data, links between human interactions throughout history, anything that could be used as a tool of control, the ultimate lever if you will... that according to the doctor "balanced the universe".
The reports descended into ridiculous ramblings about:
a)Finding a super that exists outside of time
and
b)The grid becoming unstable and unpredictable, almost like a nervous system of a mega-mind that spanned the entire planet, users becoming neuron cells for a self-aware entity.
Endless series of tests, haphazardly conducted (thanks to Dr Gromov rushing the project) and poorly documented (thanks to the horrid bureaucracy of the Directorate) showed a complete disregard for safety of the test facility, failure to report to superiors, and inability to explain anything about what actually occurred.
I blamed Dr Gromov for everything that occurred thereafter.

~

DIRECTORATE REPORT:

I hereby report that it is unbecoming and unprofessional for a Lead Engineer, major Directorate shareholder and Administrator in control of the ANNET database, to believe in "super-heroes that walk among humans", "Search-engine-self-awareness" and other nonsense.
ANNET is just a neural interface and search database and not "a living, thinking entity", which Dr Gromov fondly calls "my girl, ANNIE" in the emails.
Subject Seven is not a "super-hero who is going to save the world from certain doom". If anything Seven is a bumbling moron who will soon break something if you keep giving out complex machinery, like candy. Have you bothered to check Seven's IQ? Why did you even bother giving a test subject the rank of Captain and access to the databanks including all 3rd level facilities? Was that really necessary?
Have you even seen the footage, why does everyone let Seven carry a cup full of hot tea around electronics?
I sincerely hope that my report reaches you before my transfer to the "Dead Zone tourism industry" branch, because I can no longer tolerate staying here and reading the junk that comes through my desk from Dr Gromov's ridiculous experiments about "stopping gravity", "confusing the universe" and "bending time".

Sincerely,
Charles Snippy

Justice4243

The journal entries in deviant art are definitely worth a perusal and drop some more hints:

http://alexiuss.deviantart.com/journal/?catpath=/&offset=15

"The green eyed man-child-robot was responsible for getting me into the fish somehow... aided by the purple eyed girl?"

Imipolex G

It occurs to me that one reason I've found the Captain amusing is that I've assumed him/her to be male, thereby making "feminine" behaviors (like the ones TMA linked above) seem funny. Having the Captain turn out to actually be female might be disappointing.

There's something interesting about this. To me.

Justice4243

There definitely was some joy in trying to figure out who the girl might be. 

It's nice to know more about our cast, on the other hand, it's a little sad we can no longer speculate whose under the masks of Sniper and Engineer.