Have you stopped beating your wife?

Justice4243 · 2012-02-15 18:34:40

NEVER!

Viani · 2012-02-15 18:36:28

I'm sorry I didn't buy you a ring for you finger, but I can make one for you with my bear hands.

Idler · 2012-02-15 18:36:43

Yeah, but I started beating yours.

...I am so sorry Friday.

lee4hmz · 2012-02-15 18:39:07

Groaner about "wifey" being a certain part of the male anatomy.

Vriska · 2012-02-15 18:41:07

I didn't even know I had a wife!

Obā-san · 2012-02-15 18:42:47

Mu.

Haven · 2012-02-15 18:44:33

LeighSabio · 2012-02-15 18:55:19

I'm female, and a masochist, but unmarried. So I hope I don't marry someone who stops beating their wife. (Except if she safewords).

Beholder · 2012-02-15 18:56:47

I never had a wife in the first place. So, technically, no

Justice4243 · 2012-02-15 19:01:37

^ WIFE BEATER!

King_Friday · 2012-02-15 19:10:51

Justice is my wife. He frequently walks into doors.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-15 19:13:06

It's going to be really embarrassing when I try to explain how you fell down some stairs in our single story home.

King_Friday · 2012-02-15 19:18:23

Don't make me hit you with my ring finger I love you.

Beholder · 2012-02-15 19:18:56

You mean I am a piece of clothing?

Mr. Darcy · 2012-02-15 19:24:36

^^^ Lucky me, I just bought a house with stairs.

^ Yes. wears

Gelzo · 2012-02-15 19:53:37

My last class had a guest lecturer who was Chinese, and he mentioned that one of the people he was talking about "had bit his wife many times" and they ended up divorcing because she couldn't stand it.

I thought this was a weird form of abuse, but I guess I could accept that as grounds for divorce. Then I realized he was really saying "beat" instead of "bit", I just missed it at first because of his accent.

Mr. Darcy · 2012-02-15 20:43:31

^ He bet his wife many times.

Obā-san · 2012-02-15 21:10:24

Heads or tails?

Bunny · 2012-02-15 22:54:01

Heads!

Obā-san · 2012-02-15 22:58:43

Very well then....

>:3

Bunny · 2012-02-15 23:02:49

But I'm not your wife!

I'm not even your husband!

Salix Babylonika · 2012-02-15 23:35:23

I have a wife that I could beat?

News to me.

Unknown · 2012-02-15 23:37:13

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Imipolex G · 2012-02-15 23:41:00

BUT I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED

unless she has real big ones

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-15 23:41:15

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house! With a beautiful wife!

And you may ask yourself: "Well, how did I get here?"

Salix Babylonika · 2012-02-15 23:43:02

And then I will answer "it matters not, so long as we be happy."

Then I will embrace my wife, and we will make out.

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-15 23:54:03

Darn it no

LETTING THE DAYS GO BY, LET THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN!

LETTING THE DAYS GO BY, WATER FLOWING UNDERGROUND!

INTO THE BLUE AGAIN, AFTER THE MONEY'S GONE!

ONCE IN A LIFETIME! LET THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN!

Imipolex G · 2012-02-16 00:07:27

I find it weird how Seamus seems to really like that song.

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-16 00:12:16

I really really like it.

Imipolex G · 2012-02-16 00:16:06

It just seems a little different from Sodom and Annihilator and all that.

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-16 00:20:59

Well I am a big metal fan, as well as a dedicated enthusiast of the heavy metal genre, but I also like a lot of New Wave (Oingo Boingo especially) and other stuff. Like Talking Heads.

Imipolex G · 2012-02-16 00:31:35

Well that's cool.

-beats imaginary wife-

Salix Babylonika · 2012-02-16 00:34:43

WHY, HONEY, WHY? ;-;

Imipolex G · 2012-02-16 00:38:29

I didn't mean it, baby. You gotta believe me

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-16 00:40:34

*Youtube embed of Nick Cave's "Loverman"*

Salix Babylonika · 2012-02-16 00:42:32

I was about to type "*cowers in the corner*", but then I realized that RPing an abused wife is something that I simply lack the depth of character for.

Imipolex G · 2012-02-16 00:44:47

And I can't imitate the type of personality to be an abuser, so we should probably just drop it.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-02-16 00:46:44

Yes.

We went to a dark place there for a minute, but we're back now, and we're okay.

Viani · 2012-02-16 00:59:28

Montana forbids me from having a wife.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-16 01:48:06

The United Kingdom atm wont let me have a wife per se yet

LeighSabio · 2012-11-30 02:22:42

Ooh, I like Once In A Lifetime. It is a good song :)

Obā-san · 2012-11-30 09:50:19

LeighSabio said:
Ooh, I like Once In A Lifetime. It is a good song :)

this

Malph · 2012-12-13 22:45:27

I don't beat her, The Door just hit her in the face.

(The Door is what I call my right fist)

Justice4243 · 2012-12-13 22:46:43

Do you call your left fist "flight of stairs"?

Unknown · 2012-12-13 23:04:02

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Imipolex G · 2012-12-13 23:04:57

it's not really that funny

well, maybe it is

Unknown · 2012-12-13 23:05:58

The user and all related content has been deleted.

splash · 2012-12-14 00:25:19

JUST LAST WEEK, IN FACT ! THANK YOU FOR ASKING JUSTICE

Eelektross · 2012-12-14 05:56:28

Fuck you, man.

Not my fault she's bad at chess.

King_Friday · 2012-12-14 10:17:07

Eelektross said:
Fuck you, man.

Not my fault she's bad at chess.

The number one cause of spousal abuse.

glennmagusharvey · 2012-12-14 13:05:48

> I didn't even know I had a wife!

There we go. That's the proper answer to this question.

Have you stopped beating your wife?

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