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If the Star Wars Holiday Special were released today...

OdradekOdradek
in General
It'd still be wretched.

I mean, you might have expected a joke about content consumers, but nope, Star Wars Holiday Special is not a good thing to anyone.

Comments

  • Obā-sanObā-san

    how dare you come into my house and insult the one good thing to come out of the star wars franchise
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I've still never seen it, all I really know about it is that the animated part was done by Nelvana back when they had artistic ambitions
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Today is Tomorrow said:

    how dare you come into my house and insult the one good thing to come out of the star wars franchise

    *extremely Basement Rapist voice* BUT IT HAD A BUDGET AND A CAST
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I've seen fragments. It's astonishingly ugly.
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    Today is Tomorrow said:

    how dare you come into my house and insult the one good thing to come out of the star wars franchise


  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Today is Tomorrow said:

    Today is Tomorrow said:

    how dare you come into my house and insult the one good thing to come out of the star wars franchise


    First off, this is Central Avenue and Anonus's house, if anyone
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    this weird obsession with being raped in a basement
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    It's a reference to the Plinkett Reviews on Red Letter Media, but let's not hop down this rabbit hole again.
  • Section42LSection42L
    edited 2015-12-15 04:21:07
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    I now consider a thread automatically trash if someone mentions Red Letter Media or John Green within it.
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png
    what about TRON Green
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    I could actually find that funny if it didn't end in an implicit or explicit insult of him.
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Tron Green Legacy was only ever okay but I will watch it a million times because Olivia Wilde and Daft Punk are in it.
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Bea Arthur, along with Wilford Brimley, should never have been in a Star Wars movie, but they are both the best parts of the movies they are in
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    MachSpeed said:

    Tron Green Legacy was only ever okay but I will watch it a million times because Olivia Wilde and Daft Punk are in it.

    I admit I laughed at this. >_>
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I do notice people don't really go into detail on the Holiday Special. Nobody really talks about its best or worst moments, or anything, though there must be a listicle about it somewhere
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    I will do so tomorrow if you want
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    yay
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    That would be a good way to salvage this thread.
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    I do notice people don't really go into detail on the Holiday Special. Nobody really talks about its best or worst moments, or anything, though there must be a listicle about it somewhere

    HERE: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/starwars-holiday/default.php
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    1. It's really off-putting and ugly, and not in an interesting way. The first Star Wars had ugly aliens, but they were impressive enough that it didn't just become unpleasant instead of fascinating. Chewbacca's father Itchy is a big offender.

    2. There are way too many comedy segments, none of which are funny, and all of which go on for too long. The only remotely tolerable one involves Bea Arthur, who appears to be the only one in the special to remotely give a shit about what she's doing. It's not funny, but it is watchable.

    3. No one gives a shit except Bea Arthur. Harrison Ford doesn't want to be here, Carrie Fisher doesn't want to be here, and Mark Hamill was in a bad car crash shortly before production and REALLY doesn't want to be here.

    4. It is boring as fuck, and annoying as well, which kills it deader than anything.
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Also Art Carney buys Chewbacca's dad porn, and it's fucking gross.
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    6. STIR WHIP STIR WHIP WHIP WHIP STIR
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    7. If the thing were much shorter, say 0:30 or even 1:00, they could have pulled it off. Someone (mostly likely an exec at CBS) wanted this padded for time badly.
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    8. Jefferson Starship is in it, and Jefferson Starship/Starship is an inherently depressing band to think about because of how far they fell from their heights as Jefferson Airplane. Only Chicago has a more depressing band history to contemplate.
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    To be fair, there were far worse synthy soft-rock acts, and by that point only Grace Slick was still around, insofar as I can tell.
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    Slick was out of the band at that time, but Marty Balin and Paul Katner were still in.
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png
    Section42L said:

    8. Jefferson Starship is in it, and Jefferson Starship/Starship is an inherently depressing band to think about because of how far they fell from their heights as Jefferson Airplane. Only Chicago has a more depressing band history to contemplate.

    I ever tell you guys that my mom is like

    a legitimate Chicago stan

    she owns, I think, all of their records. Like every single one.
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    I think you've said that before, but it is still baffling to realize.
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Section42L said:

    Slick was out of the band at that time, but Marty Balin and Paul Katner were still in.


    So we're talking about Jefferson Starship rather than Starship.

    Honestly, that's really not even Jefferson Airplane to begin with. It's Kantner's solo album band that happened to have a bunch of Airplane members early on and became an actual group at some point. Really, the mess of JA-related projects that emerged before and after the band collapsed is such an astounding snarl that saying any of it's a "continuation" is disingenuous to say the least, and most of it's kind of derpy anyway.
  • Section42LSection42L
    edited 2015-12-15 23:28:07
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    Sredni Vashtar said:

    Section42L said:

    Slick was out of the band at that time, but Marty Balin and Paul Katner were still in.


    So we're talking about Jefferson Starship rather than Starship.

    Honestly, that's really not even Jefferson Airplane to begin with. It's Kantner's solo album band that happened to have a bunch of Airplane members early on and became an actual group at some point. Really, the mess of JA-related projects that emerged before and after the band collapsed is such an astounding snarl that saying any of it's a "continuation" is disingenuous to say the least, and most of it's kind of derpy anyway.
    I've heard that Kantner's first solo album actually isn't bad at all. I'll have to listen to it sometime.

    Either way, by that point, that collective had sunk into MOR hell and things were only going to get worse for them, so it doesn’t really change my point.
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Yeah, I think it won a Hugo.

    Also, I find it weird that Grace Slick had just left around the time the Special was made, but came back a few years later and was essentially the one noteworthy thing about Starship later on.
  • Section42LSection42L
    edited 2015-12-15 23:30:17
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    She at least had enough smarts to retire before the situation got too depressing.
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    8.gif

    Someone out there thought American needed to watch this atrocity get sexually aroused.
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