I read three issues of Reader's Digest today

never have I been so thoroughly depressed by the mere act of reading

Comments

  • My dreams exceed my real life
    What is actually in an issue of Reader's Digest
  • lots of jokes about how Teens Are So Wacky, and people who just fucking like

    really really

    really really

    loathe computers, as an idea, but have no idea how they work.

    also ableism
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Ah.
  • actual joke:

    "dear, I don't think you have to knock before you hit Enter"
  • Jane said:

    actual joke:


    "dear, I don't think you have to knock before you hit Enter"
    (*spams the damn som where'd you find this sample*)
  • Like that was the whole thing!

    They have a section called Virtual Hilarity that is just terrible, terrible computer jokes, that was the best one. Most of the others aren't even puns or are like so:

    A man walks into a hardware store and asks if they have a copy of Windows 98 For Dummies

    "No sir we don't, but we do have The Complete Idiot's Guide To Windows 98"

    the man groans: "'complete idiot' is way over my head!!"

    --

    to be clear I did not make that one up either, I'm paraphrasing, and yes they really used Windows 98 and a book on how to use it as the basis of a joke. In 2015.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    That's not even an original joke
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I stopped reading Readers Digest at about 12 or so, finding it suddenly beneath me
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    You were reading it until midnight? That was only like half an hour ago...
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    you know what I meant
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Peter Paltridge once said that Disney Adventures was like it without the fogey medical stories
  • but Disney Adventures had comics, and was therefore superior
    kid gravity ftw
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    I think Disney Adventures' comic section had a lot of influence on my taste in comics. At the very least, it introduced me to Bone, for which I am grateful.
  • Know your lines? Of course you know your lines! But I don't want to just hear your lines...I wanna hear what's in YOUR SOULS!!
    Nickelodeon Magazine was good
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    i just had the Beano, occasionally the Dandy

    they weren't as glossy as magazines for kids that were based on cartoons or TV channels, but they were much cheaper
  • Zeether said:

    Nickelodeon Magazine was good


    It was. They apparently brought it back from the dead recently, which is interesting to me considering that the whole reason it was discontinued was the whole "print is dying" thing
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    It might be dying but it's still making money

    Why do you think Media General wants to buy Meredith?
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