ITT: We are all household objects and furniture

Comments

• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 12:34:01

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  *is a toilet*
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 12:36:36

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  *would feel sorry for Imi, but since we're all household stuff, unless somebody ignores the thread title he'll never be used so...*
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 12:40:04

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  *does nothing, except be a toilet*
  
• Haven

  2012-03-06 12:46:49

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  *is a clock*
  
  *hangs on the wall, inanimately*
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 12:48:02

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Someone get Haven some batteries or something. His hands ain't movin'
  
• Idler

  2012-03-06 13:11:47

  -is spilled upon-
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 14:04:31

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  Poor Haven. He died too soon :<
  
• Idler

  2012-03-06 14:16:47

  -is cleaned-
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 14:43:09

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 14:52:04

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^^ I would say just go in the dishwasher (if you're a dish), but we all know that she's just a huge slut who wants all of us inside her >:|
  
  ^ 8D SPINNY!
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 14:52:53

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  *flushes mysteriously*
  
  poltergeist?
  
• Misery

  2012-03-06 14:54:19

  The sadness will last forever.

  -is a dishwasher-
  
  What?
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 15:31:10

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^ I'm not dishwasher safe
  
• ProfessorGator

  2012-03-06 15:33:45

  Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."

  (is an oven)

  
  

  Anyone want some cake? Oh, wait...
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 15:34:26

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  *more toast pops out of me*
  
  ...The hell? Nobody put bread in me...
  
  ;.;
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 15:42:41

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 16:02:04

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  You can decapitate people though!
• Misery

  2012-03-06 16:03:39

  The sadness will last forever.

  -washing the dishes-
  
  This sucks. Why couldn't I be the fridge?
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 16:03:40 edited 2012-03-06 16:03:54

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  *gets plugged up*
  
  ^you think YOU have it bad
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 16:05:03

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^^ You could have been a vibrator. Getting laid would be your job then :P
• Viani

  2012-03-06 16:36:52

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  -is an electric chair-
  
• Haven

  2012-03-06 16:40:22

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  *yearns for batteries*
• Misery

  2012-03-06 16:40:59

  The sadness will last forever.

  -still washing the dishes-
  
  Boring!!
  
• ProfessorGator

  2012-03-06 16:46:32

  Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."

  (makes pizzas for no particular reason)
• Misery

  2012-03-06 16:51:00

  The sadness will last forever.

  Oh god, this place is cursed and we're all meant to do the same tasks forever!
  
  NNNNNOOOO!!
  
  D:
  
• Haven

  2012-03-06 16:53:26

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  *would curse the heavens for this cruel fate, but is inanimate*
• ProfessorGator

  2012-03-06 16:56:03

  Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."

  (would scream but has no mouth)

  
  

  (instead makes oatmeal cookies to take my mind off things)
• Haven

  2012-03-06 16:57:34

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  Of course, if I had batteries I could express just how ticked off I am.
• Misery

  2012-03-06 16:58:24

  The sadness will last forever.

  Yay puns!
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 17:17:54

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-06 17:41:52

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  It's the BIG HOUSE
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 18:15:04

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ...Wait, how are we even talking?
  
  Who the fuck gives a TOASTER self awareness yet no freedom!?
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 21:28:32

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• ProfessorGator

  2012-03-06 21:36:16

  Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."

  Maybe it's like that curse from Beauty and the Beast, except with electricity and internal plumbing.
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 21:39:00

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Icalasari

  2012-03-06 23:52:36

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  Hmm... *Tries that. Ends up getting my cord tied around squid's blades and hangs there* ...
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-06 23:56:26

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Haven

  2012-03-06 23:58:39

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  *would question how a ceiling fan blushes, but is inanimate*
• Misery

  2012-03-06 23:59:27

  The sadness will last forever.

  O_O
• Icalasari

  2012-03-07 00:14:23

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^ Oh hush you. At least I didn't end up flying into you. Now THAT would be awkward!
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-07 00:16:09

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Viani

  2012-03-07 00:17:43

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  -continues to be a chair-
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-07 00:23:34

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ...Ok, NOW it's awkward, Morbid
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-07 00:29:04

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  *continues to be a toilet*
  
• Icalasari

  2012-03-07 00:30:13

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^ Why be a toilet? Why not be a chair? Or a sink? Or maybe even a fishbowl!?
  
  Expand your horizons, man!
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-07 00:31:33

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  It is my destiny.
  
  I may serve a lowly purpose, but just try living without me.
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-07 00:35:23

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  *is the computer*
• Icalasari

  2012-03-07 00:37:14

  ⊗¯\_(ツ)_/¯⊗

  ^^ Eh, I've been in enough outhouses that I can handle the smell
  
  ^ Oh shit. You have my browsing history D:
  
• Viani

  2012-03-07 00:37:51

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  -is a floor heater that you stick your butt on in the morning to warm up-
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-07 00:39:26

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  *looks through Icalasari's browsing history*

  oh....oh god....with a pig? On a stage?! ICALASARI YOU SICK BASTARD.