ITT: We go for a ride in a minivan because why not

Princess Alice · 2014-05-30 21:38:59

Hop in, guys! I'll put on the Spice Girls. ^_^

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-30 21:40:47

*hops in with monies for pizza and tacos and hamburgers and ice cream so we can all gain lots of weight* :D

Imipolex G · 2014-05-30 21:54:00

*tickles chubby!Miko*

Princess Alice · 2014-05-30 21:54:40

but if we gain too much weight we'll pop the tires and we'll be stranded in...where the hell are we, anyway?

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-30 21:57:31

Imipolex G said:
*tickles chubby!Miko*

eep! >w<

Anonus · 2014-05-30 21:58:39

What kind of minivan is this?

Princess Alice · 2014-05-30 21:59:53

(I pictured a second-generation Plymouth Grand Voyager or Dodge Grand Caravan, but whatever you wanna picture is fine too)

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-30 22:03:02

A 1960s-era hippy van where can smoke weed!! :D

lee4hmz · 2014-05-30 22:03:50

Central Avenue said:
(I pictured a second-generation Plymouth Grand Voyager or Dodge Grand Caravan, but whatever you wanna picture is fine too)

Same here. XD

Anonus · 2014-05-30 22:08:14

You can smoke weed in a CHRYSLER too

Obā-san · 2014-05-30 22:18:46

Anonus said:
What kind of minivan is this?

minivans are indistinguishable vaguely boxy aerodynamic blobs and i cannot find any sort of significant differences between them

to tell the truth the reason i've never learned to drive is because i find cars wretchedly ugly in addition to being really expensive.

ProfessorGator · 2014-05-30 22:24:22

Central Avenue said:
but if we gain too much weight we'll pop the tires and we'll be stranded in...where the hell are we, anyway?

Butt-nowhere, Georgia. Near Vidalia.

But hey, on the plus side, if we get stranded, we can burn off calories with kickball on the side of the highway! The drivers passing by will love it :P

Calica · 2014-05-30 22:25:44

vidalia onions

ProfessorGator · 2014-05-30 22:29:10

There weren't that many onions last time I was there. Lots of cotton though. And a Zaxby's.

Calica · 2014-05-30 22:33:42

i've had zaxby's before

ProfessorGator · 2014-05-30 22:41:17

Ah. How did you like it?

Personally, I like their chicken nuggets for grown-ups, erm I mean boneless wings, and their chicken strips. Not a huge fan of the weird salad dressing you're supposed to dip them in though. I just dip everything in the ranch sauce and ignore the other one.

Calica · 2014-05-30 23:03:55

they were okay I guess

glennmagusharvey · 2014-05-30 23:04:09

Is this a van that I can stand up in?

I remember thinking they were really cool when I was a kid. I once wished I had more siblings so that we'd have a reason for owning such a cool van.

Hexartes · 2014-05-30 23:13:33

My friend Brady has a minivan and every day after school we'd go to the parking lot and rock the fuck out in his van because he put the seats down. We would have, like, twenty people show up every day. It was bizarre.

glennmagusharvey · 2014-05-30 23:14:28

I think it's called a Vandura.

It looked big and comfy.

Imipolex G · 2014-05-30 23:16:32

There was one kind of minivan that existed when I was a kid that I thought looked really cool, but I have no idea what it was.

YNTKT

Princess Alice · 2014-05-30 23:17:07

A Vandura doesn't really qualify as a minivan, per se...but I guess we can expand this to vans in general

Hexartes · 2014-05-30 23:20:23

Also where the hell are we going I passed out like an hour ago and now we're in a bunch of fields

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-31 01:43:31

*is still unconscious from eating too much*

Obā-san · 2014-05-31 01:46:17

(*takes picture of miko, traces it in MS Paint, replacing her head with Balto's, and posts the fine MSPArt to DA with a large Do Not Steal watermark*)

Princess Alice · 2014-05-31 01:48:38

*focuses on the road, since this is getting too weird*

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:51:11

Yon Assassin said:
(*takes picture of miko, traces it in MS Paint, replacing her head with Balto's, and posts the fine MSPArt to DA with a large Do Not Steal watermark*)

Sounds like a plan!

Justice4243 · 2014-05-31 02:30:57

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 02:39:07

what a great nap where the hell are we and why am I in a minivan

Imipolex G · 2014-05-31 02:46:37

you're in hell's minivan but there is a way out

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 02:49:19

Manly McMacho said:
what a great nap where the hell are we and why am I in a minivan

Oh, shit...

*reapplies chloroform*

SLEEP.

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 02:54:07

haha suck it dick I worked up an immunity

*chloroforms sredni*

Obā-san · 2014-05-31 02:55:47

My beau is not for chloroforming!

he is fragile and tender!

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 02:57:50

And I already switched out your chloroform with cheap perfume. Anticipation is everything.

Eat curare, bitch!

*injects with cardiac sedatives*

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 03:00:13

*voids bladder / bowel on sredni while dying*

Imipolex G · 2014-05-31 03:01:15

well, that escalated quickly

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 03:02:13

(all because of sredni's thinly veiled desire to fuck my corpse tsk tsk)

Imipolex G · 2014-05-31 03:03:41

and that's terrible

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 03:05:20

I have no interest in violating your lifeless body! I already have a perfectly good live person over here if I need that sort of entertainment!

I just wanted to, you know, perform a few experiments while you were out. You didn't need your pancreas, after all...

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 03:06:00

(we all know you're lying now stop talking to a dead body dumbass you're weirding everyone out)

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 03:15:39

Then stop using dead chick telepathy on me before I make you into Soylent Green! Fucking creepy zombie smart alecks...

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 03:21:02

(HA I was right you so want to eat me ;3)

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 03:22:29

No, just feed you to strangers.

Anyway, I gotta go do other questionable van things. We'll talk later, Corpsey McDeadbitch.

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 03:28:10

(Pussy. What, afraid of getting your hands dirty like the prissy bitch that you are? Go ahead, cut right into me, decorate the van with my organs like I know you want to then shove a shovel in me you sick fuck <3 <3 <3)

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 03:58:26

...are you hitting on me?

I shall have you know that I may be a murderous lunatic, but I am nothing if not a faithful and monogamous dominant.

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 04:00:24

(I remind you that you're who drugged me and stuffed me in a minivan after kidnapping, gagging, binding and molesting me. No need to lie to me, I know the real you and I accept it, now hurry up and tear me apart big boy <3)

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 04:20:02

(I know you tried so hard to cover your story but I know it. You kept seeing her around town, walking around in those skimpy outfits, showing her filthy body like some streetwalker. How that fucking whore had the nerve to reject you still eludes you, but it doesn't matter now, does it?)

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 04:20:09

(Oh how your rage would bubble over seeing her flaunting herself like
that, the vain cunt. You knew that whatever you did, you'd get even.
You'd make that slut pay for being the depraved piece of shit that
everyone knew she was. It's not like anyone would miss her, you knew she
had family problems and her friends were as vapid and shallow as her,
they'd forget about her within a week.)

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 04:20:13

(And now, you've gotten your
wish. She's so much more useful in death than she ever was alive, so
much more accommodating and far less mouthy. You wonder why it took you
this long, but it doesn't matter now, nothing does now that you've
gotten your prize. The look of horror permanently affixed to her face
will facility many a boner in the future, her death will not have been
in vain. Thank you, Corpsey McDeadbitch.)

Imipolex G · 2014-05-31 11:25:25

can we stop listening to the Spice Girls now

Princess Alice · 2014-05-31 11:54:24

Oh, fine

YOU pick the radio station, Imi

ITT: We go for a ride in a minivan because why not

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