I saw a bat today

Viani · 2011-10-25 04:41:09

And I hated the fuck out of it.

No seriously. I have never hated an animal more in my life than I ever had in the entire lifespan of my magical girlfriend bullshit life-c-span2.

It was a tiny bat, and it was flying around, and I was like "What is a bat doing in this house? Oh my, are you a vampire?"

And it came to me, what if this bat is actually a vampire? Does it wish to seduce me? To run his fingers along my hair after he transforms into a beautiful man? Perhaps it's a vampiress, who wants to nibble on my neck and drag her long seductive red dress along my floor while pacing around me, whispering into my ears?

I tried to catch the bat but it kept flying away, making ultrasonic smeerks at me, and I was like "cmon my vampire lover, reveal yourself to me"

but it never did, and it escaped out of my window, leaving me all alone, without a vampire to do sexual things to me.

Confound these god damn bats. They drive me to wish that vampires would be sexually interested in me.

Tanya · 2011-10-25 06:17:33

Anonus · 2011-10-25 17:50:47

...I don't think vampires actually exist, Tnophelia.

Viani · 2011-10-25 17:56:13

Yes, they do. I know a girl at work who is cheating on her boyfriend with one.

I'm not sure what KIND of vampire he is, but I know he is one.

Tnu1138 · 2011-10-26 00:08:28

How do you divide vampires Vorpy? What's your Taxonomy for the different types?

Viani · 2011-10-26 00:55:25

Moroi, Strigoi, Transylvanian, LaVeyan, Christian, Yakshi, Yara-ma-yha-who, Varcolac, Vetala, Tlahuelpuchi, Tsi-noo, Sigbin, Soucouyant, Strix, Strzyga, Rabisu, Penanggalan, Peuchen, Plakavac, Pontianak, Obayifo, and theres a ton of others I will not list because I have a schedule.

Tnu1138 · 2011-10-26 00:59:17

You seem, quite well acquainted with vampire folklore. I recognize the Strigoin and the Moroi. The Varcolac also rigns a bell. But what of the Russian Upir?

Viani · 2011-10-26 01:00:23

I haven't read about that one yet.

Tnu1138 · 2011-10-26 01:02:09

I've recently been looking in to it. it seems to be connected to the first mention of vampires in written fiction and one of hte possible root words for vampire. Though your knowledge certainly seems ot excede my own I'm not as well versed in the folkloric vampires as much as the old literary vampires admittedly.

Justice4243 · 2011-10-28 05:09:28

I think bats are pretty cool.

Granted, none that I've ever come across attempted to eat me or a loved one. It might sour my opinion on them if they had...

Heapy · 2011-10-31 22:11:47

I've met a vampire before, no lie.

She was cute, but mean.

Unknown · 2011-11-01 03:07:49

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I saw a bat today

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