Ruin a wedding in six words or less.

Comments

• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 01:26:44

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  The bridesmaid stole the antidote
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 01:27:41

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  The bride is actually a lampstand
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 01:28:44 edited 2015-01-28 01:28:51

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Wait, I don't remember doing pre-nup
• Aliroz

  2015-01-28 01:33:05 edited 2015-01-28 01:36:30

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Anyways, from the old "ruin an X in X letters or less" of the past, the always good "MEASLES KID LICKED* THE -noun-".  Indispensable to the modern twelve-year-old in the ruining game.
  
  (there's a twitter thing, "ruin a wedding in five words", but the time-passing game came first; as attested by many middle school bus rides).
  
  *TOUCHED/CARRIED/HAS/FOUND/GRABBED also work, but Licked is both the most common, and arguably the funniest.
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 02:46:41

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Laxatives have been implanted, Doctor Doom
• Calica

  2015-01-28 05:39:55

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  But it was actually me, Dio!
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-01-28 05:49:20

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  You May Now Kiss The Corpse
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 05:58:17

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Crashing this wedding with no survivors
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-28 05:59:35

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Your bachelor party had a hooker?!
• Corvina

  2015-01-28 08:07:24

  Vampire Lady of Corvidia
  
  (The other Jane)
  

  Aliroz said:

  
  
  Who here answers to "Edmond Dantes"?
  
  
  

  Ha! Gave me my first real laugh in a while
  
• Haven

  2015-01-28 08:11:36

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  Never gonna give you up.
• One-Winged Eagle

  2015-01-28 08:19:39

  Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.

  That's five, Haven.
• One-Winged Eagle

  2015-01-28 08:20:12

  Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.

  Poor groom's bride is a whore.
• eriophora zia

  2015-01-28 08:20:56

  I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god

   It's six words or less, so five should be fine. 
• eriophora zia

  2015-01-28 08:21:31

  I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god

  It really only takes one word. 

  
  

  "Do you take x to be your lawfully wedded x?"

  
  

  "lolno."
• Bee

  2015-01-28 09:09:18

  "Hang on, bridesmaid's sexting me."
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2015-01-28 09:16:46

  <Timpkins> YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER
  
• Haven

  2015-01-28 11:02:50

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  MachSpeed said:

  That's five, Haven.

  I just gotta make you understand.
• Aliroz

  2015-01-28 23:37:14

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  The reason why it isn't "six words or fewer" is that the grammatically incorrect form is the one commonly used by goofoffs and bored children.
• Hexartes

  2015-01-28 23:54:53 edited 2015-01-28 23:55:06

  "So, he's marrying his side girls too?"
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-01-29 00:20:56

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  That's 7, Kex
• glennmagusharvey

  2015-01-29 00:23:16

  Take out the "so".
• buttercrispy

  2015-01-29 07:08:48

  "the officiant is also on fire"
• Haven

  2015-01-29 07:11:51

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  Well, they did grant you a wedding license.
• Fossilmaiden

  2015-01-29 07:16:05

  Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
  

  I OBJECT!
  
  (Hey, someone had to go for the obvious.)
• Alduin

  2015-01-29 13:38:07

  Corvidium said:

  
  

  Aliroz said:

  
  
  Who here answers to "Edmond Dantes"?
  
  
  

  Ha! Gave me my first real laugh in a while
  

  Is it wrong that I thought of Edmond Dantes the troper first
• Calica

  2015-01-29 14:01:18

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  yes