Washington, D.C.: The Second of Four Acts

ACT II:

The monster trucks' unholy reign of terror has lasted two years now. Two whole years of being denied my most beautiful dream of being onstage, cheered on and adored by my audience. I had to kill these motherfucking monster trucks. Guns wouldn't work on them. Neither would knives or arrows or bombs. They had to have their engines ripped out. Alas I was lacking in the physical skill to sneak up on the trucks and end their lives without them even knowing it. I had to seek Guru Motorcide. But I'm not sure if Guru Motorcide even exists. Why would he call himself that in this world if he did exist? That would be quite foolish.

I had to become Guru Motorcide. No one else was brave enough to do so. Except I think I might call myself "Guru Shelby" instead. Shelby is my name. I had neglected to tell you this before now.

How does one sneak up on a despotic monster truck? How does one sneak up on FOUR despotic monster trucks? No one had ever done it before. So I had to pioneer the art. I was going to start with the one who, obviously, represents the element of Earth. It seems stupid enough not to catch me in the act.

I headed to Earth's office, somewhere in Australia. Yes, Australia is within walking distance of my house. One of the only good things the monster trucks did was bring us the future. This particular bit of the future will make the cut when we de-apocalypse it. I didn't tell you that I was going to take over the world in the trucks' stead, but now you know.

I hopped over the fence guarding Earth's mansion, and somewhat clumsily climbed into one of the windows. The guards have seen me. Time to unleash some whoopass on them!

I threw a punch at one of the guards. He grabbed my fist and twisted it around. Ow! This wouldn't be happening if those damn trucks hadn't banned theater!

ACT III COMING SOON