Dave's Food Place

edited 2012-02-14 21:07:50 in General
Welcome to Dave's Food Place, where low prices probably aren't imaginary!

You can get right to shopping, but first you have a choice to make: Which of our departments do you want to visit?

GROCERY
PARANORMAL
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Comments

  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Then grab a cart and get to shoppin'!

    We have a special this week on Books of Incredibly Unusual And Probably Rather Dangerous Spells! Only at Dave's Food Place!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Paranormal food, eh
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Do you keep the Necronomicon in stock?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^^ Yep! And we're the only store in the Capital City area that sells it!

    ^ Aisle 14.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Gwa ha ha. Now I can summon the Old Ones to defeat the menace of Comic Sans.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Would you like to sign up for a Dave's Food Place Super Mega Doubleplusgood Discount Card?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Doubleplusgood?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Old Man Dave didn't have the best marketing team, you see.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    WAR IS PEACE

    FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

    IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

    KETCHUP IS IN AISLE 6
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    We'll haul you over to Miniluv
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I take it you don't want the discount card, then.

    Fine, pay full price.

    ...What are you buying, again?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    everything
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    In that case, have a coupon for $2 off a case of Faygo!

    Whoops, I mean, uh, Paranormal Faygo!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    What happens if I drink it?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    That's a good question, but alas, not one I am at liberty to answer at this time.

    Thank you for shopping Dave's Food Place.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    CLEANUP IN AISLE 12
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    you're trying to distract me so you can sneak merchandise into the restrooms

    aren't you
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    are the restrooms eldritch too
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    only a little

    usually on fridays
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Are there any public restrooms that aren't eldritch?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Now now, here at Dave's Food Place, we pride ourselves on clean restrooms!

    At least, we did until our janitor mysteriously disappeared while cleaning the ladies' room last Friday.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    All of Ken’s clothes fit him!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...we never did find out who Dave was, did we?
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    It's a mystery.

    It suits him...like Ken's clothing.
  • What happens if I drink it?

    You turn into a Juggalo.

    And then all of Ken's clothes fit you.

  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    A ghostly Juggalo? Or just a Juggalo.

    There is no Juggalo Ken doll real or fake on the internet. ;_;
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    bump
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Excuse me, miss, would you be able to direct me to the correct aisle for people solvents? I have been finding them difficult to procure by conventional means...
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