I wonder if I should be a lawyer?

Comments

• Tachyon

  2013-09-21 20:48:23

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  do you like the ace attorney games
  
  this is important
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-21 20:49:37 edited 2013-09-21 20:49:50

  Never played them.  I do know a number of Phoenix Wrong memes though.
  
• Viani

  2013-09-21 20:49:50

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  You'll have to learn dark politics first. New lawyers are set up to fail quite a lot in the judicial system to defend people that the high majority of anyone else in the room believe is guilty, and trying to be analytically just in those kinds of cases tends to set you up for failure.
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-21 20:50:35 edited 2013-09-21 20:50:59

  I thought, for cases where you unequivocally know that your client is guilty, you're supposed to try your best to get them the lightest sentence possible.
  
  Or get the case thrown out on a technicality.
  
• Viani

  2013-09-21 20:50:37 edited 2013-09-21 20:50:50

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  In other words, if you get to know some senators or politicians, and "bail them out" on certain crimes, you'll be able to earn enough lawyer cred to work on more important cases.
  
  ^ that too.
  
• Tanya

  2013-09-21 20:53:31

  Pizza Dog

  You don't want a criminal lawyer, you want a 'criminal' lawyer.
  
  
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-21 20:56:21 edited 2013-09-21 20:56:31

  I think the order of preference of criminal trial result, for the defendant, goes:
  
  proven innocent > judged innocent > technically innocent > mistrial > fine or community service > shorter prison time > longer prison time > life sentence > death penalty
  
  At least, this is what I know from watching too much Law & Order.
  
• Tanya

  2013-09-21 20:58:21

  Pizza Dog

  Life ain't like the T.V.
  
  Most people plead guilty.
  
  
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-21 21:04:36

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
  
  ...
  
  ...
  
  a good start.
  
• Viani

  2013-09-21 21:07:27

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  shut the fuck up donny
  
• Tanya

  2013-09-21 21:08:25

  Pizza Dog

  Pillows said:

  what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
  

  Cthulhu's friends.
  
• Viani

  2013-09-21 21:09:42

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  Counterclock said:

  Pillows said:

  what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
  

  Cthulhu's friends.
  

  the pelagic firm.
  
  BAW HAW HAW
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-21 21:10:33

  Viani wins
  
  punality
  
• Bee

  2013-09-21 21:28:30 edited 2013-09-21 21:33:38

  Wooooooow.  I'm not sure whether to love you or hate you for that pun.  -_-
  
  

  Life ain't like the T.V.
  
  Most people plead guilty.

  In many cases, whether or not they're guilty.  About 20% of exonerated inmates outright confessed to a crime they didn't commit, and there's not really any way of telling how many took a plea bargain.
  
  It doesn't help that public defense lawyers tend to be hideously overworked, underpaid, and constantly at their wits' end.