Summarize long novels in under ten words

Comments

• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-19 19:16:05

  The Great Gatsby
  
  Some rich people do a lot of nothing.
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-19 19:17:10 edited 2013-09-19 19:17:40

  The Scarlet Letter
  
  Attempts serious recounting of colonies' first experience with sex scandal.
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-19 19:17:36 edited 2013-09-19 19:18:18

  Catch-22
  
  Documented results of treating war as shitposting
  
• Obā-san

  2013-09-19 19:18:41

  
  

  But neither of those three are long
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-19 19:19:20

  Lord of the Flies
  
  The perils of survivalism without social skills
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-19 19:20:15

  > But neither of those three are long
  
  If I were to print them out with 11-point Calibri font in one-inch margin letter-size pages they would last more than twenty pages.  Therefore they are long.
  
• Bee

  2013-09-19 20:49:38

  Don Quixote
  
  The first sitcom
  
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-19 22:04:36 edited 2013-09-19 22:05:08

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Gravity's Rainbow
  
  Phallic rockets fall and everyone has hallucinations
  
  Illuminatus!
  
  Everything is a conspiracy against everything else, including itself
  
• Alduin

  2013-09-20 08:39:34

  Atlas Shrugged

  
  

  Bioshock.
• Fossilmaiden

  2013-09-20 08:45:20

  Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
  

  Sabriel
  
  Girl falls in love with boat figurehead. Also zombies.
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2013-09-20 09:13:05

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Slaughterhouse-5: Man captured in Germany, hallucinates, travels.
• Mr. Darcy

  2013-09-20 14:57:57

  "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens

  Lord of the Rings

  Midgets must go hiking to destroy jewelry.
• Bee

  2013-09-20 15:21:52

  Acererak said:

  Atlas Shrugged

  
  

  Bioshock.

  Bullshit.  Bioshock is at least a decent story.
  
• Aliroz

  2013-09-20 15:25:04

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Finnegan's Wake
  
  sast habbrit coojomin echolo
  
• Alduin

  2013-09-21 13:28:52

  Bee said:

  Acererak said:

  Atlas Shrugged

  
  

  Bioshock.

  Bullshit.  Bioshock is at least a decent story.
  

  Yeah, and Andrew Ryan is more likable than John Galt.
• Beholder

  2013-09-21 13:40:24 edited 2013-09-21 13:41:22

  The Fountainhead:
  
  Capitalism sucks, says Ayn Rand. Also Dominique needs therapy
  
• Justice4243

  2013-09-21 15:16:33

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  A Clockwork Orange:

  
  

  A maladjusted malcontent decides that quiet family life is best.
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-21 15:30:44

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  ^only if you include that useless last chapter
  
• Justice4243

  2013-09-21 15:57:17 edited 2013-09-21 15:57:30

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  I like the last chapter, I think it makes the message of the story more poignant. 
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-21 16:01:32

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  I have finally met someone who likes the last chapter!
  
• Hexartes

  2013-09-21 16:05:50

  War and Peace (so far)

  
  

  Rich people have parties. Rostov is astoundingly gay.
• Tachyon

  2013-09-21 16:18:12

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
  
  A magnificent cathedral, then time passes; society's to blame.
  
  House of Leaves
  
  A guy dies, leaving weird metafictional notes.
  
  Gulliver's Travels
  
  People everywhere suck, horses are cool though.
• Bee

  2013-09-21 17:09:39

  If the Houyhnhmn were that awesome they'd pick a name that was easier to fucking spell.
  
• Mr. Darcy

  2013-09-21 17:13:06

  "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens

  ^ "Ponies"
• Bee

  2013-09-21 17:23:26 edited 2013-09-21 17:26:32

  Ponyfic is quite inundated enough with misanthropic horsecrap about how humans are EVIL except my totally good self-insert, thanks.
  
  
  
  
  
  Because I sat down to read it again,
  
  The Master and Margarita
  
  People are fucked up but love is still worth it.
  
• Mr. Darcy

  2013-09-21 17:46:21

  "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens

  Bee said:

  The Master and Margarita
  
  People are fucked up but love is still worth it.
  

  Stalinism is bad due to bureaucracy. Look, demon cat!
• Bee

  2013-09-21 17:52:29

  WHO ELSE BUT BEHEMOTH  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• MetaFour

  2013-09-21 18:00:11 edited 2013-09-21 18:15:26

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  Crime and Punishment

  
  

  Lonely intellectual is a bad criminal. Being ubermensch is overrated.
• Tachyon

  2013-09-21 18:06:09

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  Harry Potter
  
  Mass murderer repeatedly fails to kill one boy.
  
• Bee

  2013-09-21 18:12:18

  Redwall
  
  Adorable woodland creatures violently dismember each other.
  
• MetaFour

  2013-09-21 18:13:07

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  The Idiot

  
  

  "Love will save us all"? No.

  
  

  VALIS

  
  

  We're still in Roman Empire. God-satellite told me.
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-21 18:21:12 edited 2013-09-21 18:21:44

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Gormenghast
  
  I'mma describe every inch of this big old castle.
  
  Nineteen Eighty-Four
  
  Don't fuck with Big Brother
  
• Justice4243

  2013-09-21 18:30:40

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  Ponyfic is quite inundated enough with misanthropic horsecrap about how humans are EVIL except my totally good self-insert, thanks.
  
  
  
  
  
  

  GIVE ME YOUR FIMFICTION NAME!
• Bee

  2013-09-21 19:19:36

  NEVAR
  
  i is ninja bee
  
• Justice4243

  2013-09-21 19:25:00

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  YOUR NAME NETS ME NOTHING BUT NARUTO CROSSOVER STORIES. 
• Bee

  2013-09-21 19:51:55 edited 2013-09-21 19:53:07

  Seriously?  XD
  
  EDIT: Oh, you actually searched for "Ninja Bee".  That's kind of hilarious.
  
  I haven't written anything.
  
• Viani

  2013-09-21 21:12:50

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  Requiem for a Dream
  What do you mean it was based on a book?
  
• Justice4243

  2013-09-21 22:08:56

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  Bee said:

  Seriously?  XD
  
  EDIT: Oh, you actually searched for "Ninja Bee".  That's kind of hilarious.
  
  I haven't written anything.
  

  FAIR ENOUGH!
  
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-22 00:15:13

  FAIR ENOUGH!
  

  And from that day forward, festivities were banned at the Heapers' Hangout.
  
• Beholder

  2013-09-22 09:16:20

  Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell
  
  Faeries know not of sense and sensibility
• Hexartes

  2013-09-22 12:36:43

  Bee said:

  Redwall
  
  Adorable woodland creatures violently dismember each other.
  

  Animals invade Redwall. Others leave Redwall. Rinse and repeat.
• Fossilmaiden

  2013-09-22 13:44:10

  Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
  

  Tachyon said:

  Harry Potter
  
  Mass murderer repeatedly fails to kill one boy.
  

  Harry Potter
  
  The fall and rise and fall of a lich.
  
  American Gods
  
  Sometimes Wednesdays are just terrible.
  
• Previous Calica

  2013-09-22 14:11:27

  (flower path)

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  
  

  Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.
• Hexartes

  2013-09-22 21:49:47

  spinor said:

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  
  

  Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.

  Can anyone, though?
• Aliroz

  2013-09-22 23:25:34

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Kexruct said:

  spinor said:

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  
  

  Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.

  Can anyone, though?

  I can.
  
  I love Thursday!
  
  
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-22 23:39:52

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  The Man Who Was Thursday
  
  Absolutely nobody is who they seem to be
  
• Sredni Vashtar

  2013-09-24 04:28:24

  “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”

  The Name Of The Rose: "I wanted to kill a monk."

  
  

  Foucault's Pendulum: IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

  
  

  New Grub Street: Being Hack Writer is suffering.

  
  

  Shogun: JAPAN.
• lee4hmz

  2013-09-24 11:59:37

  ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS

  Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator: Wonka meets the Squiddles!
• Bee

  2013-09-24 14:51:41

  The Iliad
  
  Achilles prolongs war over petty squabble, still considered hero.
  
• Tachyon

  2013-09-24 14:55:35

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  that's not a novel! </nitpick>
  
  :p