Things we'd like to tell the NSA

Comments

• Bee

  2013-09-12 00:03:10 edited 2013-09-12 00:15:34

  Dear NSA,
  
  Please tell the people who make crime procedurals how computers actually work, and that shooting the monitor doesn't stop the box from doing stuff.
  
  Your fellow creepily-drawn Pokemon,
  Bee
  
• Viani

  2013-09-12 00:05:41

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  Dear NSA,
  
  I would like to let you know I was the one who burned down Isaac Hemsley's house in Chicago on June 1998. I also fled the scene of the crime and hit a passerby in my Toyota 4Runner. I also have looked up cartoon porn of Winx Club, Monster High and of Animesque Avril Lavigne. I was responsible for stealing and killing 13 cats in the Hastings County region of Southern Nebraska. I also support hate crimes, steal from various charities, including FAFSA funds and 1.3 million dollars of tax payer's money during the Cherokee Per Capita distribution, and am secretly a murderous racist/rapist, and am not to be taken seriously due to being a compulsive liar. The triple homicide that will occur in June 2014 was not done by me.
  
  Also I am not going to place a RFNA nitrite-bomb on the third floor of the New York Stock Exchange at 4:00 pm
  
  Your Fellow American,
  Kyra Lawrence (Viani)
  
• Imipolex G

  2013-09-12 00:19:35

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Dear NSA,
  
  do a barrel roll
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2013-09-12 00:56:56

  Dear NSA,
  
  I am currently wearing a shirt with the text "I'm Healthy and I know it" on the front, despite the fact that I have a runny nose and a sore throat, and am totally out of shape anyway.  I will be wearing this shirt in public tomorrow.