The Courtroom of the Heapers' Hangout

[Deleted User] · 2013-07-17 20:22:23

All rise for The Honorable Judge Her Royal Highness, Princess Avenue of Centralia.

Princess Alice · 2013-07-17 20:22:43

Thank you, Bailiff. You may be seated.

Who comes before the court today?

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 20:31:01

Miss Centie! Miss Centie! I demand the right to exist! Arthur vs. Yarrun! Arthur vs. Yarrun!

Shut up, Arthur!

Princess Alice · 2013-07-17 20:44:33

Order, order!

Mr. Arthur, what is your complaint?

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 20:56:52

I'm Arthur's mother.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 21:36:29

You are not! I'm not even sure if I have a mother!

Your honor, please excuse this interruption. As Arthur Fetchman does not, technically, exist, he should not be given the time of--

A lot of things in this world are important despite not existing. I want the right to legalize my time on this plane of existence! And I'm suing Yarrun for obstructing that right!

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 21:46:30

I am not really his mother but I wanted to have a child... :(

Imipolex G · 2013-07-17 21:47:31

Perhaps you can adopt him?

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 21:47:51

:D

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 21:52:14

...I can't, in good conscience, let you take care of Arthur. He's not exactly the easiest fragment of insanity to deal with.

Oh yeah! Then I'm suing for self-custody!

Aw hell no.

I'm 18! I should be able to do what I want!

No, I'm 18. You're 7 years old and just happen to exist in an 18-year-old mind.

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 22:00:24

I'm infertile and a little insane. :x

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 22:31:44

You know, you could just marry Yarrun and have joint custody!

Again with this? I thought we were done with the incessant shipping.

Ah. Well. It's too much fun to stop!

It wouldn't work anyways. I'd have to have legal custody of you in the first place, which I don't--

So I have self-custody! Ha!

Stop twisting my words!

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 22:35:03

Your honor, please marry me to Yarrun. :) Even if I divorce him I get to keep the baby because I am clearly the better choice!

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 22:40:46

See, this is why I never let you out of the head. You do all sorts of terrible things when you're out of the head.

Pfffffft

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 22:45:04

So you're saying that you wouldn't want to be married to Miko?

Oh no you don't. I know this schtick. You pick at my decisions and try and trick me into doing a dorky flirting thing. Not going to work this time!

Oh, you'll fall for it. You always fall for it.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 22:45:23

The temptation to don prosecutorial robes and adopt a particular typing quirk is terribly strong...

Imipolex G · 2013-07-17 22:46:52

I declare Yarrun not guilty by reason of insanity

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 22:50:02

I brought along this wedding gown and everything. u_u *unbuttons trench coat to reveal a long, flowy gown*

Imipolex G · 2013-07-17 22:56:17

:O

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 23:14:31

But...I wasn't even on trial for crimes. This is a civil suit.

...Arthur, put down that gray bodypaint! And get away from that chalk!

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 23:17:10

*exits, pulling ko along as well* whatever :x

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 23:24:19

*a strange change overtakes Sredni Vashtar's demeanour...*

OBJ3CT1ON!

4RTHUR, YOU W1LL H4ND M3 TH4T CH4LK TH1S 1NST4NT!

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 23:28:00

*has just barely missed an opportunity for Homestuck roleplay fun but is now at Wendy's with ko so who even cares*

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 23:28:29

OBJECT1ON!

4N 1MPOST3R 1S T4K1NG MY PL4C3!

Oh no.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 23:31:19

LY1NG SCUM! YOUR 3 SUBST1TUT1ON 1S 1NCONS1ST3NT! 1 D3M4ND TH4T TH1S 1MPUD3NT 1MPOSTOR B3 H3LD 1N CONT3MPT!

Imipolex G · 2013-07-17 23:32:05

*eats a Frosty*

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-17 23:33:41

:D

*eats a yummy salad and a small vanilla frosty*

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 23:34:57

W3LL, YOUR F4444444C3!

Arthur.

YOUR STUP1D F4444444444444C3!

Arthur, I beg of you.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 23:39:20

*B34TS 1MPOSTOR 1NTO SUBM1SS1ON W1TH C4N3; SN4TCH3S CH4LK FROM GRUBBY H4NDS*

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 23:42:32

See, Arthur. Your hatred of order only causes pain to those around you.

Who cares. I got his wallet! And it has pictures!

Of course it does.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 23:45:30

*CONT1NU3S TO 4BOUT-F4C3 4RTHUR, R3TR13V1NG W4LL3T 4ND PHOTOGR4PHS*

TH1S W4LL3T 1SN'T 3V3N M1N3!

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-17 23:51:39

Oh, right, that's the other wallet. I made it out of those tiny wrappers on Starbursts candy. Of course, Starbursts taste terrible, so I picked them out of people's trash cans over the course of a week. You may want to wash that.

Man, you and that vacation.

Yeah, it was awesome.

Imipolex G · 2013-07-17 23:56:30

OBJECTION! Starbursts are pretty good, actually

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-17 23:59:21

4T L34ST TH3 R3D ON3S 4R3...

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-18 00:16:08

WHAT THE GRUBBING FUCK ARE YOU MORONS DOING? EVERY ASSHOLE IN THIS COURTROOM, AND EVERY FUCKING COURTROOM IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING GALAXY, CAN SEE JUST HOW CHITINOUS MEMBRANE-THIN YOUR HOMOEROTIC LARPING BULLSHIT IS. SCRUB THAT GRAY DIRT OFF YOUR FILTHY SKINS AND TAKE OFF THOSE CHEAP DOLLAR STORE SHADES--YOU KNOW WHAT, NO, JUST THROW THEM OUT. THEY AREN'T EVEN WORTH THE EFFORT IT WOULD TAKE TO SNAP THEM IN HALF AND KICK THEM UNDER THE TABLE. PUT THE FUCKING CANDY CORN BACK IN THE GOD DAMN CANDY JAR, ASSHOLE. YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE. I BET THE REAL TEREZI (WHICH IS NONE OF YOU FUCKTARDS) BARELY GETS ANY SLEEP AT NIGHT, KNOWING ABOUT THE MILLIONS OF GREASY, SWEATY EARTH CREEPS JERKING THEMSELVES OFF INSIDE THEIR PYRALSPITE COSPLAYS EVERY COURT RECESS.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 00:27:01

D --> I take e%ception to that! If my aim were homoeroticism, my dear Miko, the choice would be obvious!

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 01:13:50

Hey, Equius never used punctuation!

That's what you're worried about?

I demand equal representation of cosplayer's flaws!

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 01:17:01

Nor would Equius take on the role of court prosecutor, Arthur. I was simply illustrating a point.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 01:27:52

Ugh, but you guys are breaking characteeeeeer

And that's totally Miko in a Karkat sweater.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 01:29:45

Of course it is. Which is why I referred to her thusly.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 01:36:46

Man, I can't work with these conditions. He's too level-headed

>Implying that you get paid for this.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 01:45:41

Trust me, I could do one worse and start dragging my own—

I would prefer that you did not.

*...*

You've gone ahead with it anyway, haven't you?

Yes. I'm afraid so.

How very unfortunate. And in a legal setting, to whit. Alas.

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-07-18 07:09:04

And that's totally Miko in a Karkat sweater.

...WELL, YOUR STUPID DUMBFUCK MAMMALIAN FACE WITH HUMAN PORES ALL OVER IT!

*runs away crying*

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 07:16:36

That was a peculiar outburst.

Miko is a peculiar young lady.

Indeed.

lee4hmz · 2013-07-18 11:35:06

Dirty Pillows said:
OBJECTION! Starbursts are pretty good, actually

Sustained! *hits self in head with gavel*

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 11:50:16

And Lee is DOWN for the COUNT!

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 12:46:52

Quick! Check his pockets! You too, Garamond Text Fellow!

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 12:56:42

*produces cruel-looking hunting knife*

Theft from the injured is terribly impolitic.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 13:03:25

So's keeping a fellow from purchasing his next meal.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-07-18 13:39:11

You presume that I should permit you the ability to eat?

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-18 13:44:31

You presume that I should permit you the right to stop me?

The Courtroom of the Heapers' Hangout

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories