ITT: You are a shmup!
First you must choose a character! Would you like to be:
-Anonus, the agile attacker who invests in options like his subsidies, and takes down bosses like his corporate competitors!
-Central Avenue, the steady princess homing-shot-user with strong spirit attacks that pave whole roads of love!
-Imipolex G, the glass cannon who draws his immense shot power and intellectual precision from many decades of postmodern reading!
-Jumpingzombie, the unusual attacker who can manipulate time and space, and relies on versatile option attacks.
Next we must select the main story, because our current score is 0 and nothing is unlocked yet. What difficulty do we play on? We can choose:
-Sane Mode, for those who have jobs and families.
-Baby Mode, for skilled shmup addicts and too much free time!
-Easy Mode, for masochistic insomniac lunatics.
-Regular Mode, for those who have lost everything in life, and who have sacrificed many hundreds of hours and can play with machine-like pixel-to-frame accuracy! :D
-Arcade Mode, for cheaters, TAS runs, and punishing those who can win Regular Mode. :)
Have you chosen your difficulty? Is it Regular Mode?
-No? Too bad, you will only get to play halfway through before the mid-boss mocks you for sucking too much. Go back and choose Regular Mode!
-Yes? Good! You understand! :D
Next we will begin playing the game. Recall that your hitbox is one pixel, and that the spaces between the bullets are sometimes one pixel in length. :3 Good luck!!!!!!
Who is the first boss? :)
-Anonus, the agile attacker who invests in options like his subsidies, and takes down bosses like his corporate competitors!
-Central Avenue, the steady princess homing-shot-user with strong spirit attacks that pave whole roads of love!
-Imipolex G, the glass cannon who draws his immense shot power and intellectual precision from many decades of postmodern reading!
-Jumpingzombie, the unusual attacker who can manipulate time and space, and relies on versatile option attacks.
Next we must select the main story, because our current score is 0 and nothing is unlocked yet. What difficulty do we play on? We can choose:
-Sane Mode, for those who have jobs and families.
-Baby Mode, for skilled shmup addicts and too much free time!
-Easy Mode, for masochistic insomniac lunatics.
-Regular Mode, for those who have lost everything in life, and who have sacrificed many hundreds of hours and can play with machine-like pixel-to-frame accuracy! :D
-Arcade Mode, for cheaters, TAS runs, and punishing those who can win Regular Mode. :)
Have you chosen your difficulty? Is it Regular Mode?
-No? Too bad, you will only get to play halfway through before the mid-boss mocks you for sucking too much. Go back and choose Regular Mode!
-Yes? Good! You understand! :D
Next we will begin playing the game. Recall that your hitbox is one pixel, and that the spaces between the bullets are sometimes one pixel in length. :3 Good luck!!!!!!
Who is the first boss? :)
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Comments
FINAL SCORE: 00000000000000000000000000000413
the Extra Level, featuring the mysterious Psychedelic Squid. Be prepared for a 40-minute time investment and twice as many hours of free time. ;D Simply clear the game in Arcade Mode!
the Super Duper Extra Level, featuring the elusive Kool Aid Man. Shmup masochists, I have only one descriptor for this one: OH, YEAH!!! Unfortunately, you must defeat the Extra level seven times with each character to unlock it, plus clear the game on all five difficulties with a score greater than 80 septillion.
the Wonderful Mode, in which all your fabulous magical dreams come true. <3 How to unlock? It is a mystery! Here is a hint: if you aren't TAS-ing, you're doing it wrong. :3
Boss Rush Mode: for those who wish to defeat all seventeen bosses with one single life. :)
Bonus Mode: if you graze 19,000,000 bullets and score 40 trillion points in a single stage, you can fight a Psychedelic Squidspawn and attempt to earn back a life. :D
Fixed that for ya
-fails miserably at dodging danmaku-
(fill in the blank)