Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
Carlin was an atheist but he wasn't the contentious type like r/atheism is
r/atheism is pretty much The Ballad of the Brave Atheist, all of the time. So give Carlin just a little credit here
Also I just found said ballad, bonus:
So, yesterday morning, I drove to THEIR church for this retreat. The first several hours consisted of sitting around in an all-purpose room and doing silly activites and icebreakers. There were only about 15-20 people there (ages 16-50 probably), but try as I did, I could not connect with them. I pretended to be religious, but it seemed as though their religion was all that there was to these people. While I was having my lunch of Cool Ranch Doritos (the only good part of this whole thing!), it dawned on me that I can connect better to atheists because they (we :)) are deeper people. We don't have this crap religion to fill all the voids in our personality, so we make up for it with actual purpose and being interesting. I wiped the Cool Ranch crumbs out of my beard, and, for the first time in 20 years, felt happy at church because of this realization.
Right before the end of the retreat, we had one last activity. We passed around a big plastic ball, and whoever was holding it had to talk about what he/she learned at the retreat. People spewed all this bullshit about love and Jesus and strength, and eventually the ball made its way to me. I had tied my Geoxes tight in preparation for this moment. I stood up, gently pushed the ball away, and said, "I'm sorry, but I can no longer go on like this. I am an atheist -- a proud, intelligent, skeptical atheist. Sitting around here today and hearing all of the nonsense flow from each of your mouths has shown me that I need to start living the life I want to live. I can no longer live this charade. I am an atheist, and as much as you think you love this imaginary sky magician, your children or grandchildren will be atheists once logic reigns supreme and Christianity is wiped out. Thank you and good day, sirs."
Just as I was about to walk away, some big guy grabbed the ball and threw it right at my face. Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me. The woman next to me then reached out and clawed at my neck, but I spun as I was standing up and I think my ponytail whipped into her eyes because she fell back. I heard angry shouts and people coming after me as I ran into the kitchen. I saw the ball sitting on the floor and one of the stove burners still on. Knowing science, I grabbed the ball and put it on top of the burners, and as the angry mob of "good Christians" filled the kitchen, the ball popped with a gunshot-like noise long enough to daze them. I was a bit high on adrenaline at the moment, so I pumped my fist in the air and shouted "Science always wins!" before I ran out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and out the door to my car. I popped in a Megadeth CD and floored it (left some tiremarks in their parking lot) and here I am now, in a strip mall parking lot on my laptop.
I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50% rate.
Honestly I'm surprised you like him Corporal, he seems like exactly the sort of dude you'd hate.
I value the writings and words with a lot of people I don't agree with on certain matters, like Randi and Penn and Teller and even Dawkins. These guys are in it for the truth of the matter, that's their only agenda. I think Carlin falls in along those lines.
Carlin was an atheist but he wasn't the contentious type like r/atheism is
r/atheism is pretty much The Ballad of the Brave Atheist, all of the time. So give Carlin just a little credit here
Also I just found said ballad, bonus:
So, yesterday morning, I drove to THEIR church for this retreat. The first several hours consisted of sitting around in an all-purpose room and doing silly activites and icebreakers. There were only about 15-20 people there (ages 16-50 probably), but try as I did, I could not connect with them. I pretended to be religious, but it seemed as though their religion was all that there was to these people. While I was having my lunch of Cool Ranch Doritos (the only good part of this whole thing!), it dawned on me that I can connect better to atheists because they (we :)) are deeper people. We don't have this crap religion to fill all the voids in our personality, so we make up for it with actual purpose and being interesting. I wiped the Cool Ranch crumbs out of my beard, and, for the first time in 20 years, felt happy at church because of this realization.
Right before the end of the retreat, we had one last activity. We passed around a big plastic ball, and whoever was holding it had to talk about what he/she learned at the retreat. People spewed all this bullshit about love and Jesus and strength, and eventually the ball made its way to me. I had tied my Geoxes tight in preparation for this moment. I stood up, gently pushed the ball away, and said, "I'm sorry, but I can no longer go on like this. I am an atheist -- a proud, intelligent, skeptical atheist. Sitting around here today and hearing all of the nonsense flow from each of your mouths has shown me that I need to start living the life I want to live. I can no longer live this charade. I am an atheist, and as much as you think you love this imaginary sky magician, your children or grandchildren will be atheists once logic reigns supreme and Christianity is wiped out. Thank you and good day, sirs."
Just as I was about to walk away, some big guy grabbed the ball and threw it right at my face. Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me. The woman next to me then reached out and clawed at my neck, but I spun as I was standing up and I think my ponytail whipped into her eyes because she fell back. I heard angry shouts and people coming after me as I ran into the kitchen. I saw the ball sitting on the floor and one of the stove burners still on. Knowing science, I grabbed the ball and put it on top of the burners, and as the angry mob of "good Christians" filled the kitchen, the ball popped with a gunshot-like noise long enough to daze them. I was a bit high on adrenaline at the moment, so I pumped my fist in the air and shouted "Science always wins!" before I ran out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and out the door to my car. I popped in a Megadeth CD and floored it (left some tiremarks in their parking lot) and here I am now, in a strip mall parking lot on my laptop.
TL;DR
"So someone douchebag Christians make me go to their douchebag church and I took their food because Darwin knows I deserve it and then they took me on a trip and they were enjoying themselves but ugh these people don't understand logic so when they were passing a ball around talking about how much they (dude I'm not even exaggerating here) loved Jesus and each other I screamed at them and called them idiots. That'll teach 'em. Science be praised!"
"So someone douchebag Christians make me go to their douchebag church and I took their food because Darwin knows I deserve it and then they took me on a trip and they were enjoying themselves but ugh these people don't understand logic so when they were passing a ball around talking about how much they (dude I'm not even exaggerating here) loved Jesus and each other I screamed at them and called them idiots. That'll teach 'em. Science be praised!"
I remember when I saw that story.
There's another paragraph where he claims that the angry church mob has alerted his parents, and that he was learning martial arts over the internet so he can get back to his house without getting clubbed to death.
Didn't know it was satire at first. Eventually figured that it was satire. Angry mob formation seemed unusual, especially since they had already eaten. Have you tried to be angry and full at the same time? Doesn't work.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
"Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me."
This didn't tip anyone off? Mugen is basically just a 2D-customize-able fighting game...
"Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me."
This didn't tip anyone off? Mugen is basically just a 2D-customize-able fighting game...
I tend to assume the worst when it comes to Internet people.
"Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me."
This didn't tip anyone off? Mugen is basically just a 2D-customize-able fighting game...
I, for one, am completely skilled in fighting do to playing hours of Mortal Kombat. Why, I can chop a man in half by spinning around while wearing a bladed hat.
"Hours and hours of MUGEN have honed my reflexes pretty well, so I was able to roll to the side and dodge the ball as flew into the kitchen doorway behind me."
This didn't tip anyone off? Mugen is basically just a 2D-customize-able fighting game...
I was younger then. Younger, more defensive about Christianity, and less jaded.
Comments
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
There's another paragraph where he claims that the angry church mob has alerted his parents, and that he was learning martial arts over the internet so he can get back to his house without getting clubbed to death.
Didn't know it was satire at first. Eventually figured that it was satire. Angry mob formation seemed unusual, especially since they had already eaten. Have you tried to be angry and full at the same time? Doesn't work.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead