(and yes, they should be just as lame as the originals)
Now here's Rainbow Dash with Vital Information for your everyday life!
A pegasus changing the weather after breakfast is performing her civic duty. A pegasus changing the weather after six mugs of Applejack's cider is causing lots of insurance claims.
When you meet Iron Will, it's not a good idea to say "Haha, you pansy! I could whoop your butt in a Manehattan minute!"
If you upset Princess Celestia, she might send you to the moon. If you upset Pinkie pie, she'll moon you!
This has been Rainbow Dash with Vital Information!
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