Page topper wins~

Imipolex G · 2012-07-19 12:36:01

GRIND

Imipolex G · 2012-07-19 12:36:12

whoomp, there it is

Justice4243 · 2012-07-19 12:37:19

yep, you win PRIDE (use it wisely).

Imipolex G · 2012-07-19 12:38:47

great is the power of my spam.

Justice4243 · 2012-07-21 11:35:26

THIS IS MY FORA, BITCHES!

POST, POST, POST!

Boney · 2012-07-21 11:48:18

Obā-san · 2012-07-21 11:56:02

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 17:37:55

VERTIGO SUPER TEAM MASH-UP.

ISSUE #1: SWAMP THING TEAMS UP WITH JESUS AND THE PHANTOM STRANGER TO FIGHT LUCIFER.

ISSUE #2 SWAMP THING, JESUS, AND THE PHANTOM STRANGER APOLOGIZE TO LUCIFER AND HELP FIXE HIS SWANKY NIGHTCLUB AFTER THE MISUNDERSTANDING.

ISSUE #3: SWAMP THING, JESUS, THE PHANTOM STRANGER, AND LUCIFER CRANK CALL CONSTANTINE FOR THE LOLS. THEN THEY ALL GET HIGH ON SWAMP YAMS AND GRAFFITI ETRIGAN'S HOUSE.

ISSUE #4: THE DREAM LORD LEFT THE DREAM DOORS UNLOCKED AND EVERYONE SHOWS UP AND THROWS A PARTY. THE DREAM LORD IS STRANGELY OK WITH THIS.

ISSUE #5: SWAMP THING TURNS DESTINY'S LABYRINTH INTO A SINGLE LINE WITH HIS PLANT POWERS. SOME THINGS ABOUT DETERMINISM ARE SAID, MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, DESTINY IS PISSED AND THEN CONSTANTINE SPILLS HIS BEER ALL OVER DESTINY'S ROBES AND EVERYONE GETS KICKED OUT. EVERYONE WONDERS HOW DESTINY DIDN'T SEE ANY OF THIS COMING.

ISSUE #6: VERTIGO HOT SPRINGS SPECIAL. TEFE FIGHTS AN ANACONDA, IN WHAT IS PROBABLY A CONFUSED METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING.

ISSUE #7: ETRIGAN HAS LOST HIS CAR KEYS AND NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO HIS RHYME-SHIT LONG ENOUGH TO HELP HIM.

ISSUE #8: ANIMAL MAN CAN'T STOP BURYING SHIT HE FINDS, INCLUDING CAR KEYS (DUN DUN DUN!)

ISSUE #9: JESSE CUSTER GETS MADE FUN OF FOR NOT BEING PART OF CONTINUITY. HE TRIES TO USE THE WORD OF GOD ON PEOPLE BUT GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY MR E. THEN THE SAINT OF KILLERS SHOWS UP AND EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT WHAT A JERK CUSTER IS. HERR STAR COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD AND GETS HIS ASS STUCK IN A CONVECTION OVEN.

ISSUE #10: SPIDER JERUSALEM GETS MADE FUN OF FOR NOT BEING PART OF CONTINUITY, BUT PEOPLE LIKE HIS GONZO STYLE, SO HE GETS INVITED TO HELP MAKE FUN OF JESSE. CASSIDY IS DOING WELL AND IS NOW PRESIDENT OF PREACHER LAND.

ISSUE 11: TIM HUNTER BEATS UP HARRY POTTER. DOCTOR OCCULT TAKES BETS.

ISSUE 12:
ZARTANNA AND DOCTOR FATE MAGIC DANCE OFF.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 17:39:44

ISSUE 13: DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY. NO REALLY! SHE IS SICK OF THIS SHIT AND, I DON'T KNOW, LUCIFER IS IN CHARGE.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 17:55:14

ISSUE 14: IT'S A SAD DAY WHEN TEFE GETS T-BONED BY A DRUNK DRIVER, BUT SHE'S LIKE A MAGIC GREEN ELEMENTAL FAIRY OR SOME SHIT SO IT'S NOT LIKE THIS COULD REASONABLY HURT HER AND THE PHANTOM STRANGER EXPLAINS THAT DRUNK DRIVING IS BAD TO THE DRIVER AND HE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO REFLECT ON HIS ACTIONS IN HELL FOR FOREVER.

ISSUE 15: RAMIEL AND DUMA HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS DRUNK GUY WHO THE PHANTOM STRANGER LEFT. ALSO THE PHANTOM STRANGER'S NEIGHBOR, LAND LORD, AND SOME BANK TELLER THE PHANTOM STRANGER THOUGHT WAS RUDE. RAMIEL WONDERS WHY NO ONE LIKES HIM AND DUMA IS QUIET THE ENTIRE TIME.

ISSUE 16: NECROPOLIS SLUMBER PARTY WITH SPECIAL GUEST STAR MORPHEUS.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 17:59:19

ISSUE 17: I'M THE SPECTOR. I'M THE SPECTOR. SUCK MY DIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!! I'M THE SPECTOR.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:04:42

ISSUE 18: JESUS RIDES A DRAGON AND HAS MAGICAL ADVENTURES IN FAR AWAY LANDS WITH NAMES THAT HAVE TOO MANY "W"S AND "Y"S AND STUFF. SOMEHOW ETRIGAN STILL HAS NO TROUBLE RHYMING EVERYTHING HE SAYS.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:10:31

ISSUE 19: MR E AND DESTINY MAKE A PSA ABOUT BLINDNESS, IRONICALLY BLIND TO THE FACT THAT SOMEHOW THIS APPARENTLY HAS ALMOST NO IMPACT ON THEIR ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING.

ISSUE #20: CONSTANTINE WEARS A "NO FAT CHICKS" SHIRT AND DESPAIR IS PRETTY DISTRAUGHT OVER IT. SHE TRIES TO WINE TO DESIRE ABOUT IT BUT DESIRE GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM BY LUCIFER AND HAS TO LISTEN TO HER FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:13:10

ISSUE #21: THE DEVIL'S HAM SANDWICH. WHO ATE IT?! SERIOUSLY, IT WAS IN A BAG WITH MY NAME ON IT AND EVERYTHING! WHAT KIND OF UNHOLY MONSTER STEALS FOOD FROM THE BREAK ROOM FRIDGE?!

ISSUE #22: THE FIRST OF THE FALLEN GETS RAN OVER BY LUCIFER'S LAMBORGHINI DIABLO. LUCIFER IS NOT SORRY.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:24:18

ISSUE #23: SWAMP THING KEEPS SINGING "MY HUMPS" BY THE BLACK EYED PEAS. IT'S SO ANNOYING AND OFF-PUTTING HE IS THREATENED WITH BEING SENT TO HELL IF HE DOESN'T STOP. HE DOESN'T.

ISSUE #24: HELL IS SUDDENLY TOO FAR GREAT OF AN ETERNAL PUNISHMENT. RAMIEL AND DUMA HAVE TO CREATE NEW HELL.

ISSUE #25: 25 ISSUES, LIKE, OMG! PARTY AT DESIRES. EVERYONE IS INVITED. EXCEPT JESSE, BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY. HERR STAR STILL HAS A CONVECTION OVEN STUCK ON HIS ASS.

ISSUE #26: ANIMAL MAN MAKES FUN OF AQUA MAN BECAUSE HE CAN DO MORE THAN JUST TALK TO FISH.

ISSUE #27: ANIMAL MAN HAS TO UNDERGO A MAJOR OPERATION OF GETTING A GIANT HOOKED HAND REPLACEMENT REMOVED FROM HIS ABDOMEN.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:31:45

ISSUE #28: ASS-CONVECTION OVENS ARE IN. HERR STAR HAILED AS FASHION GENIUS AND BEGINS WORLD TOUR.

ISSUE #29: SWAMP THING VS THE FLYING LAWN MOWERS.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:33:54

ISSUE #30: A DEVIL IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT. IT TURNS OUT KING ARTHUR IS NOT A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:46:24

ISSUE #31: MORGAN LA FEY GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT. LOCKING PEOPLE IN CLOSETS WITH DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN BECOMES THE NEW PREFERRED METHOD OF DEALING WITH VILLAINS.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:47:56

ISSUE #32: CAIN AND ABLE YARD SALE. MOST OF THE ITEMS ARE ABLE'S INTERNAL ORGANS. THEY MAKE A MINT ANYWAY.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 18:57:10

ISSUE #33: IT'S BACKWARDS DAY. ZARTANNA HAS TO SPEAK HER SPELLS FORWARD. THE FIRST OF THE FALLEN GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH BACKWARDS SPEAKING DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT. ETRIGAN STILL MANAGES TO RHYME THE ENTIRE TIME.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 19:14:50

ISSUE #34: IT'S HOB GADLING, MOTHER FUCKERS! HE HAS A BUCKET LIST THE SIZE OF WYOMING AND ALL THE TIME IN THE UNIVERSE TO GET IT DONE. HE STARTS BY PUNCHING LUCIFER IN THE FACE THEN GETTING HIGH ON MAGIC SWAMP YAMS.

ISSUE #35: HOB GADLING GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT.

ISSUE #36: MIRROR UNIVERSE. EVERYONE HAS GOATEES IN MIRROR UNIVERSE. PEOPLE WHO ALREADY HAD GOATEES GET MIRROR VERSIONS, WITH A SECOND EVILER GOATEE.

ISSUE #37: MIRROR DELIRIUM AND ENTRIGAN GET LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ENTRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT.

ISSUE #38:MR E BUILD THE BIGGEST CLOSET ANYONE HAS EVEN SEEN (EXCEPT MR E, HE'S BLIND, HA HA HA). IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT.

ISSUE #39: EVERYONE GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ENTRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT. EXCEPT JESSE, WHO LETS THEM OUT, BUT MILKS IT FOR ALL IT'S WORTH IN THE MEANTIME.

ISSUE #40: EVERYONE IS GRATEFUL TO JESSE FOR LETTING THEM OUT OF THE CLOSET. AND THEN HE GETS LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 19:24:00

ISSUE #41: SPIDER JERUSALEM AND CONSTANTINE MAGIC DRUG OFF.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 19:37:05

ISSUE 42: PAPERWORK EXTRAVAGANZA! LUCIFER HAS TO RENEW HIS LIQUORS LICENSE.

KJI · 2012-08-06 19:40:51

i lose

Spacey · 2012-08-06 20:10:57

there is dissent among the masses

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 22:53:26

ISSUE 43: FREAKY FRIDAY! SWAMP THING AND LUCIFER CHANGE PLACES! IT TURNS OUT SWAMP THING HAS NO BUSINESS RUNNING A NIGHT CLUB AND LUCIFER REALLY DOESN'T LIKE HIPPIES

ISSUE 44:
ZARTANNA AND CONSTANTINE GET REALLY HIGH AND STEAL VEGETABLES FROM OLD MAN SWAMP THINGS GARDEN.

ISSUE 45: ZARTANNA AND CONSTANTINE GET REALLY HIGH AND STEAL VEGETABLES FROM OLD MAN SWAMP THINGS GARDEN IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

ISSUE #46: JESUS'S DRAGON HAS TO BE TAKEN TO THE DRAGON VET WHEN TIMOTHY HUNTER SUMMONS TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE FOR IT TO EAT.

ISSUE 47: SATAN GAVE ME A TACO. LUCIFER OPENS ANOTHER NIGHT CLUB. THIS ONE IS MEXICAN THEMED AND A FIXER UPPER. CAN HE CLEAN IT UP BEFORE THE HEALTH INSPECTOR ARRIVES?

ISSUE 48: SOMEONE BRUTALLY MURDERED A HEALTH INSPECTOR. BUT THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE ANY MAGIC OR DEMONS OR SHIT, SO NO ONE REALLY GIVES A FUCK.

ISSUE 49: CONSTANTINE FORGETS ZARTANNA'S BIRTHDAY BUT SHE CAN BASICALLY MAKE WHATEVER SHE WANTS WITH MAGIC, SO THEY GET DRUNK AND GET TO MAKING MAGIC BABIES IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, WINK, WINK, NUDGE, NUDGE.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 22:58:43

ISSUE 50: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: HOW THE DEVIL SAVED CHRISTMAS. SANTA CLAUSE GETS STUCK IN A CLOSET WITH DELIRIUM AND ETRIGAN FOR 19 HOURS STRAIGHT AND IT'S UP TO LUCIFER AND MAZIKEEN TO DELIVER PRESENTS AND UP TO THE PARENTS OF ALL THESE CHILDREN TO DELIVER THERAPY.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-06 23:50:15

ISSUE 51: JASON BLOOD AND DOCTOR OCCULT USE THEIR KNOWLEDGE TO SUMMON DEMON BUTLERS. BUT WHEN EVERYONE ELSE FINDS OUT, THEY HAVE TO SUMMON ENOUGH DEMON BUTLERS FOR EVERYONE. WILL THINGS GO WRONG WITH THIS MANY DEMONS RUNNING AROUND? TURNS OUT THE ANSWER IS NO, NOTHING GOES WRONG AND EVERYONE HAS KICK ASS DEMON BUTLERS.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 19:50:59

* whistles through calluses to attract flocks of birds*

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 19:55:00

ISSUE #52: JOHN DIES AT THE BEGINNING! CONSTANTINE DIES WHILE TRYING TO DRINK THOR UNDER THE TABLE. LUCKILY, IT TURNS OUT DEATH WILL DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING IF PLIED WITH SUFFICIENT FUZZY NAVELS.

ISSUE #53: JOHN DIES AT THE BEGINNING IN SPAAAAACE! THIS IS THE SAME ISSUE AS 52, BUT WE DREW SPACE HELEMENTS OVER ALL THE CHARACTERS WITH MARKER AND PENCILED IN SOME DIALOGUE CHANGES.

ISSUE #54: VERTIGO SELLS OUT. 32 PAGES OF ADVERTISING, THE COVER IS EVEN SPONSORED BY MACINTOSH.

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 19:55:31

fun bags

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 20:22:03

ISSUE #55: JOHN DYES AT THE END! TIED DYED T-SHIRTS ARE IN, BUT CONSTANTINE REFUSES TO CHANGE HIS WARDROBE. WILL HE CAVE INTO PEER PRESSURE? DON'T READ THE TITLE OF THIS ISSUE TO BE SURPRISED BY THE STUNNING CONCLUSION.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 20:22:10

ISSUE #55: JOHN DYES AT THE END! TIED DYED T-SHIRTS ARE IN, BUT CONSTANTINE REFUSES TO CHANGE HIS WARDROBE. WILL HE CAVE INTO PEER PRESSURE? DON'T READ THE TITLE OF THIS ISSUE TO BE SURPRISED BY THE STUNNING CONCLUSION.

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 20:22:31

OH NOES, POUBLE DOST!

Justice4243 · 2012-08-10 20:25:00

His name is Gatsby. Now the book shall forever be about this giant cat, in my mind.

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 20:30:48

The Anatomy of the Body of God

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 20:36:03

the agony of Faustus, who sees Christ's blood stream in the firmament

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 20:43:25

a professional indoor Marxman

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:06:48

he sleeps with a chainsaw

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:07:04

foogoo

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:10:22

If Elvis were still alive, he'd be like 77

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:10:59

If Hitler were still alive, he'd be 123

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:11:39

owner of a lonely heart

owner of a lonely heart

much better than a

owner of a broken heart

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:13:29

They are children at the threshold of language with these words they make up

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:20:30

Well, that's Howdy Podner in German

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:22:16

B flat minor

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:24:13

tremolo

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:25:09

What is best in life?

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:25:11

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women

Imipolex G · 2012-08-10 21:25:18

Hotcha!

Page topper wins~

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