ITT we create workplace training certificates

Comments

• glennmagusharvey

  2017-07-16 23:30:31

  
  MIT
  
  This is to certify that
  
  GLENN HARVEY
  
  has successfully completed
  
  MIT Research Involving Human Subjects
  
  on
  
  June 26, 2006
  
• Princess Alice

  2017-07-16 23:32:36

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  why did the Safety Fairy sign off on this
• glennmagusharvey

  2017-07-16 23:34:58

  The above two "certificates" are, with a few minor changes (specifically my name and font style/sizes), literally the text shown on two certificates of completion that I was directed to after completing the abovenamed trainings, in preparation for some biology lab work that involved human-derived cell lines, which also happened to involve small amounts of radioactive substances.
  
  I printed them out.
  
  They are rather amusing as they don't even bother making a border for them or adding any fancy decorations such as fancier font (the originals are just in Times New Roman) or signature lines.  They consist solely of text and have no pictures.  The text is merely multiple lines of center-justified things as shown above.  Very, very barebones.
  
  Also very mutatable.
  
  

  
  BELPHEGOR UNIVERSITY
  
  This is to certify that
  
  Rayne Lindwurm
  
  has successfully completed
  
  Managing Magical Wastes
  
  on
  
  October 18, 2007
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2017-07-16 23:35:43 edited 2017-07-16 23:35:56

  Central Avenue said:

  why did the Safety Fairy sign off on this

  well, she has to, because otherwise this program of trainings can't get official approval from the higher-ups
  
• Imipolex G

  2017-07-16 23:36:08 edited 2017-07-16 23:36:19

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  UNIVERSITY OF CENTRALIA
  
  This is to certify that
  
  Imicow
  
  has successfully completed
  
  Bein' A Cow
  
  on
  
  May 25, 1994
  
• DYRE

  2017-07-16 23:39:11

  
  TOTALLY REAL UNIVERSITY
  
  This is to certify that
  
  DY RE
  
  has successfully completed
  
  Forging Official Documents
  
  on
  
  February 30, 212
  
• Princess Alice

  2017-07-16 23:42:45

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  Imipolex G said:

  THE UNIVERSITY OF CENTRALIA
  
  This is to certify that
  
  Imicow
  
  has successfully completed
  
  Bein' A Cow
  
  on
  
  May 25, 1994
  

  fixed.
• Imipolex G

  2017-07-16 23:45:26

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  to The or not to The
  
  what a silly question
  
• glennmagusharvey

  2017-07-16 23:45:59

  that is question