Let's Play Pokémon SunkernGold!
Y'all already know what Pokémon is, so let's cut to the chase.
We're a very important Pokémon trainer, we don't have time for tutorials!
Sleeping on the job? That's not very professional of you, professor.
I am the queen of originality.
See ya later! ...Much, much later.
This is our room. There are many like it, but this one is ours. Let's check the computer before we go.
Our friend let his Marill write this email. Note the use of only basic language skills.
On the way out, our mum waylays us and tells us that half the town is looking for us. She then proceeds to dump a bunch of objects, both corporeal and incorporeal on us. Well, we'd better not keep the good Professor waiting!
No time to chat, Ethan! We're on a mission of utmost importance!
Apparently Professor Elm's research is... walking? Well, if it gets us a free Pokémon, I'm all for it, I guess.
Note how he rudely reads an email in the middle of a conversation.
Finally! Let's get this show on the road!
...Huh?
...Oh.
...Oh dear.
Well, I'd tell you to pick a starter, but... well. Something went horribly wrong, as you can see. So pick a nickname instead.
We're a very important Pokémon trainer, we don't have time for tutorials!
Sleeping on the job? That's not very professional of you, professor.
I am the queen of originality.
See ya later! ...Much, much later.
This is our room. There are many like it, but this one is ours. Let's check the computer before we go.
Our friend let his Marill write this email. Note the use of only basic language skills.
On the way out, our mum waylays us and tells us that half the town is looking for us. She then proceeds to dump a bunch of objects, both corporeal and incorporeal on us. Well, we'd better not keep the good Professor waiting!
No time to chat, Ethan! We're on a mission of utmost importance!
Apparently Professor Elm's research is... walking? Well, if it gets us a free Pokémon, I'm all for it, I guess.
Note how he rudely reads an email in the middle of a conversation.
Finally! Let's get this show on the road!
...Huh?
...Oh.
...Oh dear.
Well, I'd tell you to pick a starter, but... well. Something went horribly wrong, as you can see. So pick a nickname instead.
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(The other Jane)
The Colonel is a lonely sort, a veteran of the great Flower Wars.
Ethan decides to mock us for our awful luck.
With her astounding power, she can kill a level 3 Pidgey with just 6 Mega Drains!
On the journey to Mr. Pokémon's house and back to Cherrygrove, she gained 4 levels, learning Ingrain along the way.
...You can take her, if you want.
Our new friend, Passerby Boy, demonstrates his amazing magical talent, by transforming a Sunkern into a Cyndaquil.
Unfortunately, the Cyndaquil gets the life sucked out of him.
We share some bonding time with the Colonel.
Now. You might be wondering just why I bothered leveling the good Colonel up, when I could just wait to get some Pokéballs and catch something that isn't a seed. Well, you see, we have a severe Pokéball allergy, and as such, the Colonel is going to be our only companion on this long journey.
So, having handily disposed of our newfound rival, we head back to the lab.
JOHN CENA. ...No, that wasn't it. He had a name much more fitting.
Uh, rude?
I feel like I'm being mocked here.
Note that he says challenge, not beat.
Ethan, in an evil plan to take out the competition, tries to poison us by giving us Pokéballs.
Why does everyone in Johto hate me?
My Sunkern is in the top percentage of Sunkern.
We reach Violet City in search of the one piece.
...But first we have to go climbing.
The sage then went on to join an idol band in embarrassment.
Fun fact, something like 90% of the early game resists Grass, due to being Grass, Flying, Poison, Bug, or both at once. I had to leave the tower multiple times because I kept running out of PP.
Say goodbye to Growth, say hello to GrassWhistle!
And the first real boss of the game is an awful pun.
OH GOD NO A BIRD WITH INSOMNIA.
A couple of lucky crits later...
Now let's show the world what a 1' tall seed is really made of!
Not even a challenge.
Very convenient timing there. We replace Ingrain with its big brother.
...And stall Pidgeotto to death.
I believe I can fly~
And now that Falkner is beaten, we can pick up a power boost.
On the journey to Azalea Town, we pick up TM09 and immediately replace Absorb with Bullet Seed, because Absorb is terrible.
The rest of the trip passed uneventfully. ...Is what I wanted to say. Except that this happened.
...So. Uh. Yeah.
My allergy to Pokéballs is not nearly as strong as my allergy to killing shinies, so I caught it, to shove it in a box, never to see the light of day again. Our new acquisition's name? Mockery.
The rest of the journey to Azalea Town passed uneventfully.