Panurge watches every Irate Gamer review until he doesn't


Thoughts:

*Is he doing an MST3K thing at the start? Also he's a terrible actor.
*This is very basic and unpolished.
*That joke about the pane of glass is just him making a dumb joke about a dumb trope.
*He acts like he wouldn't be annoyed by these stupid enemies if they were in the movie, which is weird.
* Lots of weird non-jokes
*Unrelated: Why does Marty where a jacket in sunny summer california?
*He is very irate that this game has little to do with the movie
*A shitstorm of Bifs!
*"without cheating I don't know how this is not possible!"
*Bad comparisons to other videogames
*and now a skit It's not funny intentionally

IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: 19 out of 50 targets
«1

Comments

  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    To be fair, that game was pretty horrible....but I can see how the Irate Gamer could totally whiff a golden opportunity for snark.
  • Irate Gamer is like the Irate Gamer of game reviewers. 
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    What is with the color on that review anyway? That's not what that game's supposed to look like...did he get a corrupted rom?
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

    Irate Gamer is like the Irate Gamer of game reviewers. 


  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Thoughts
    *Delivery still awkward
    *Was Waldo really that big?
    *His observations are accurate. Not particularly funny though
    *Hahaha shit joke
    *It's not THAT long of a wait Chris
    *I played this game and it's really easy
    *I didn't know IG was such a die-hard Waldo fan
    *In which Chris complains that there's not a A Winner Is You screen
    * wowie, you mean the SNES had better graphics than the NES?
    * NO NOT HIS IRATE NATURE
    *Biting critique of episodic gaming by accident
    *Chris deals with the concept of false advertising.
    *That's not real
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: 1 out of 1 Waldos
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I forget, is that the one where he says something about "NES games" and overlays footage of Super Mario World?
  • The best Nes game, Super Mario World.
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    I forget, is that the one where he says something about "NES games" and overlays footage of Super Mario World?

    He might have, I didn't notice.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I found it, around 6:25

    He says something to the effect of "other NES games, like Super Mario World"

    It's clearly a slip of the tongue, but still something he should have caught
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    So! Goonies 2, I've heard good things about this game



    Thoughts

    * He says he remembers playing the game fondly, but also that he hates the game within seconds of each other.

    *His point about the game being a sequel to the movie is weird.

    *Nobody ever plays games out of order. Ever. Especially with the deep intricate plots of NES games

    * This rant about numbering systems is dumb.

    * TALK ABOUT A SHITLOAD OF SHIT

    * The problem with Goonies 2 is that it's an early Metroidvania, apparently

    * Chris, there's a clear visual cue on where you should use your hammer.

    * Brand was the name of Mikey's older brother in the movie, Chris.

    * Half the time they don't even make no sense at all

    * He is realllllly nitpicking

    * This is weird Chris

    * Bad translation jooookes.

    * Mermaid

    * Haha, you totally destroyed that cartridge for real, Chris.

    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: 0 out of 6 keys
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    Man, "whats worse than playing games out of order?"

    How, exactly, is playing games out of order punishable by death in a couple of contries?

    Um, clearly, Donkey Kong Junior comes between DOnkey Kong and Donkey Kong three.

    Um, yeah, sure, there are a lot of games only available in Japan, but really, how many of those are actually good? I assume that for a lot of the games that weren't exported, it was because they weren't good enough to export. I disagree with the Irate Gamer that Japan always gets the best stuff.

    You know, maybe the kids in Goonies have other friends that weren't in the movie and weren't mentioned? Pen pals are a thing, and so are friends that were on the other side of town during the events of the movie. I mean, it's not like some sort of thing where they have, say, a new One Piece or MLPFIM game where a new character is added and everyone acts like that new character was always an integral part of the group.

  • My dreams exceed my real life

    This is somehow worse than the Irate Gamer.
  • Wow, care to go over why? I want to hear your perspective abou it.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Six minutes of embarassing sketches before the actual meat is even reached.

    The strawman is somehow completely right.

    Fanboy nostalgic gushing replacing coherent arguments, or really dealing with what the strawman said.

    From what I've seen, the creator should know better.
  • He's usually willing to admit that he wears nostalgia goggles pretty hard, but he does have a point in some respects.

    Also his stance on the sketches is more or less "Fuck it, I make this series for myself" and, hell, at least the videos say when to skip to.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Kexruct said:

    He's usually willing to admit that he wears nostalgia goggles pretty hard, but he does have a point in some respects.

    Also his stance on the sketches is more or less "Fuck it, I make this series for myself" and, hell, at least the videos say when to skip to.

    No he doesn't.

    He never addressed the point of "cynical cash-ins have always existed" he just rambled about how Super Mario Bros 2 was a step forward. Which it was, but it's not the epochal life-changing event he's making it out to be. 

    brb making a Movie Overthinker series in which I say movies have lost their way because the 1934 movie Maniac wouldn't be made today.
  • Panurge did kind of hit a mark on the head, this thing is filled with Nostalgic rants that fail to underscore history's failings in light of overgrandising the long-term effects of a single piece of media. 
  • Also, for that matter, the Indie scene is kind of the market that's willing to explore the types of game-play that's left untapped by major publishers. 
  • Panurge said:

    Kexruct said:

    He's usually willing to admit that he wears nostalgia goggles pretty hard, but he does have a point in some respects.

    Also his stance on the sketches is more or less "Fuck it, I make this series for myself" and, hell, at least the videos say when to skip to.

    No he doesn't.

    He never addressed the point of "cynical cash-ins have always existed" he just rambled about how Super Mario Bros 2 was a step forward. Which it was, but it's not the epochal life-changing event he's making it out to be. 

    brb making a Movie Overthinker series in which I say movies have lost their way because the 1934 movie Maniac wouldn't be made today.
    I mean, like, on his twitter and stuff he totally owns up to the fact that he's a hell of a fanboy, but has said that he cares about his convictions regardless of whether or not they're colored by it; and honestly he does make quite a few good points in spite of it.
  • When he was talking Jurrasic Park/World, and the newfound evidence that dinosaurs had feathers, the whole argument he presented towards keeping them scaly lizards was "They were scaly lizards when I was a kid, I like that way"

    It was an entire "Appeal to tradition" and honestly, I felt really bad about it. 
  • Ehhh, not necessarily; he's always willing to at least own up to his nostalgia.
  • Owning up to his nostalgia doesnt' change the fact that he argued against more realistic dinosaur updates on the basis of Appeal to Traditon.

    Yes, he admits that it's nostalgic of himself, but then he argues that it shouldn't be changed.
  • edited 2015-02-13 03:23:10
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    Remember, The Simpsons was never good. You just thought it was because you were a kid when you watched it.
  • Remember, The Simpsons was never good. You just thought it was because you were a kid when you watched it.

    it wasn't tho
  • We can do anything if we do it together.
    naney said:

    Remember, The Simpsons was never good. You just thought it was because you were a kid when you watched it.

    it wasn't tho
    I was saying that because it was something Moviebob argued once that annoyed me.

    I liked it as a kid and I still like the classic years. I understand if you don't, though.
  • i watched early simpsons and it was

    ok i think
  • Owning up to his nostalgia doesnt' change the fact that he argued against more realistic dinosaur updates on the basis of Appeal to Traditon.


    Yes, he admits that it's nostalgic of himself, but then he argues that it shouldn't be changed.
    Well, not exactly; his argument was more along the lines of disliking nitpicking (with a side of admitted personal preference) Hell, he outright says it's childish and anti-intellectual.

    Remember, The Simpsons was never good. You just thought it was because you were a kid when you watched it.

    That wasn't the implication I gathered from his video.
  • edited 2015-02-13 04:30:58
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    Kexruct said:

    Remember, The Simpsons was never good. You just thought it was because you were a kid when you watched it.

    That wasn't the implication I gathered from his video.
    I’ve rewatched the videos again to give them another chance.

    Part 1 implies that the show isn’t as good as “you” remember it being. The only proof he offers of this is the fact that it still holds up remarkably well to people who grew up with it, which seems pretty paradoxical to me. There is also the fact that, while a lot of kids watched the show, a lot of adults watched the show, too. Many of those people have also complained about a decline in the quality of the show, and nostalgia doesn’t quite explain their attitude towards the later years of the show.

    Part 2 is pretty accurate, but I’d say that it’s more proof that the show should’ve gone off the air at that point more than proof that we’re all being too harsh on it. I’ll also note that four of his five favourite episodes all aired within the first seven seasons of the show.
  • I'll be honest, I thought the early 2000s episodes of the show (from around 2003-04) were generally garbage even when I was a kid
  • Not by the standards of what came before it, but like in general
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    These insights have led to revolutionary new concepts like the Bores Classifications of Spirits and the new field of psychological research called: Discarnate Psychology. These revelations have derived from hours of work in the field, ancient texts (‘Tibetan Book of the Dead’, ‘Egyptian Book of the Dead’), psychology, world religions and even quantum physics.
  • edited 2016-07-24 22:48:34
    My dreams exceed my real life

    *I have never heard of this game

    *Chris, don't show the text on screen and then clearly misread it

    *He's just begun, and he's at the bottom of the barrel

    *WELL MOTHERFUCKER

    * Is this really sidescrolling? Why is Chris so baffled by top-down perspective?

    * The problem with this NES game is it's an NES game

    * I don't feel like not designing for turbo is a bad decision

    *FAKE VIDEO GAME PLAYING ACTIOOOONNN

    * This was impressively phoned in

    *Bad CGI ho hum

    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: 3 shots with a Turbo controller
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I remember there was a Mission Impossible NES game but I never played it.

    ho hum
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    Thoughts

    *One of the most hardest games
    *IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WICKER MAN IS A BAD MOVIE
    *The main character which is named Arthur
    *Just verbal gaffes all over this video
    *RAGE MONTAGE
    *He is complaining about NES games not being real life
    *Oh hey it's the devil
    *Bad list joke
    *THE MAGIC OF GREEN SCREEN
    *This is not funny
    *I feel like Chris doesn't have a script for any of these reviews
    *Oh hi the devil
    *Wow, it's almost like the creators of Ghosts N Goblins were as bad at proofreading as Chris Bores
    *Hello again the devil
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: Two hits before you're dead


  • Odie why do you subject yourself to this unique form of torture.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Of all the things I subject myself to, this is the least unpleasant.

    Honestly Chris Bores is still better than a lot of internet critics because he's incompetent enough to not actually be rage inducing.
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Chris Bores, for all of the ruckus he was a part of, is largely innocuous and at worst... kind of boring, in my opinion. And at some point tried to carve or has been carving his own path. Not that I can speak on how successful he's been at that.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Charming.
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    Thoughts

    * SOMEWHERE IN CHRIS'S BACKYARD SOUTH AMERICA
    * skull
    * GREAT SPECIAL EFFECTS
    * More like temple of DUNG
    * That was an awkward way to phrase a simple sentence
    * Chris it's not funny if you just clumsily force the name of an NES game into a sentence
    * This game does look pretty lame
    * LOOPED VIDEO GAME LEVELS???????
    * Oh. Oh hey it's this joke. Hey
    * Chris is a really bad actor
    * Are these the demonic spiders of which the legend spoke?
    * Chris's eternal battle with A Winner Is You screens continues
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: Five sacred Sankara Stones
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    I got mildly drunk



    Thoughts

    *starting very middle school book report here

    *I feel like Yoshi's Island is more of an outlier than 2

    * Was that effect done in kidpix

    *It's bad because it's not the same game

    *His name is toadstool not toad, it's okay though Chris, because you're right he's worthless, he's a character who can't jump for shit in a platformer

    * I wonder if Chris has no friends. I'll be your friend Chris, you are okay in the grand scheme of things and you look huggable assuming you shower.

    * I know this footage is slowed down Chris

    * fucking cactuses

    * I know she's named Birdo, but she doesn't look like a bird

    * "Doing some research" by which he means Wikipedia

    * That's not what predecessor means

    *FCUKING DONKEY DONKEY PICNIC

    * Digging those weird little heads

    * "It's unclear"

    * I played the hell out of that GBS

    * OH NO HE'S EVIL

    * HAHAHA FLOWER POWER

    * Ill be your friend Chris

    * OH NO! It'S SATAN!

    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: I'll be your friend Chris and I will help you hunt ghosts
  • The sadness will last forever.
    lmao
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    Thoughts:

    *WHAT THE FUCK IS A MUSCLE?
    *No I don't remember these things from the 1980s
    *Piranha Plant cameo
    *This game looks boring
    *Chris has no friends, and has to bring in a Maple Story sprite as a co-host
    *Chris, the NES did not have the technology for announcers
    *Let Tony get a word in edgewise Chris, geez
    *Bang-A-Lang!
    *This game also looks kinda boring
    *This looks kinda fun, but is a boxing game
    *Don't be homophobic Tony
    *Hehe it's a garbage pail kid
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: About 700 muscles in the human body
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I don't remember those things from the 1980s and I was actually there
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    Thoughts:

    *Ol Shred Head
    *Dying IS cool as shit
    *I love Chris's gaming face
    *Doesn't this defies the law of physics?
    *THEY ALL MAGICALLY REAPPEAR that's how the NES worked Chris
    *WHAT A BUNCH OF ASSBURGERS WITH A SIDE OF FRIES
    *I love Chris's gaming motions
    *Fleshy intro? Gone
    *You end up fighting off a polar bear that looks like the cross between Joe Camel and Spuds McKenzie
    *donkey kong
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: 4 out of 4 Ninja Turtles
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    who the fuck is Panurge
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    That said, Chris Boring here is apparently unaware that Turtles in Time itself is a port of an arcade game, and that The Hyperstone Heist on the Genesis is mostly the same game anyway.

    Also, a friend of mine used to have the first NES Turtles game and, while it has issues, the water level really isn't nearly as bad as he makes it out to be.
  • edited 2019-04-12 00:40:34
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Thoughts:
    *Pizza 
    *Yo! Irate Gamer
    *Some PLOT going on with Chris's evil twin
    *For one it's not even set up like a normal game and it's also FUSTRATING as fuck!
    *"If you play this game you are destined to die" technically this is true of every game you play, or do not play
    *i like pizza
    *Dominos has a lot of nerve selling out 
    *Chris predicted modern Youtube
    *I'm irate dammit
    *hee lemmings
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: Eight slices of Pizza
  • My dreams exceed my real life


    Thoughts: 
    *The devil is here, perhaps Chris's greatest character
    *All snazzed up
    *rubs hands together
    *AN ALL IRATE GAMER REBOOT OF GHOSTBUSTERS? THE SJWS HAVE TRULY WON
    *I love Barnes and Nobles too Chris
    *Chris gets really MRA when cheerleaders come up
    *I love the patented Irate Gamer List
    * SKELETON
    * HE KINDA SOUNDS LIKE A BAD WOODY ALLEN IMPERSONATION
    * SKELETON
    * SKELETON
    * SKELETON
    * The problem with this game is you have to try not to die!
    * A fustrating quest
    * ESPECIALLY YOU MARK HUTCHINSON
    * As a gamer







    This is stuff I need to know
    IRATE-O-METER FOR THIS REVIEW: Am I on? Am I on? Oh goodness me
Sign In or Register to comment.