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How to bathe your pet eagle

★ ~ S U M M E R ✿ S A U S A G E ! ~ ★★ ~ S U M M E R ✿ S A U S A G E ! ~ ★
in General Media
1. Patiently and lovingly strip your eagle of every single feather on its feathery disguting body

2. Sing a calming lullaby to soothe the bird's undoubtedly frayed nerves

3. Tell it that it's a beautiful bird and that what you're going to do hurts you more than it hurts them

4. Snap the bird's neck (for easier storage)

5. Toss it in the dishwasher, turn on and wait until finished

6. Leave it on the clothesline to dry

7. Buy Laura a new pet eagle before she gets home from work



Thank you for watching another episode of "Exotic Pet Tips & Trixx", please tune in next week when I teach you how to potty train your snorlax, don't forget to like, comment & share, and see ya in the next one! Stay hairy folks!
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Comments

  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I know someone who may not appreciate this
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Let's not.
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