General Religion, Mythology, and occult talk

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  • You better be carefull with that ghost it might be a demon you
    better leave because imaginary friends are always bad news i had a
    friend who had a imaginary friend and then he was found dead cause of
    death unknown but they found his lung closed up be careful

    His lung was closed up but they don't know what killed him? That sounds like some shitty detective work.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    MORE LIKE IMAGINARY FIEND, AMIRITE?!

    Seriously though, I love the conclusion that his friend died simply because his imaginary friend "closed up" his lung.




  • * MY LITTLE PONY

    Everyone loves horses, but these are not your everyday horses. These
    horses can levitate, or fly through the air. Most people do not realize
    when they see someone or something flying through the air that this
    phenomenon is pure Satanism. Further, many of these horses are Unicorns.
    In fact, this TV cartoon so popularized Unicorns that we see them today
    in jewelry, clothing, paintings, and figurines. Many Christian families
    even own Unicorn representations in their homes. Do you realize the
    Unicorn has been occultic for thousands of years, and is represented in
    current New Age literature as being representative of the violent way in
    which the New World Order will be finally brought into existence?
    Occultic folklore has traditionally pictured the Unicorn as the
    destroyer of the old system, a necessary prerequisite for the New System
    to be established.


    Did you know God utilized a Unicorn-type animal in His prophecy
    in Daniel 8:4-5, in depicting the final days' Anti-Christ? Do not be
    deceived: the Unicorn is not the sweet, gentle, and loving animal which
    is portrayed. Your children are being manipulated into believing a lie,
    and setting them up to accept the Anti-Christ when he arises.
    Twilight Sparkle: Embodiment of evil.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    XD

    That's got to be a troll.  No way is that one real.
  • FLUTTERSHY GONNA KEEEEEL YOUUUUU!!!
  • Did anyone ever read a book by Johanna Michelson called "The
    Beautiful Side of Evil"? Christians are more and more being deceived by
    Yoga saying things like "it really helps my neck or back" or "I just
    want some exercise". Well of course it works. And wicca works and
    divining works and hypnosis often works. Just because something is of
    Satan doesn't mean it won't work.

    So following Satan gets results? I'm not sure that's the message you want to be sending.
  • Note that in the Middle Ages, the unicorn was perhaps the most popular symbol of Christ, being a powerful animal that could only be brought into contact with humanity by a virgin.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    image


    One of my Jehovah Witness pamphlet's I was readying took a page to talk about Tequila. Just a short little blurb on it's history and how it's often enjoyed.

    Christianity gets a lot of flack because of some of the prudes in it, but credit where credit is due. The religious is much more laissez-faire about alcohol (in moderation, of course) than many other modern religions. 

    There are Christian monks that make liquor. And also Abby Beer. Horray, Beer! 
  • Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Plus, there's the wedding at Cana (if I recall correctly what the place name was) where Jesus turned water into wine, so the Bible doesn't really condemn it.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    I think Paul wasn't a fan, but Jesus obviously didn't mind a little wine at dinner.

    And you know, only one of those guys has the religion NAMED after him. :P
  • Fundamentalist Christianity seems to be based much more on the teachings of Paul than Jesus.
  • Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    I'm not sure I like Paul that much, to be honest. Granted, it's mostly because he threw a snake into a campfire once, and even with the symbolism and all, I don't think that was necessary. Of course, as a reptile nerd, I'm a little biased, but still...
  • Assuming that everything attributed to him was actually written by him, Paul was a twat.
  • edited 2012-01-28 16:45:39
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    ^^^Very astute observation.

    Paul got quite a bit more specific than Jesus's "Don't be a dick." And it's often Paul's specific teaching regarding married life, drinking, homosexuality, etc... that get tons of focus from the fundamentalists. 

    Part of the issue though, is some of his stuff is likely being taken out of context, and many things attributed to him probably weren't written by him.

  • In fact, fundamentalist Christianity seems to be based on the teachings of everyone but Jesus. Except when Jesus says things that can be used to justify self-righteous dickery.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    They certainly don't throw many "love thy neighbors" around.
  • I think the only truth that the Bible reveals is the truth about the person who reads it.
  • St. Paul gets a bad rap, but Christ was the one who talked about Hell while Paul seems to imply universal reconciliation (I Cor. 15:28, Phil. 2:10, etc.)
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Both are subject to mad interpretations, or at least, Christian doctrine has had a couple Millennium to develop ideas based on a few books. 

    It's difficult to always figure out what's right and wrong, though there's a few things Christians believe that clearly aren't scripture.

    Also, do I detect your inner Hindu trying to get out? :P
  • "Also, do I detect your inner Hindu trying to get out?"

    How do you mean?
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    "
    When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all. " I Cor. 15:28 (NIV)

    Little Brahman joke there. 

    'Course that isn't the only interpretations of that verse, and different translations give very different meanings.
  • "Little Brahman" sounds like a horrible nickname for someone's genitalia.
  • Justice: Ah yes, I would interpret it that way vs. other possibilities. On the other hand, it's not something I made up: it was Origen's interpretation.

    As to translation, I was quoting the New American Standard Version, which preserves most of the Greek syntax even at the expense of awkward English.

    THIS THREAD IS NOW ABOUT BIBLE TRANSLATIONS!
  • 1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

    2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

    3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

  • edited 2012-01-28 17:29:31
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    "Little Brahman" sounds like a horrible nickname for someone's genitalia."

    With no end to horrible penis jokes, to boot!

    ""Great indeed are the devas who have sprung out of Brahman." — Atharva Veda"


    Welp, this if officially the worse possible  thing that could happen, ever. Thanks Idler!
  • Hooray, I've done the worst thing ever!

    So Justice, explain Taoism to me.
  • edited 2012-01-28 17:45:04
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    One of China's indigenous religions. The line between Taoism and regional Chinese animism beliefs is blurry at best.

    In a way, one could say Taoism is almost an organized version of Chinese animism.

    The teachings of the Tao are pretty Zen like. Take the first few lines of the most important book in Taoism. 

    1

    The tao that can be told
    is not the eternal Tao
    The name that can be named
    is not the eternal Name.

    The Tao Te Ching is only a tiny part of Taoism, however. 

    It covers the philosophical aspects, well enough (though they are expanded on in other books), but doesn't go into great detail about other aspects (Chinese afterlife, various Gods, Alchemy, Immortals etc...)

    The "end goal" in Taoism seems to be "eternal life" (which is possibly synonymous with religious enlightenment in Taoism). There are a number of ways to go about this, from the sensible (good diet, exercise. behaving in a moral way, etc...), to the bizarre (having sex as little as possible, or practicing various Tao tantric acts), to the downright dangerous (drinking so-called "immortality elixirs" which where sometimes made with lead, sulfur, arsenic, and mercury).

    The religion has had well over 2,500 years to develop, so there are lots and lots of books and teachings on it.


  • edited 2012-01-28 17:46:43
    So wait, you can achieve eternal life both through abstinence and having really weird sex?

    Man, this is a bizarre religion.
  • edited 2012-01-28 17:59:33
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Yep.

    A man's seed is to be consider synonymous with his life energy. So it's best to retain it.

    The "really weird sex", as you say, is still about that. The man either pulls out before orgasm, or applies pressure to a key part in the body to insure that his sexual energy travels up into the head and "nourished the brain."

    Some texts seem to simply suggest having sex a lot is actually a good thing, and another suggests the sex with women younger than 18 (especially virgins) would lead to immortality.

    Though, it's been mentioned that sexual rituals alone are not enough for immortality. 

    I should mention that Taoism has many not so weird beliefs as well. Chinese new year rituals, for instance, are will grounded in Taoism. Related would be stuff like the Jade Emperor.
  • Wicca seems like a pretty cool religion, as religions go.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Wicca is a religion I don't know much about.

    It's too new. :P
  • edited 2012-01-28 18:22:04
    I like the Wiccan Rede.
     
    I also like the story about the guy who went to the Rabbi who told him "do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That is the essence of Judaism. Everything else is commentary".

    Basically, I can respect any religious person whose centre of their belief is "just be nice, dude".
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    The golden and silver rule get a lot of mention and religious scriptures. Confucius taught the silver rule as a ("Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you ") universal way to conduct oneself in life.
  • Really, religions would be much better if they just stated the golden and silver rules and left it at that.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    They wouldn't be religions, then.


    Also, the rules on their own aren't exactly perfect. Religions also help explain WHY you should be following them (hence, the part in the quote about commentary")
  • The Golden Rule, the thing that's almost as good as Kant's categorical imperative, but not quite.
  • Kant's categorical imperative is total nonsense.
  • Nonsense? Nonsense!!
  • Yeah. The most obvious example is that it makes it always morally wrong for an individual to choose not to have children.
  • (*Puzzles It Over*)


    I guess I've never thought of it that way before....


    But that depends on what part of the "Not having a baby" you use the imperative on: You could wish it to be a universal law that people think it over carefully when deciding to have kids or not, which is good.


    The Golden Rule seems to make less sense though.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  • Kant was also completely against lying, ever, which is a ridiculous position to take.
  • I'm bored. Justice, tell me about some more cool stuff.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Hell as Ambassadors, and there's a demon that supervises Satan's wardrobe. 

    Hell, in fact, has many very political possessions withing it's hierarchy. 

    Belphegor is the demon prince that represents sloth. Also Hell's Ambassador to France.

    Thamuz is Hell's ambassador to Spain. The name derived from a  Sumerian shepherd-god. It's also the name of one of the Babylonia months, in honor of the god. He also appears in Paradise Lost.

    Mammon is the demon prince of greed, avarice, what-have-you. He's Hell's ambassador to England.  He's definitely better know than the other two, being actually in the Bible. He's also in Paradise Lost as well as the Constantine movie, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's possible that he was a Sumerian god as well, but I haven't found anything the conclusively shows that.

    "Adramelech became the President of the Senate of the demons. He is also the Chancellor of Hell and supervisor ofSatan's wardrobe." 

    There's a joke about government in here somewhere, but I just can't find it.:P

    He used to be a sun god, but shit sucks when your tribe didn't get along with the ancient Hebrews.


  • edited 2012-01-28 21:59:55
    So what does the Devil actually wear, then? I mean, other than Prada.
  • When that movie came out, I had an image of "The Devil Wears Pravda." Basically Satan cavorting around in a mini-dress made out of Soviet newspapers.
  • Long story short: my friend accidentally captured a friendly entity
    in a black tourmaline crystal and he wants to free it. The crystal was
    lost somewhere and it could be anywhere right now.. Does anyone know how
    to free an entity from a crystal that is not even with you anymore? I
    really appreciate the advice.
    I think this is one of those occasions where "long story short" really doesn't cut it.

  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    Yeah, how is anyone supposed to offer advice on how to free the entity when they haven't even told us the process by which it came to be trapped there?
  • How do you "accidentally capture" something anyway?
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