I want a Wife

Boney · 2011-11-23 20:42:36

Discuss.

Anonus · 2011-11-23 21:23:33

...he either seems to need a helping hand or he wants a servant.

Boney · 2011-11-23 21:25:54

Read it again. Pay special attention to the beginning. It is the truth.

Imipolex G · 2011-11-23 22:20:31

Hmm, that actually makes a pretty decent case for having a wife.

Still, what about the nag nag nag

Haven · 2011-11-23 22:25:04

^ 8/10

Unknown · 2011-11-24 01:44:34

The user and all related content has been deleted.

lee4hmz · 2011-11-24 04:02:28

Once you see the yuri, you can't un-see it. ^_^ Not just any yuri, but cutesy, cuddly "we're Life Partners that said 'we've pretty much been dating all these years, let's make it official XD'" yuri.

Then again, I said I needed sleep in another thread, so I could be wrong...

Viani · 2011-11-24 14:00:08

SPOILER ALERT: POEM IS ABOUT TWO MEN

glennmagusharvey · 2011-11-27 13:43:46

Were you robbed by two men?

Justice4243 · 2011-12-16 14:37:38

I think this article escaped from the 1950s.

Boney · 2011-12-28 09:05:37

1970s.

King_Friday · 2011-12-28 14:36:30

want this wife.

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 15:06:16

You want a wife that can be swayed to purchase things because they come from mountains?

I guess there are some advantages to having a gullible ass wife who goes out to buy coffee without question when it won't please her man...like convincing her she's been poisoned and only one's sexual organ's secrete the antidote...

Unknown · 2011-12-28 15:47:39

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 16:18:29

SMOKE

King_Friday · 2011-12-28 16:39:09

OMG I totally read that as "Blow in her face and she'll blow you anywhere".

Princess Alice · 2011-12-28 16:55:18

^ So I wasn't the only one...

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 17:51:22

SMOKE

King_Friday · 2011-12-28 18:02:53

SMOKING JUST GOT SEXY:

Grrrrrrrrrr baby

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:10:31

ARE YOU SMOKING YET?

Boney · 2011-12-28 18:11:49

They smoke CAMELS? Jay-Z, RUN!!!

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:13:07

King_Friday · 2011-12-28 18:14:10

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:14:16

Oh Jesus, that's the best one.

I especially like the part where the mom has a cigarette before screaming at the baby.

King_Friday · 2011-12-28 18:15:14

^ lmao

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:16:47

"cry a little. Not a lot. Just a little. He'll go, he'll go."

Anonus · 2011-12-28 18:27:25

Some part of me doesn't want to stop your fun, so I moved this to General.

(Talk is meant to be less silly than the rest of the site.)

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:30:49

I didn't know notice this was in talk.

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:34:49

DAVE WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SMELLY VAG! YOU BETTER GET SOME LYSOL UP IN THERE SO HE'LL LOVE YOU AGAIN.

Anonus · 2011-12-28 18:37:43

(looks up Lysol on Wikipedia)

So Reckitt & Colman (forerunner to current maker Reckitt Benckiser) didn't own Lysol until 1994. Huh.

Justice4243 · 2011-12-28 18:38:58

Is Lysol still "scientifically correct"?

Anonus · 2011-12-28 18:41:43

Probably not.

Unknown · 2011-12-28 22:35:21

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Imipolex G · 2011-12-28 22:38:25

Because they're from decades past.

Not that today's ads aren't full of gender stereotype kinda stuff.

Unknown · 2011-12-28 22:45:11

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Ace Rimmer · 2011-12-29 02:50:21

So if my wife isn't testing coffee, I can bend her over my knee and spank her?

Justice4243 · 2011-12-29 02:56:39

You can also accuse her of committing crimes and throw coffee all over her flowers!

Haven · 2011-12-29 03:05:55

I wonder what that guy's like the rest of the time. "You just beat a priest to death with a dinner plate!" "So you admit it--your cooking is unholy!"

Justice4243 · 2012-01-01 01:00:13

Yes women, you'll have no problem empowering your gender from up there, I'm sure.

"Thanks sweet-cheeks. After this we can make some hanky-panky. And the tie will stay on. The tie ALWAYS stays on."

...

No seriously, this one is just too horrifying. I got nothing.

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-01 01:01:38

Didn't read but for some reason the thread title reminds me of

DickGrabrod · 2012-01-01 04:07:09

^ It's either that or fucking the animals.

lee4hmz · 2012-01-02 05:10:31

Oh man, the BROOMSTICKS one looks like a modern parody. I blame all the Impact (i.e. "the official image macro font").

Princess Alice · 2012-01-02 05:13:26

I find it interesting how certain typefaces (like Impact) managed to become so ubiquitous almost solely because Microsoft decided to license them and bundle them with so much of their software.

lee4hmz · 2012-01-02 05:26:48

CA: That, and Helvetica and Times themeselves weren't nearly as popular until pretty much every typesetter started copying them in the late 1970s. After Adobe licensed those two, Courier, Palatino and Avant-Garde for PostScript, it was all over.

And upon looking at the Broomsticks ad again: OH MY GAH The old Acrilan tag! I don't think I've seen tha tin like 30 years!

Princess Alice · 2012-01-02 05:34:04

Some of Microsoft/Monotype's choices for matching the PostScript fonts amuse me.

Century Gothic in particular--they took Twentieth Century, which was itself a knockoff of Futura, and re-drew it to imitate the metrics of PostScript's Avant Garde.

Also I have a hard time seeing Book Antiqua as anything but blatant plagiarism.

lee4hmz · 2012-01-02 05:41:32

Yup. About the only one they got right was Times New Roman, but that's because Times was a Monotype face to start with!

I'm surprised they didn't do something really bizarre, like take American Typewriter or even Clarendon for that matter and try to make it match Courier's metrics, but then, IBM created Courier and (AFAIK) doesn't really care who uses it. So they just did what all the cool kids on MyFonts do and redrew it. Hehehe.

Justice4243 · 2012-01-11 17:54:41

DON'T STOP BELIEEEEEVIIIIIN'

Justice4243 · 2012-01-11 17:58:11

D:

Ace Rimmer · 2012-01-11 18:04:42

I want a wife and girlfriend....

Justice4243 · 2012-01-11 18:06:20

Clearly you need to get Tipalet cigarettes and start blowing smoke in the faces of women.

Imipolex G · 2012-01-11 21:49:50

^^^Yikes.

I want a Wife

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