Central Avenue's Very 1997 Christmas [image-heavy]

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Comments

  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    As someone who had one of those Pooh dolls: yes, it had to talk and move
  • Guess they had to soup it up a bit
  • edited 2013-12-25 02:36:21
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Aww...fair enough

    Anyway, I'll probably finish this in the morning, because I'm going to bed soon

    ^ I smiled.
  • Good, "vaguely". I was worried that these weren't nearly obscure enough and that people would be like "why are you reciting this to us as if we don't already know it?"

    I used to watch it every year and remember some scenes rather well.

    I have wondered previously if The Winter Warlock is an influence on The Ice King from Adventure Time.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Christmas may have come and gone, but I am NOT giving up without at least finishing Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. A true princess never does anything halfway!

    And besides, there's only like 20 minutes left anyway. How hard can it be?

    We're introduced to Nestor, a donkey who lived during the time of the Roman Empire.

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    Nestor has unusually long ears that drag the ground, making it hard for him to complete even basic tasks, as he tends to trip over his own ears. Much like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (a comparison Anonus drew earlier), everyone in this special is a jerk and the other animals laugh and bully Nestor because he's different. Even Olaf the donkey breeder refuses to give Nestor any food!

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    One night, after the animals hold a big celebration in honor of the Winter Solstice, a Roman solider arrives, seeking to purchase donkeys from Olaf. He becomes enraged, however, upon seeing Nestor's ears, and takes all of Olaf's other colts without paying him. Olaf throws Nestor out in a fit of rage, but his mother runs after him, offering him protection from the winter storm...at the cost of her own life. Nestor is now alone and without a home.

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    As he wanders on, Nestor meets a cherub named Tilly. “Your ears can do a wondrous thing no other ears can do,” Tilly tells him. “The sounds they hear will guide you on a path that's straight and true—and you will save another, as your mother once saved you!”

    And so the two set off for Bethlehem.
  • Basically, 90s TV is current TV at lower resolution.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Pretty much, yeah. It would be cool if I had recordings of these specials from when they were new or almost-new, but unfortunately mid-'90s cable reruns are the oldest I can go. :V

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    The first commercial this time around is actually a promo for an airing of Santa and the Three Bears, a public domain Christmas special that Peter Paltridge has written about before.

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    A radio-controlled Tonka dump truck. Not gonna lie, I would have loved that as a kid. The commercial features a little boy who uses it to dump random household objects and rocks and things around his house and backyard.

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    Rayovac rechargeable batteries, featuring some vintage CGI. It's funny to think about a time when rechargeable batteries were something you had to go out and buy specially instead of something that just comes with your fancy electronics out of the box.

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    Pantene Pro-V conditioner. This could almost be a modern commercial—it's amusing how ads for these sorts of hair care products have changed so little over time: shots of women with deliberately messy hair, shots of women washing their hair, then the same woman with nicer hair. Formula complete.

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    The Honey Nut Cheerios Bee (who had no name back then) brings some Honey Nut Cheerios to Ebeneezer Scrooge, who enjoys them. Another Christmas-themed commercial, and another cheesy and cute one. I approve.

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    An old white guy talks about life insurance. Boring. Though it's cool to see the name Montgomery Ward.
  • edited 2013-12-26 14:18:30
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
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    Tilly takes Nestor “almost” to Bethlehem, telling him to wait and that he will know when the time is right to carry on. He's taken in by a desert merchant, but it's the same old story as before: no one will buy him, and the other animals bully him. 

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    One night, however, things change. Joseph and Mary come to the stables looking for a donkey to take to Bethlehem...and they choose Nestor!

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    The three set off for Bethlehem, but get caught in a terrible sandstorm. But Nestor, remembering Tilly's poem, hears a voice...his mother's voice, telling him to follow the sounds of the angels! And he does, safely guiding Mary and Joseph through the storm.

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    They arrive at Bethlehem to find, as we all know, that all the inns were full...and it was Nestor himself who found the stable where Mary and Joseph stayed on that very first Christmas night.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I had that Tonka Dump Truck.
  • edited 2013-12-26 14:31:12
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^ Cool!

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    “Coming up next, it's the adventures of Noel, the tiny Christmas tree ornament!” I've never heard of this special...it seems like Family Channel aired a lot more obscure or forgotten specials back then than ABC Family does now.

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    A brief trailer for For Richer or Poorer, starring Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley. Man movies of the '90s were weird.

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    Grown-ups talk about their love for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes as if it's a drug addicition. Kinda amusing, I guess. Also of note is that this commercial gives Tony the Tiger's residence as Battle Creek, Michigan.

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    A Hollywood make-up artist tries to sell us some makeup. Not very interesting, tbh...moving on.

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    A game called UpWords, which appears to be like Scrabble but with the added twist that you can stack letters to change words. Looks fun, honestly! Anyone here ever played it?

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    Home and Family again.
  • edited 2013-12-26 14:35:07
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    My grandmother was an UpWords addict for years.

    Seriously, she would play that game every day and challenge anybody.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)

    My grandmother was an UpWords addict for years.

    Seriously, she would play that game every day and challenge anybody.

    I LOVE YOUR GRANDMA.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Well she's dead now but she was a pretty cool lady, mostly
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Aw man, I need to get my hands on a copy of this game sometime. Also find people to play it with!

    Anyways, we're almost done, so here's what's left:

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    Nestor returns to Olaf's stables to find everyone praising him for a job well done. Just like Rudolph...hey, it's not just me, the song in this part draws the same comparison!

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    We transition back to Santa Claus's stables, where we find Santa, Mrs. Claus, his reindeers, and his elves have gathered around to dance in Nestor's honor. The credits then roll in their entirety, something you'd never get on modern-day ABC Family.

    And that's all for this year, everyone! The next special on this tape is The Year Without A Santa Claus. That one's still popular enough that I don't think I need to do a recap of it, and because it was recorded from the Disney Channel there are no commercials in it, so I think I'll leave it be for now.

    Happy Boxing Day and a belated Merry Christmas to you all!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The Frosted Flakes ad has a Kellogg's "K" bug in the lower right hand corner.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Oh, wow, someone actually re-ran Noel? I actually have a recording of it from when it first aired on NBC in 1992, and I covered it in my liveblog thread.
  • edited 2013-12-26 22:03:10
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)

    Well she's dead now but she was a pretty cool lady, mostly

    I have three of my four biological grandparents.  My paternal grandma remarried twice, once to dairy farmer who sold ice cream (I don't know much about him, but apparently he became extremely cranky and possibly abusive); and once to my awesome non-biological grandpa.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    My grandparents have all passed into the great beyond, alas.

    It occurs to me that the grandma in question looked a lot like my avatar, minus the burger.
  • My grandmother was an UpWords addict for years.

    Seriously, she would play that game every day and challenge anybody.

    I had UpWords a long time ago but don't remember playing it much.  I mostly remember stacking the tiles as high as I could.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    IIRC the game has a limit of five (?) layers high you can go.

    I mean, if you're into following rules and stuff.
  • yeah I made the whole set of tiles into a tower

    fuck the rules
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Oh man! I remember that Scrooge Honey Nut Cheerio commercial! 
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Watching the special again on another tape, in the ending of Nestor, you can actually see various models from other Rankin-Bass specials: the models of Santa, Mrs. Claus, Jingle and Jangle from The Year Without a Santa Claus, and the model of Rudolph from Rudolph's Shiny New Year.
  • rankin bass really does sound like a dubstep producer's moniker
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Anonus said:

    Watching the special again on another tape, in the ending of Nestor, you can actually see various models from other Rankin-Bass specials: the models of Santa, Mrs. Claus, Jingle and Jangle from The Year Without a Santa Claus, and the model of Rudolph from Rudolph's Shiny New Year.

    ...Ooh, thanks! I'd meant to comment on that, but I'd forgotten.

    I like it; in trying to save a bit of time and money (by reusing models they had on hand), they also made a little callback to their previous specials!
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

    And now we're to our first commercial break!

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    First, a pretty straightforward advertisement for a Family Channel “Double Feature”: Blazing Saddles at 8:00 and Avalanche Express at 10:00. Not very interesting, but gives a good view of the Family Channel's on-air look of the time.
    Really? Blazing Saddles on The Family Channel? Just how badly did it get bowdlerized?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ...You know, that didn't even occur to me before now. I imagine it was edited as heavily as ABC Family did Spaceballs a few years back!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I saw Spaceballs on TBS a few years ago...the only edit I noticed was "We're not doing this for the money. We're doing this for a shitload of money!" having the "shit" taken out of "shitload."
  • edited 2014-01-02 00:10:16
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Watching an edited version of Mallrats was pretty hysterical. Jay's pitch would constantly change.
  • I saw the TV edit of Scott Pilgrim a few weeks ago.

    Wasn't bad but they took out some of the "shit" usage. One is kind of vital for one of the jokes though, so it made that part weird, but the main thing that made me pause was the commercial breaks.
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