If you were a Spell Tome Maker....

Viani · 2013-09-27 00:07:20

What spells would you make for others to use?

A Polymorph Mosquito into Chocolate M&M Spell Book would be awesome.

Bee · 2013-09-27 01:14:37

Make Entire House Smell of Cloves. Fuck you, ants.

Viani · 2013-09-27 02:00:02

Make Ants Smell of Cloves. Super-fuck you, Ants.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-27 03:05:19

Make Entire House Smell of Ants. Fuck you, cloves.

Viani · 2013-09-27 05:33:10

Make Entire Fuck Smell of You. House cloves, ants.

Alduin · 2013-09-27 05:52:09

Flesh to Muck. Instantaneously transforms target into muck for 1d10 + 1(character level) rounds.

Components: dung of any sort, at least 50 gp worth of terrible romance novels.

Viani · 2013-09-27 21:55:00

Explain Concept. Translates a concept from your language into a form that any creature can understand.

Viani · 2013-09-27 22:21:50

Destroy Online Discussion Board. Bring forth war upon Heapershangout.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-27 22:23:58

Television Meltdown. Physically melts all televisions within a ten-mile radius.

Music Replacement. Instantly replaces any annoying music that might be playing with good music.

Bust Enhancement. Self-explanatory

Instant Bacon. Transforms any unwanted foodstuffs into bacon.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 22:27:11

Pillows said:
Bust Enhancement. Self-explanatory

Is it a cheat code for when you play as Mobster Kingpin in the new Problem Sleuth game?

Imipolex G · 2013-09-27 22:28:10

Never read Problem Sleuth. You know damn well what I meant

Viani · 2013-09-27 22:32:28

Conjure Beautiful Human Redhead with 36D Breasts Freckles and Pandering Personality Type. Suddenly I solve all my money problems by sending them out to work for me.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 22:45:50

^^ And I can read it however I please, thank you very much!

Bunny · 2013-09-27 22:51:22

Object to Bear and Bear to Object

Alchemy is an incredibly hard craft to master, unless you know of the alchemical properties of the bear. For reasons unknown to man (at the moment), bears are incredibly reactive to alchemy; thus, you can transmute anything to anything as long as (A) you pay attention to the law of conservation of mass and (B) you are able to keep the bear(s) under control while you retransmute.

As a result, many successful alchemists are also quite accomplished bear punchers.

Obā-san · 2013-09-27 22:52:18

yyyyeeesssss i approve

Salix Babylonika · 2013-09-27 23:17:38

Transmute Cookie to Other Flavor of Cookie, from An Alchemist's Cookbook.

useful for getting rid of oatmeal raisin.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:18:13

I like oatmeal raisin cookies. :(

Salix Babylonika · 2013-09-27 23:18:32

Yes but do you like peanut butter chocolate chip better?

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:21:13

No...

Alduin · 2013-09-27 23:29:22

Peanut butter chocolate chip cookies get stuck in my throat...

Salix Babylonika · 2013-09-27 23:29:51

You guys are lucky that the liberal agenda blocked the passing of the Cookie Amendment.

Bunny · 2013-09-27 23:42:07

Dude, peanut butter is like the best kind of cookie

Obā-san · 2013-09-27 23:44:39

the best kind of cookie

prolly samoas

Imipolex G · 2013-09-27 23:44:58

chocolate chip

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:47:24

Pangur Bán said:
the best kind of cookie

prolly samoas

Very true.

That or freshly baked walnut chocolate chip cookies with milk and semisweet chocolate chips.

Obā-san · 2013-09-27 23:49:46

i like white chocolate chip w/ macadamia nuts

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:50:52

Those are good, too. I generally find white chocolate a dubious substance, but in that combination it is quite pleasing.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-27 23:51:57

I can't have any with nuts because I am allergic

:(

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:53:34

That is most unfortunate!

*gives Imi plain chocolate chip cookies*

Obā-san · 2013-09-27 23:54:56

the most bestest kind of cookie in all actuality is cookies with a nice glass o milk =w=

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-27 23:58:17

Cookies and milk go well together.

Alduin · 2013-09-27 23:59:39

You people drink milk?

But...it's nipple-water...

Imipolex G · 2013-09-28 00:00:05

mmmmmmmm

milk is the best

Bunny · 2013-09-28 00:26:21

I am not a terribly big fan of milk by itself, but milk with other stuff is really quite great

Cereal w/milk, cooies w/milk, chocolate milk, etc.

Viani · 2013-09-28 00:45:45

Agenda-Driven Chocolate Flavor Hypnotism. I think we all agree chocolate cookies are the best.

Alduin · 2013-09-28 06:53:28

Nipple-water drinkers.

Fossilmaiden · 2013-09-28 09:48:38

American English to British English: To solve the bizarreness of you people calling every biscuit a cookie. :|

Tachyon · 2013-09-28 10:15:14

peanut butter chocolate chip cookies

why would you do this

Tachyon · 2013-09-28 10:23:44

Personal Soundtrack: generates fitting music to accompany the caster's actions

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-28 22:08:59

Transformation Sequence Changing Tent: Keeps out dangerous attacks and skeevy upskirt shots during lengthy transformations into one's fabulous secret identity.

Projected Psychotropic: Get your opponents too high to fight (or move, or recognise their surroundings) with the snap of your fingers. Strains of "Are You Experienced?" optional.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-28 22:22:06

may I have "Purple Haze" instead

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-28 22:24:35

Sure!

*blasts Pillows into mental oblivion to the main riff of "Purple Haze"*

Yarrun XIX · 2013-09-28 22:27:48

Empathy Beam: Transmits emotions from one mind to another. Tell the world exactly how you feel.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-28 22:35:07

If you have ever seen the first episode of Kino's Journey... you might want to limit your use of that.

Viani · 2013-09-29 21:32:20

Desoy Food. So I never have to eat Soy filler again.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-10-01 01:25:33

Multiply Available Ice Cream Flavours: Don't like Vanilla? How about Coffee? Rocky Road? Cotton Candy? Green Tea? Blueberry? Nutmeg? African Violet? Armagnac...?

Viani · 2017-01-28 09:27:12

Postmordernism Beam. Fire a beam that removes enlightenment and macro-culturalism, and projects a sense of understanding through mathematical application and constructive skeptivism.

If you were a Spell Tome Maker....

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