Today, we're going to be playing Tohomon Blue. You may be wondering why I'm not spelling it "Touhoumon", if Touhou is spelled the way it is, and the answer to that is that "Tohomon" is just how it's spelled on the title screen.
I don't know why that is, but I'm not going to question it.
Anyway, if you don't know what Touhou is, or have heard the name before but don't really know what it's about. I can perhaps best sum it up by saying that it's your average insanely hard shoot-'em-up (like say, Radiant Silvergun or DoDonPachi) with the fighter spaceships and elaborate mechanical designs common to that genre replaced with little girls*, fairies, witches, quintillions of different kinds of youkai, vampires, and maids, to name just a few. They're made by a dude named ZUN (aka "Team Shanghai Alice"), and they're pretty difficult. They're also memetic as fuck.
If you don't know what Pokemon is, I have to question where you've been since the 90's.
Now, I've played Tohomon before (and indeed this very version, and they are all quite different), but never all the way through to the end. So the latter half of this will be blind.
*technically, they only look little because of ZUN's lacking art skills. But whatever.
Now, lettuce begin.
This is literally the first thing we see after hitting the start button (Enter on the VisualBoy Advance GBA emulator), I don't know what it means, but I've seen it before and it doesn't seem to effect gameplay, so meh.
So, the first thing the game gives us is the intro. This is the same as it is on Pokemon LeafGreen and FireRed, which the game is a mod of.
You'll note that despite this game lacking any Pokemon, Pikachu is still up there in the corner. Little inconsistencies like this are probably my only major gripe with the game, but they are kind of annoying.
Now after hitting "A", we're greeted by the familiar face of Professor Oak. But--shock and amazement!--he actually has a Touhou by him instead of, what is it usually? Sandshrew, I think.
for anyone questioning the morality of battling with little girls though, some of the other Tohomon games (which actually change the plot) note that they're magic puppets or something. So it's totally okay! Obviously.
First up, we're going to be making our player character. Now, I'm actually going to decide this myself for two reasons, one is that Tohomon does not let you pick your character's gender, two is that I'd like to actually start the game this session even if we don't get much done. The game does, I'll note, let you decide if you're a Tomboy or a Lady. This lets you pick which character model you use (based on the minor Touhou characters Renko Usami and Maribel Hearn respectively.) I'll be picking Tomboy because....well, I'm a boy. And that's about as close as you can get in this game to actually being a boy.
I'll be making my name Natalie, since my actual name is Nathan and I'm pretty sure Natalie is the feminine form thereof.
I totally forgot about having to name the rival.
So for convenience's sake, I'm just gonna call him Gary. Lazy I know, but frankly in these games I could not give even half a damn about the rival. He's just sort of a generic jerk and I've never felt he adds much to gameplay (and yes, I have played the original generation games all the way through. And I still don't think he does).
Aaaand here's us.
In our room. A cozy affair, plus we've got a game system and our own TV and computer. What more could a little girl ask for?
So now we're going to go talk to our mother.
...who is apparently still in denial about the fact that she didn't have a son.
and we're told that the weird professor next door wants to see us.
and of course he's not there. Oh, but look who is!
Fuck you, Gary Stu. Profoundly.
So now we head north to find the Tohomon Prof. (whose name no longer alliterates, sadly)
Where we are stopped by the good professor himself. Who informs us that wild Touhou live in the tall grass (this is way more dangerous than it sounds. Ever tried dodging danmaku?)
We are then told we need our own Touhou. For protection. And totally not for a savage loli-fighting bloodsport.
So the Prof. takes us back to his lab, where we're given the whole spiel by an inpatient Gary. If you've ever played even ten seconds of a Pokemon game, you're very familiar with this shtick.
Also, Touhou are apparently held inside Toho Orbs. Which are seriously not Pokeballs at all why would you think that.
And this is where we're given our choice of three Touhoes.
First up we've got The Miko Touhou, Reimu (Techincally, CReimu or "Chibi" Reimu. All Touhoumon are C[Name] in their first forms. Just their names in their second, and if they have a third E[Name], the E standing for Extra.) She is Normal, and later acquires the Flying type.
Second, we've got Sakuya, the Maid Touhou. Her types are Ice and later Steel if memory serves. I'll be honest in saying that this is the Touhou I'd pick if I were playing alone, as it's the only one I've not yet played with at least a bit. But it is ultimately the audience decision.
Lastly, we've got Marisa, the Witch Touhou. She is Electric, and later also Fire.
Anyway, I'm going to stop there. Because I want you guys to pick which starter Touhoe I'm going to be using. And also what I should nickname it, if anything. (NOTE: If your answer to that is "nothing" please put "No Nickname")
I should also note that it is possible to acquire alternate versions of both Reimu and Marisa later in the game (though not both, if memory serves). Just something to keep in mind.
So! I'll resume the game either sometime tomorrow or whenever I have what I deem to be a sufficient enough amount of votes (only like five people are reading right now afaik, so that's like what, three?).
ZESTPOOLE THE SAKUYA -- WINNER!
Nicknames: Zestpoole (IIx), N/A (II), Athene ( )
Nicknames: Heapette (I)
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