That awkward moment where you aren't who you thought you were

Obā-san

Or: how I ended up careening off the rails in only nineteen words

Alternately: Because I'm me, a mostly-not-relevant David Byrne moment:

How did I get here?

A person's self-image is the mental picture, generally of a kind that is quite resistant to change, that depicts not only details that are potentially available to objective investigation by others (height, weight, hair color, gender, I.Q. score, etc.), but also items that have been learned by that person about himself or herself, either from personal experiences or by internalizing the judgments of others. A simple definition of a person's self-image is their answer to this question - "What do you believe people think about you?".

Well, I actually have to start somewhere, so I'll start at the beginning. Not the beginning of this story (*I'll get there though*) but at the beginning of where the story starts.

Here.

 Inane's wonderfully witty sass

sass  (ss) Informal

n.

Impertinent, disrespectful speech; back talk.

tr.v. sassed, sass·ing, sass·es

To talk impudently to.

Seems pretty innocuous. Compliments are good. Lots of people, smart people, have rapier-like wit. An ability to see to the heart of an issue combined with endless world-weary sardonicism. 

God I fucking hate those people.

I've always prided myself on certain things. Honesty. Loyalty. Not making excuses. Being there for anybody who needed somebody. Being a good brother and a good son. An endless, overflowing ability to believe that things are gonna work out no matter what. (*I've had to, it's kept me sane through some crazy shit*)

And at some point I ended up pretty far away from that. Like, really far. After that, I did some soul searching. And stuff. This isn't very well thought out, but bear with me. It will make sense. Or it would, but now this post is too long. Oh well. >_> Sorry.

Obā-san

I should have doubleposted, but I forgot you can do that here. durrrrr.

tl;dr

So sorry if i've been a jerk in the past, I'm going to be working on that.

Obā-san

And now this makes like no sense.

Salix Babylonika

Well, you do seem a bit prickly at times but I certainly forgive you. I assume anyone else who was affected will as well.

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The user and all related content has been deleted.

Bunny

Near as I can tell, you start to lash out when you get really stressed.

All things considered, that's completely understandable.

You need more hugs.

Obā-san

Thanksh. But a reason isn't an excuse, this is something I've gotta work on.

So PM me and tell me to just calm down or leave for a bit if I get like that again, ok?

Bunny

Sounds good to me!

I'll crack the proverbial whip! And the literal one if you're feeling a little frisky

Obā-san

Oh my~

Bunny

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The user and all related content has been deleted.

Tre

I've yet to actually be offended by, well, practically anything said here, now that I think about it.

So you're fine by me. :)

Salix Babylonika

So PM me and tell me to just calm down or leave for a bit if I get like that again, ok?

You have my bow word.

thenamelesssamurai

I've only seen you lash out at someone once or twice in the time I've known you and you apologized for it pretty quickly. And to be honest, while I've seen you prickly a few times, you're a lot more enjoyable to be around, because you can actually keep your critical thinking capacities (or at least to a certain extent) more than some people when you get upset, which makes you easier to talk to. 

Viani

It ain't no thang, forgiven.

Eelektross

Oh hey there.

Want me to be honest with you, man?

Obā-san

Sure.

Eelektross

My first major exposure to you was in the Don't Panic thread, where you were flaming Halper. You claimed that making fun of him was "basic human decency", which I found rather jerkish. I mean he was being thin-skinned, but judging by the reactions he had stated that he didn't like being insulted (which you were kinda doing).

So my first impression of you was kinda not the best.

Obā-san

That wasn't my best moment yeah.

And it was angry and incoherent, I snapped at him because I was angry at pretty much every post before he showed up.

But I did apologize via PM later.