If you had 18 acres of land in Chicago

Anonus

What would you build on it?

glennmagusharvey

Where in Chicago?  What's its neighborhood like?

Anonus

Here

Fossilmaiden

The Deepest Dish Pizza.

And then I'd build an anti-pineapple razor wire topped perimeter fence.

Klinotaxis

i start digging. dig out this big deep bunker complex. fifty floors down at least. and i pile up all the dirt on top of the plot. none of it leaves. it's a big ol' hill. on the edges of the hill i build a few small buildings and rent em out.  on top of the hill (with a few long stairways leading up) there's a nice little park. the park is shaped like a garden, like it has fenced off areas and stuff, but it's totally unmaintained, the plants are anyway. every so often i get someone to fix up the fencing without weeding. and in the hill i have this little cave system. artificial. nothing too fancy. i mean it's not really caves, it's packed earth. there are some entraces accessible from the top. but it's twisty and easy to get lost. i spread a rumor that you can get into the bunker from the caves. it's bullshit though. to get in you go to one of the rented business, which i actually run, illegally, which is important, and it's a bookshop, and you do this special knock in one of the back rooms. then in the bunker i do human experimentation. i mean i hire people to do human experimentation, mostly, but i do so too. i get all the subjects from high-end brothels around chicago. i only take the unimportant people, though. c-list celebrities. and the purpose of this experimentation, see, is to figure out how to use humans for daily tasks. so we'll be like, okay, what are we going to do today? we're going to figure out how to use a human as a desk. and we get the guy and we stand him on all fours and maybe put some long bolts on his limbs so he can stay like that without getting too tired. or we're like okay how can we make a human fat frier? so we open up their jaw and all and we figure out how to heat up the saliva and make it more oily. and then, this is the real devious part, we get patents on all these designs, and don't produce them. so when someone else makes human luggage or whatever, we sue em and make fucking bank!

Princess Alice

That post was AMAZING.

Imipolex G

I was gonna say "sell it" but Klino's idea is better

Salix Babylonika

Klinotaxis said:

i start digging. dig out this big deep bunker complex. fifty floors down at least. and i pile up all the dirt on top of the plot. none of it leaves. it's a big ol' hill. on the edges of the hill i build a few small buildings and rent em out.  on top of the hill (with a few long stairways leading up) there's a nice little park. the park is shaped like a garden, like it has fenced off areas and stuff, but it's totally unmaintained, the plants are anyway. every so often i get someone to fix up the fencing without weeding. and in the hill i have this little cave system. artificial. nothing too fancy. i mean it's not really caves, it's packed earth. there are some entraces accessible from the top. but it's twisty and easy to get lost. i spread a rumor that you can get into the bunker from the caves. it's bullshit though. to get in you go to one of the rented business, which i actually run, illegally, which is important, and it's a bookshop, and you do this special knock in one of the back rooms. then in the bunker i do human experimentation. i mean i hire people to do human experimentation, mostly, but i do so too. i get all the subjects from high-end brothels around chicago. i only take the unimportant people, though. c-list celebrities. and the purpose of this experimentation, see, is to figure out how to use humans for daily tasks. so we'll be like, okay, what are we going to do today? we're going to figure out how to use a human as a desk. and we get the guy and we stand him on all fours and maybe put some long bolts on his limbs so he can stay like that without getting too tired. or we're like okay how can we make a human fat frier? so we open up their jaw and all and we figure out how to heat up the saliva and make it more oily. and then, this is the real devious part, we get patents on all these designs, and don't produce them. so when someone else makes human luggage or whatever, we sue em and make fucking bank!

if someone said

"how would you describe your internet pal, Klinotaxis?"

I'd first say "well that's a weird thing to just ask someone"

but if I were coerced somehow, such as by threat of force, I might direct them to this post, among several others, but this post definitely.

And then we sue em.

Salix Babylonika

and make fucking bank