Vorpy's Gonna Vorp: The Pseudothread of Mordantly Post-Ironic Ultraviolent Macrocancer

Tanya

glennmagusharvey

poppo = devil = goat

Viani

Last night I finally opened up to him. As crass and vile as I like to talk about sex (vorpy gonna vorp) this was one of the only times it was a sweet, sensual, bonding thing. It was carnal but pure, perfect, scintillating and all-consuming. Except for one thing.

Apparently when I was on-top the condom broke and he came inside. I assured him it was fine, i'm on birth control for this very reason. "No, I'm HIV positive." 

[Insert Gif Here]

Nice time to tell me now. 

THANKS! YOU COULD'VE FUCKING TOLD ME THAT 3 MONTHS AGO?? MAYBE TOLD ME WHEN I ASKED "YOU DONT HAVE ANY STDS OR ANYTHING DO YOU?" WHEN I SAW YOU PUTTING ON THE CONDOM!? His excuse for not telling me bordered on "I didn't want to lose the chance to be with you for the first time" & "You would've said no"</sniveling lying little faggot cocksucker>etc.

LIKE YUP, THAT'S THE BIOLOGICAL DRIVE, PEOPLE. CUMMING INSIDE A PRETTY LADY FOR 5 SECONDS > LETTING HER LIVE A DISEASE FREE LIFE

ADVICE FOR THE YEARNING HEAPERS WHO WANT TO FIND LOVE

LIE ABOUT NOT HAVING HIV

YOU KNOW THAT GIRL YOU PAY SO MUCH ATTENTION TO?

STOP ORBITING HER BRO

DON'T BE THE ONE WHO MISSES OUT ON GIVING HER HIV

YOU BE BRAVE, YOU GO UP TO HER, YOU BE HONEST AND DEVELOP A FRIENDSHIP WITH HER, BE THERE FOR HER, BRING HER TO THE SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING WENT WRONG, AND UNDO THE MEMORIES TIED THERE.

YOU KNOW HOW SHE REGRETS ALL OF THAT EVIL PAST SHIT AND FEARS GOING TO THAT ONE PLACE, JUST GO THERE WITH HER. HOLD HER HAND, AND WHEN SHE HAS AN ANXIETY ATTACK AND WANTS TO COLLAPSE HOLD HER UP, AND LIE TO HER.

GO "I'LL BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT WENT WRONG" 

pretend you mean it

DONT CALL HER SEXY OR BABE OR GORGEOUS

Call her SOMEBODY WORTH PROTECTING. CALL HER REDEEMED. CALL HER NOT GUILTY. MAKE HER FEEL THAT HER PAST DOESN'T DEFINE WHO SHE IS FOREVER, THAT SHE CAN START AGAIN.

AND THEN LIE ABOUT HIV

RIGHT THERE ON THAT COUCH. COME IN AND LAUGH AT RETARDED MEMES WITH HER. TALK ABOUT HOW YOU LOVE HER MAKEUP, AND HOW SHE LOOKS JUST AS GORGEOUS WITHOUT IT.

Sneak a shy kiss on her cheek, make her blush for the first time in a very long time. ACQUIRE EVERY BIT OF ENERGY IN YOUR BODY TO DISPLAY YOUR LITTLE AFFECTION.

but in all seriousness, it was the cutest thing ever.

SO WHATEVER I'M GOING OFF TOPIC

HEAPERS, IF YOU TRULY WANT TO FIND LOVE, DON'T TELL GIRLS YOU DEEPLY CARE ABOUT, ABOUT YOUR DISEASES.

THEY'RE JUST CUM DUMPSTERS AFTER ALL, BRUH.

WOMEN ARE STUPID. IF YOU ASK THEM IF THEY'RE CLEAN JUST SAY "Of Course! (feat. M-Bison)" and then proceed to let her lead you to the bed and be the MAIN ANTAGONIST OF HER LIFE FOREVER

JUST SQUIRT TILL YOU HURT, BOYS! GET THAT DISEASY CUM ALL UP IN HER VAGINAL CREASE, and then deliver the whammy line

YOU JUS GOT HIVED, YA DUMB BETCH! HA HA!

-------------------

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

FUCKING DIE

TODAY IS A WONDERFUL DAY TO [DO THE THING]

Salix Babylonika

holy fucking hell what an awful human being

I am so so so sorry that happened to you. You should see a doctor as soon as you can but you probably know that already

I really don't know what else to say. 

God, what a....what a fucking douchebag

glennmagusharvey

That sounds like an absolutely horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst of enemies, much less anyone I'd be interested in sexual relations with.

Sorry to hear about it, but simply "sorry" doesn't seem to anywhere near enough at this point.

Viani

#DO THE THING

DO-THE-THING

DO IT MOTHER FUCKER

LETS JUST COMMIT [DO THE THING] AND BE FREE

FOR FUCKS SAKE I COULD JUST BLEED OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND THEN PEOPLE WILL GO "LOLWUT K" AND THEN WONDER WHY MY LAST ACTIVITY WAS 533 DAYS AGO AND GO "LOL YA SHE WAS FUN BUT FUCK HER"

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[DO THE THING]

You [DO THE THING] those gentle wrists, clean, porcelain and untouched.

Put that [DO THE THING] around your neck and [DO THE THING]

THE THING IS GREAT, AND MUST BE DONE.

HER NAME WAS SUE AND SHE LOVED CIDE, THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY CAME TOGETHER.

MY FAVORITE SHIP IS SueCide! #FANGIRL RIOT #DIE FOR OUR SHIP MOTHER FUCKER

ANYONE ELSE WANNA FUCK ME? COME ON! ~LETS DO IT (Nightcore Remix)~

WHY STOP AT ONE WHEN I CAN HAVE THEM ALL

LETS GET 31 IVS IN MY HERPES, MAYBE CATCH A MODEST SYPHILIS ( I HEARD THEY WRECK SPECIAL SWEEPER TEAMS) AND MAYBE I CAN FINISH UP MY STI REGION COLLECTION!

ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS CUMMING? THATS GREAT

CUM IN ME

CUM WITH WILD ABANDON

I WONT BE AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO SUFFER ANYWAY

CUZ WE ABOUT TO DO THE THING MUFUKA

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

CUZ YOU INFECTED ME IN DA BED

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

CUZ I THINK I WANTED TO GIVE YOU HEAD

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

THERE AINT NO CURE AND AINT NO MED

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

I DONT WANT MY BRAIN COVERED IN LEAD

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

"I'M DISEASE FREE, LOVE" IS WHAT HE SAID

CHAIR DOWN, HANGING DEAD

DYING TOO EARLY, JUST LIKE NED

------------------------

l-o-v-e inside of me~

h-i-v inside of me~

l-o-v-e inside of me~

h-i-v inside of me~

l-o-v-e inside of me~

h-i-v inside of me~

l-o-v-e inside of me~

h-i-v inside of me~

--------------------------------------------------------

I can feel it in my blood, screaming, wiggling, destroying me slowly. Undoing this body, punishing me for my crimes.

However, it is not malice. HIV wouldn't hurt me, just like...he...wouldn't hurt me. HIV is trustworthy. It would never lie to me.

It whispers to me as I cry right here

"I only want to be free"

I can see it struggling in my wrists, it doesn't want to kill me, its trapped here in my body.

"I don't want to hurt you, I only want to be free"

Don't worry, poor fragile plague. I'll set you free.

We can be free together.

Salix Babylonika

Viani

I know this feels like the end of the world right now and you are absolutely allowed to feel that way

but please, please don't hurt yourself.

glennmagusharvey

^ Very much this.

Also definitely going to emphasize: doctor, ASAP.

Crystal

Jane said:

Viani

I know this feels like the end of the world right now and you are absolutely allowed to feel that way

but please, please don't hurt yourself.

Salix Babylonika

I posted that before realizing she was already at a clinic, so the doctor part is taken care of.

"Don't hurt yourself" remains top thing though.

Imipolex G

wow

SF_Sorrow

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Princess Alice

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Anonus

Central Avenue said:

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Calica

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Section42L

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Lunate

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Salix Babylonika

I hope she's alright....

Viani

Making these posts is usually easy.

Type regularly.

Confess.

Throw in wacky formatting shit.

and shitposts you made from 5 years ago together

To disguise what you really feel in inane shit ramblings and 4chan level garbage.

Mostly because I'm afraid of opening up utterly and truly.

Afraid of showing a tender sliver of myself just to have it shot at. Have it scorned. Have it brushed off and ignored.

"HEY IF YOU MAKE SHITTY THINGS ON PURPOSE, NEGATIVE RECEPTION IS BASICALLY GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT?"

#UseHashtagsToSarasticallyScornYourself #LikeSo #ATTENTIONWHORESYNDROME #Easy Has-Been #SoftSkinned #LiberalWeakling

HEY VORPY THIS ISN'T RANDOM, OVERLY OFFENSIVE AND FUNNY WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

𝕚 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗.

Thinking about killing myself, in that moment, was one of the most exciting things in my entire life.

You think back on everything people have ever said to you, their annoyance, their eye-rolls and boo's, their distaste for your existence, their outright scorn, their well-painted distaste for anything you say and your general existence, and you discover the one thing in the entire world that would make them like you.

"I liked the part where she finally did something right. So admirable."

You've committed to despair, and suddenly you are looking to the people who would think your death was amusing, and you are waving to them with starry eyes and a crazed look on your face. They're smiling, you're giving them what they want, and they like it. 

That isn't all though. Making everyone who dislikes you happy isn't the only thing that makes saying "goodbye world" so fucking appealing.

𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔂𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮. 

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓫𝓮 𝓪 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓻.

You come to them, broken, confused, angry at yourself and unsure you can trust anybody because being honest is LITERALLY [TOO FUCKING HARD]. I can't BOLD THIS HARD ENOUGH FOR EMPHASIS. This text isn't even black enough to represent how fucking hard I'm trying to prove this point.

I go over every decision I've made in the past three months, thinking I am finally improving. 

Only to have something this fucked up dropped on me again.

He was innocent and benign at first.

He was pure, never touched by the horrible world of romance and heartbreak. Wasn't about rebounds or upgrades or #SAVAGE bullshit.

He didn't come to me asking for nudes, he didn't approach me drooling over every panty slip, every visible bra strap, over every picture I posted that was not a classic christian portrait. I could just be me around him. I didn't catch him stroking his dick with some nasty troglodyte expression on his face.

Some days I even wondered if he found me attractive at all when he drew with me across the table.

I could talk about game-shit, writing-shit, internet-shit and art-shit with him, without him going "durrr gurls who liek stuf lyk this ur rlly rare bruh"

He was a GOOD PERSON. He wanted to improve himself. Make himself better. And he did.

Not only that, I could "vorp" with him. VORP. Its weird how I adapted that word to describe my South Park sponge-bob level deranged ramblings and what not. 

The thing was, I was scared that he would think I am a slut. That I was unlady like. That I was trashy. That the attention I get from other guys would make him paranoid, make him think I wanted to drag him into the darker world.  He plucked words out of every girl's teenage dream and put his own spin on them that made me blush in ways that others have tried and failed.

I saw all the signs of somebody worthy of my heart when I finally broke down, went nuts with my rage and my regret, wanted to push everyone away and maybe do the world a favor and cancel my life forever. I said he was a faggot, that he was stupid for liking a crazy bitch like me, that he was a worthless gamer autistic fuckfaced retard that would never get laid and other horrible things. I was trying to CUT HIM TO THE FUCKING BONE and destroy him.

And he hugged me. He just held me there saying nothing. He wasn't angry, he wasn't harmed by my words at all. He just held me there and said "Let it out, I'm here for you." NOBODY FUCKING DOES THIS. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. NO REGULAR PERSON WOULD STICK AROUND FOR THIS. ALL OF THEM TURN AWAY. ALL OF THEM MOVE ON. YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING REAL.

He didn't. He let me scream and cry and in all of my rage and despair he still managed a soft smile. Those cute eyes peeking out from under his messy hair, he was soft, not muscular at all, but after all of this he stayed there.

It was in that moment I realized he was one of the best human beings I could ever meet, and I wanted to keep him in my life as long as I could. We continued to grow closer with every joke and every bullshit session, every walk home and every borrowed washer and dryer hour. He continued to bring light into my dark world. He continued to be the innocent boy to my dirty girl. His naive simpleness against my extremeness was such a nice thing to bounce off of. I wanted to huggle him all the time, he was my best friend, I could even say I loved him.

I need to stop. I need to stop thinking of him fondly. I need to stop remembering the sweet things he's done for me. He's a fucking liar.

I wanted to take his virginity and give him the best first that somebody like him deserved. Only to discover so much more. 

It wasn't the first time he stuck his dick into another girl. Hell, wasn't his second either. Apparently this fucking beast had practice before me, and he had something fucking fetid coursing through his blood as proof of that. 

I WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH.

I WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO COMFORT THROUGH MY DARKEST TIMES.

I WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE CALLED "THE ONLY WOMAN HE COULD EVER LOVE" 

I WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR HIM TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL SICK AND ALMOST FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO MISS OUR REGULAR CHAT SESSION, THAT MY MENTAL HEALTH WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NOT FUCKING DYING OR WHATEVER

BUT I WASN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIV FROM SOME BITCH HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT

I WASN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH NOT TO BE LIED TO, AND NOT EVEN A SIMPLE "YES" WHEN I ASKED IF HE WAS CLEAN.

Like, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO AFTER THAT?

WHEN SOMEBODY WHO DOES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR YOU, WHO COMES OUT FROM THE DARK OF THE WORLD LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING ANGEL, SOME IMPOSSIBILITY, BEING EVERYTHING YOU NEED, BUT THEN DECIDING THAT GETTING HER TO SLIDE UP AND DOWN YOUR DICK FOR A COUPLE MORE MINUTES IS WORTH THE RISK OF MAYBE RUINING HER FUCKING LIFE!?

IS THIS AMBIGUOUS AT ALL, BECAUSE IF IT IS I'D LIKE TO FUCKING KNOW.

Me: "Have you ever had sex with anyone else before me?"

Him: "No. I'm a virgin." <---LIES

--------------------------------------------------------------

YEAH TRUSTING PEOPLE IS A TERRIBLE FUCKING IDEA. 

𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕣.

Hexartes

I'm so, so sorry.

Alduin

that's...terrible. That's disgusting and contemptible and you don't deserve it.

Viani

𝓐𝓼𝓴 𝓜𝓮 𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

Do you still love him?

No. 

𝓐𝓼𝓴 𝓜𝓮 𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

Will you forgive him?

No. If he can lie about this, he can lie about anything. 

𝓐𝓼𝓴 𝓜𝓮 𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

Do you still feel alone?

Jane said:

holy fucking hell what an awful human being

I am so so so sorry that happened to you. You should see a doctor as soon as you can but you probably know that already

I really don't know what else to say. 

God, what a....what a fucking douchebag

glennmagusharvey said:

That sounds like an absolutely horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst of enemies, much less anyone I'd be interested in sexual relations with.

Sorry to hear about it, but simply "sorry" doesn't seem to anywhere near enough at this point.

Jane said:

Viani

I know this feels like the end of the world right now and you are absolutely allowed to feel that way

but please, please don't hurt yourself.

glennmagusharvey said:

^ Very much this.

Also definitely going to emphasize: doctor, ASAP.

Crystal said:

Jane said:

Viani

I know this feels like the end of the world right now and you are absolutely allowed to feel that way

but please, please don't hurt yourself.

Jane said:

I posted that before realizing she was already at a clinic, so the doctor part is taken care of.

"Don't hurt yourself" remains top thing though.

Imipolex G said:

wow

Imipolex G said:

wow

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Central Avenue said:

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Calica said:

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Section42L said:

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Lunate said:

SF_Sorrow said:

jesus fuck

I hope thou'lt be OK and not be infected :(

Jane said:

I hope she's alright....

Kexruct said:

I'm so, so sorry.

Alduin said:

that's...terrible. That's disgusting and contemptible and you don't deserve it.

No. Not anymore.

This is enough to keep what fire in my heart remains from dying out. The flame that warms my insides though, feels almost dead. 

The seconds still feel like hours.

The hours still feel like days.

I'm still holding my phone hypersensitive to every hum and every vibration hoping it is my answer.

He has stopped texting.

He tried to come over, but the only thing I could do is lay on my bed.

He knocked for 5 minutes, and gave up.

You've got what you wanted. You got to have sex with me. Shouldn't guys like you move along the moment you cum? Do you think you can make everything better like you used to? What ulterior motive do you have? That you can console me, make everything better? Use the "im undetected, you might not have it" line again, hope that it might increase your chance at having sex with me from 0% to 1% again? No. Go home. Never speak to me again.

If I'm infected I'm NOT settling for you. I'm not falling for that sunk cost fallacy. "You're already infected, so why not just stay with me?" as the fallacy goes. 

The grossest thing ever though, is knowing that I have devolved.

I used to pride myself on my cleanliness, on my ability to choose suitable partners. From girls to guys, I chose the best. I never settled for less. I never chose wrong. I was never a stupid slut, never the poor naive cheerleader who accidentally got knocked up too early in high school. Never the girl who chose a boyfriend that caves her face in with a drunken fist and stockholms her into staying. Never the girl who is so afraid of change she will never leave somebody who makes her unhappy. I was smart. Was.

Is making sure to do background checks on the next person I care about even going to be enough? It's like this virus is his signature, and he tattoo'd his name to me and I'll never be rid of it. Once that test comes up, and I'm marked as positive, I'll be his property. 

When I yearn for a lover's touch, I have to tell them, won't I? I don't want to be like him.

I don't know what I'm worried about. Guys will do anything to have sex with pretty girls. It's probably why he's infected at all. "I can't be with you, I have HIV." "Carpe diem. -unzips dick-" Yup. As sexist and assumptious as I can be, that's got to be it.

[Its not too late to kill yourself.]

Day two of no sleep. Day two of hugging a pillow. I've never felt a depression like this before. It's all-consumng, numbing. 

It's letting me be logical now because it knows I have no way to escape. Like some kind of sadistic ploy. "Don't forget, you're here forever."

Viani

Thank you for the support everyone.

I was so expecting a "oh, ok. -scrolls away-" kind of response for some reason and I feel actually really shitty for assuming that about you all.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I haven't told anyone on Facebook about what happened to me because I'm scared of my immediate family finding out, my IRL friends finding out.

Not only will they know about my sex life, but the fact that I might be infected. How do you tell people you care about, about it?

I've been getting texts, people asking me where I've been. There are rumors of people seeing me at the hospital. They're worried. I don't know what to say.

Salix Babylonika

You should try to get some rest, Vi.

This sort of thing will not blow over in a day, but eventually it will stop consuming so much of your time and energy. 

Crystal

Anyone worth half a damn is not going to think less of you for contracting something you never wanted, let alone something you had reasonable justification for not worrying about. If they care, they will actually understand, and not try to exploit you, is how I go about these things. I know saying to go on what is essentially faith can be hard, especially if you've been so exploited, but... you can tell one person at a time, or not at all. Handle it yourself and with the professionals, or with people you know aren't shitbags.

My suggestion is to get some rest, surround yourself with positive imagery and people, tell the people who have contacted that you just haven't been feeling well, and taking care of yourself until you have the strength to... progress how you desire. You're not a lesser person for your disease nor your struggling with it, so just try to better yourself for now, including getting some rest, please.

glennmagusharvey

Don't fret over having assumed the wrong thing about us.  That is so least of your problems it's not even a problem.

If I had a time machine I'd send it to you.

I dunno if it might help, but I recently finished watching an anime series called Cross Ange, in which a girl is quite resentful toward the world around her, and for good reason.  And it was a pretty gratifying ride to watch her work to get her revenge.  I wonder if it might be something that might speak to you right now.  (I admit that having seen your story motivated me to finish it, so that even if I could do nothing to help you, at least I could try to empathize, in spirit.)

I also admit that this information, regarding what happened to you, actually hung on my mind the day I read it.  In a "it kept on bothering me, that such a thing had happened" way.  I found it a little odd since I barely even know you.  But maybe, just maybe, it was worth something.

glennmagusharvey

edit: accidental doublepost, don't mind me.

Viani

That and the POINT™️

IS TO TIRE YOURSELF OUT™️

SMASHING ON THE KEYS LIKE AN [NOPE]TISTIC [NOPE]ID. [[[[[[[[[[[[YO CANT SAY DAT ON HEEPRS BRUH]]]]]]]]]

BRUH

Snapchat plz ;)

ⓘ ⓒⓐⓝ'ⓣ ⓕⓤⓒⓚⓘⓝⓖ ⓓⓞ ⓣⓗⓘⓢ ⓐⓛⓛ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓣⓘⓜⓔ

JɄ₴₮ ₱Ʉ₮ ₳ⱠⱠ Ø₣ ɎØɄⱤ Ɽ₳₲Ɇ

Into a couple of brackets until you get so sick of being tired

Tired of being angry at yourself

Tired of feeling like you want to die

To the point you're exhausted

And can barely read the shit you slung across this little yellow box

and it becomes funny

You read over it

Scrutinizing every overly exaggerated word

and realizing that the person who wanted to die

who wanted to slit their wrists

who wanted to eat sleeping pills

who just wanted to stop breathing

who wanted to bring him back home

so you could kill him in the privacy of your own home

isn't around anymore (you too can pretend to be a drug-addled psychopath with the magic of a couple wikipedia articles! Just like Joan. I fucking know you're faking it bitch. You can't "Cycle".)

Keeping the shame public keeps them hidden away

Because we all know that depressive side is never going away. There's horrible things outside. Horrible things in the real world.

You get rid of her, the world's gonna bring her right back.

Feeble and sad, reaching out for a hug because she's all alone.

But you don't need that needy, broken bitch inside of you, making it worse. stop potholing joji in everything

You can take this.

Shit's not that bad yet.

Whiny emo suicidal outrage bitch, look at what you did, all of this weird crap. Clean up this fucking mess.

[Okay, I'm sorry. It's just [RANDOM INTERRUPTION]

You punch that crybaby in the fucking mouth for 220 damage!

Don't let her ruin your progress.

NOPE.AVI

We got some shit to do.

[THERAPY TECHNIQUE INTENSIFIES]

"You mean this isn't shitposting?"

/T/H/E/R/E/

/I/S/

/N/O/

/S/U/C/H/

/T/H/I/N/G/

/A/S//S/H/I/T//P/O/S/T/I/N/G/
𝓲 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮

𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓻𝔂

𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓶𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮?

 (𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓮_𝓮_𝓮𝓮_𝓸𝓱𝓱𝓱𝓱𝓱)

 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓼 

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮

"So artistic" -random worshipper

"Five Stars" -random worshipper

"you're vain as fuck if you think they're worshipping you" -random hater

"I retract my previous statement, if I didn't worship you maybe I would stop accusing you of fucking your boyfriend every time you leave my messages on "Seen"."-hater in denial

"This thread is like a window to your soul. Kind of? It's like going to those fancy aquariums with the tubes and tunnels except its in a septic plant and you can see used condoms, old cereal, corn and obscenely long turds floating everywhere. Some that don't even have any business being completely intact after the amount of abuse they endured coming down in this 55k gallon glass masterpiece. The ambiance of the brown light filtering through the piss clouds is relaxing though."

Because yes, you have to admire the sepia lights that can break through the piss clouds. That can cut through the aquarium of shit that is your life. Use those shit-colored auroras to find your way out of the darkness.

ＨＯＭＥＷＯＲＫ

Karisa: If you can guess the font you get to have sex with me.

Harpy: Already starting on being the next plaguespreader, aye?

Karisa: Who are you?

Helena: I am a clever disassociative identity disorder simulation meant to invoke a different wavelength of dialogue from your mind to impersonally respond to your weird post here.

Conrad: Yeah you're not clever.

Harpy: WE'RE NOT CLEVER.

Viani

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH YOUR USED CONDOMS (or your potatos) DOWN THE TOILET. IT IS DIRECTED INTO THE PRIMARY CITY WATER SUPPLY AND ITS MAKING MY HOT CHOCOLATE TASTE LIKE PENIS (AGAIN).

PROPER USED CONDOM DISPOSAL SHOULD BE DIRECTED TOWARDS MY VAGINA. RECYCLED MATERIALS ACCEPTED. MULTIPLE DEPOSITS RECOMMENDED.

-Department of Interrior Vaginal Megalophallopheliacs

Jane said:

You should try to get some rest, Vi.

This sort of thing will not blow over in a day, but eventually it will stop consuming so much of your time and energy. 

I lay down and close my eyes but I still don't sleep. 

Well, that's a lie.

I got to sleep just a little bit.

For maybe and hour.

Then I realized I was asleep.

I GOT SO FUCKING EXCITED I 

WOKE MYSELF UP

aaaaand we're back to this.

The part where Viani browses YT, Tumblbumblr and random Pixiv things (discovered Pixiv like literally and hour ago) and hoping sleep dep hits me hard enough to keep me down.

I've tried ZZZQUIL and Nyquil but with hit and miss success.

"WHAT IS THE VERDICT, SIR?"

"WE FIND THE DEFENDANT, VIANI COVINGTON, GUILTY OF THE CRIME OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH A LIAR. SHE SHALL BE SENTENCED TO INFECTUM PURGATORIUM WITH THE COOPERATIVE EFFORTS OF THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE SYSTEM AND THE STRANGE TENDRILS REMAINING OF THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT."

"FALLING IN LOVE WITH A LIAR IS A CRIME THAT CAN BE PUNISHED?"

"I DO BELIEVE ONE HAS TO COME TO THE COURT TO BECOME LEGALLY WED, DO YOU NOT?"

"THAT SIR, IS WHAT THE YOUNG PEOPLE CALL, SAVAGE?"

"YES, INDEED BARBARA. THIS IS MY WAY OF "REKTIFYING" THE PROBLEMS WITH OUR YOUTH."

------srs update-----

I don't know if I have HIV yet and even though I'm not on the verge of killing myself I'm feeling like I'm basically dying waiting for my results.

Like, this weekend is doing its fucking work on my body (no homo). I'm feeling weaker as time goes on. I can't even really cry anymore? Smiling is a bit hard. I can do the fake memer smile but not one of joy.

Maybe monday I'll get my call. Please monday.

Viani

{RESERVED FOR LATER SUICIDAL POST]

glennmagusharvey

I was wondering how you were doing.

Not exactly something I could ask about, but...yeah.

Tanya

SF_Sorrow

wishing thee the best of luck

Viani

Good News #1

I am HIV Negative. As in, no traces, conclusive tests, no ambiguousness. I am HIV Negative. I am not infected, I am untouched.

Good News #2

I love you all. Thank you for caring about me.

Good News #3

I eventually forgave him. I asked if we could be together, and he accepted.

Good News #4

IM NOT THAT FUCKING STUPID LOL NO, I might not be able to Triforce, but I can learn from my mistakes.

GOOD NEWS #5

 ‌ ▲
▲‌ ▲

Hexartes

Thank God. I'm so happy for you.

Lunate

Kexruct said:

Thank God. I'm so happy for you.

SF_Sorrow

yes

Odradek

Viani said:

Good News #1

I am HIV Negative. As in, no traces, conclusive tests, no ambiguousness. I am HIV Negative. I am not infected, I am untouched.

Good News #2

I love you all. Thank you for caring about me.

Good News #3

I eventually forgave him. I asked if we could be together, and he accepted.

Good News #4

IM NOT THAT FUCKING STUPID LOL NO, I might not be able to Triforce, but I can learn from my mistakes.

GOOD NEWS #5

 ‌ ▲
▲‌ ▲

Crystal

Kexruct said:

Thank God. I'm so happy for you.

Obā-san

congratulations on cucking death

Section42L

Yay!

lee4hmz

Good to hear, Viani!

Imipolex G

that's good to hear

Sredni Vashtar

Tamlin said:

congratulations on cucking death

While flexing and flipping it the bird before driving off into the sunset in your motherfucking hot rod.

Calica

good to hear!

glennmagusharvey

this is a welcome relief i guess

also an obscene statement of dismissal would be "fuck this guy" but, oh, the irony of English co-opting sexual terminology as swearwords

Tanya

goob jod viani

Klinotaxis

nice bait switch

Princess Alice

This is the best news I've read all day!!

Tre

:)