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Let's Start Our Own University

Princess AlicePrincess Alice
in General
If Donald Trump can do it, we can certainly do it better!

Post your Heap Resume and I'll consider you for a faculty position.
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  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png
    Name: Jane-Michelle Sofia Klezmer Oktavia Gretchen Kriemshild Zuckerzeit von Vokkelkopfken

    Age: 822

    Sex: Sure! Just wear protection

    Born: Germany or Japan, can't recall which

    Employed: Yes

    Skills: All

    Passions: Music & Sailing the stars on my magical broom

    Location: Saturn

    please hire me I will be a good teacher for the students and also I can raise the dead
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Name: Imicow

    Age: 290

    Sex: boobtastic

    Born: yes

    Employed: in a horrible dead end job please get me out of here pleeeeeaaaase

    Skills: guitar, spelling, Super Metroid speedrunning

    Passions: not having passions

    Location: the raketen-stadt

    I can't raise the dead but I can bore the living
  • TatterhoodTatterhood
    edited 2017-01-24 05:05:35
    Name: Dr. Lucy Catsarenotreal, Ph.D.
    Age: 32
    Sex: is also not real
    Born: Lucy
    Employed: self
    Skills: fake animal studies
    Passions: continuing to reference a nonsensepost I made months ago
    Location: the fake zoo
  • KlinotaxisKlinotaxis
    kill living beings
    Tze Tze
    (9) 555-0133-892 ext. 38, ask for "Mother"
    9 Avenue Street
    Royal Palace, Boring Stuff Annex
    Centralia

    Education: BS Computer Science Rutgers, MS Computational Thaumaturgy [scribbles]

    Certification and awards: A+, B+, ELF+, accessory OWLs, 5 Years Distinguished Service Medal, 10 Years How Have You Not Left Medal

    Skills: Making things less broken, or more broken if they're supposed to be that way

    My passion is filling out forms and taking more work because of the wild ideas of my variably aged employer.
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    Name: Yarrun

    Age: Too damn old

    Sex: That would be foolish

    Born: Happier

    Employed: *scoffs*

    Skills: It all comes down to luck anyway

    Passions: Survival

    Location: *scoffs*


  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    YOU'RE ALL HIRED

    though for some reason I have this funny feeling that Yarrun shouldn't be allowed near the parking lot
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    Name: Cat, [redacted], [redacted]
    age: unknown
    education: none needed
    occupations: otherworlds huntmister (third order), temporary lap animal
  • CaptainFordoCaptainFordo
    “One last glorious day in the Grand Army of the Republic.”
    Name: Fordo, Captain
    Age: Old enough to know better, still too young to care.
    Born: 32BBY
    Sex: Only if the helmets stay on.
    Occupation: Space Cowboy, carrier of weight.
    Skills: Once ate a week's worth of ration cubes without dying.
    Passions: Ponchos, pistol tricks, ladies in power armor, definitely not clankers.
    Location: Coming soon to a space bar near you.

    I'm here to teach the new Cowboy Degree. It's like the Pirate Degree, but the hats are different.
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