Why do retailers waste so much money trying to stop shoplifters?

All they need to do is hire someone to stand at the exit chanting "SWIPER, NO SWIPING!"

Comments

  • who gives a fuck about shoplifters
  • guy came in with an empty backpack

    left with a noticeably more full backpack, bought one t-shirt

    we all called it the moment he went upstairs
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    you're allowed to do that?
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Shoplifting from a thrift store is pretty pathetic though

    The only thing more pathetic would be shoplifting from, like, Dollar Tree
  • allowed to do what?
  • kill living beings
    the grocery store has a sign saying NO BAGS IN THE STORE ANY TIME, but they also sell reusable grocery bags. what do you want me to do, fuckers
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    best shoplifter was the guy who grabbed a calculator and ran straight for the door - except it was the "in" door and would only open from the outside.
  • kill living beings
    do people not pick up that it's better to act natural

    i mean that's cunning 101 you don't fuckin identify yourself as a criminal mastermind you just stick a dildo in your parka or whatever
  • image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.

    do people not pick up that it's better to act natural

    i mean that's cunning 101 you don't fuckin identify yourself as a criminal mastermind you just stick a dildo in your parka or whatever

    And that is why a master criminal can hide a heavy sniper rifle whilst completely naked.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

    allowed to do what?

    just let shoplifters go
  • what else are we supposed to do, chase some dude
  • I mean, we're probably technically supposed to do something but nobody gives a fuck
  • edited 2016-08-23 04:22:50

    if someone does like a really egregious tag swap I'll call a price check, unless there's a line
  • because the dudes in back take like, literally 5 minutes to reprice things

    even though they literally just stick whatever price they think makes sense off the top of their head on there
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Grandma works at Lowe's and she was really proud a few weeks ago because she apprehended a shoplifter

    It was kinda cute
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    we're instructed not to chase down shoplifters. Not worth it.

    instead, when shifty-looking people enter, we stalk them.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Grandma technically isn't supposed to stop shoplifters but she had the store security guy with her and he let her confront the lady herself
  • your grandma needs to be armed with laser eye beams
  • because the dudes in back take like, literally 5 minutes to reprice things

    even though they literally just stick whatever price they think makes sense off the top of their head on there

    I still really want to know why it takes this long

    I've been out on the floor, had a customer ask me to price something, you just run in, grab a sticker, put it on there, run back out

    it takes one minute, tops

    do they just not care about customer service??????
  • (spoiler alert: they don't care about customer service)
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

    the grocery store has a sign saying NO BAGS IN THE STORE ANY TIME, but they also sell reusable grocery bags. what do you want me to do, fuckers

    at grocery stores that aren't trader joe's there are usually signs that say "DON'T PUT SHIT IN YOUR REUSABLE BAGS BEFORE CHECKING OUT YOU FUCKERS" so that's their solution

    trader joe's probably just doesn't care because you can't walk out without passing the cashiers also their profitability derives from their german owners having the lance of longinus anyways
  • Calica said:

    trader joe's probably just doesn't care because you can't walk out without passing the cashiers also their profitability derives from their german owners having the lance of longinus anyways

    Age of Empires turns out to be right in that religious relics can generate money
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