KilgoreTrout plays Catwoman's Revenge (Arkham Knight DLC)

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• KilgoreTrout

  2016-09-02 13:01:11 edited 2016-09-02 13:02:53

  -The mooks talk about how Batman ended up putting most of the criminals in jail, how Penguin's boys aren't getting paid because Penguin lost all the weapons he was selling, Two-Face's boys aren't getting paid because Batman stopped their bank heists. But them, Riddler's boys? THEY are getting paid! God bless Nigma and his electronic account system.

  
  

  -A mook says that getting paid by Riddler makes him feel bad for all the times he cornered nerds in high school and made them eat their glasses. Another one points out that Riddler WAS gonna replace them all with robots. The reply is that using the robots didn't exactly work out for him, and that when Riddler gets out then this pack of "atavistic idiots" will no longer be facing their inevitable obs...(he can't remember the word "obsolescence")...you know, the robots.

  
  

  -One mook thinks about taking care of the robots right now, using the self-destruct. Another guy says that's a dumb idea because that's where the computers are too, and blowing up the computers means they don't get electronically paid! He berates the other mook and tells him they have to think more tactically if they're gonna outwit the machines.

  
  

  -A final bit of overheard mook chatter as I cling to the ceiling above their heads: one of these guys asks what happened last night. The other one says that the Arkham Knight turned out to be Joker all along! (I have no idea if the guy really believes this or if he's just bullshitting his friend.)

  
  

  -Catwoman drops behind one patrolling mook, pickpockets the keycard on his belt without him noticing, and leaps back up to the ceiling. She just needs two more.

  
  

  -The mook chatter is too good to NOT put in the post here. One mook says not to blame the robots; it's the supervillains who decide to use them instead of real people. But being a minion's all about the personal touch; after all, can a ROBOT make Riddler a cup of cocoa just the way he likes it. "Probably." "Metal sons of bitches!"

  
  

  -Here's some more: how did Riddler get so much money, anyway? Played the stock market. Or rather, he HACKED the stock market. Riddler said that he was smart enough to do it legit, but true geniuses don't have to prove themselves.

  
  

  -Two keycards stolen now. One mook has a question; are robots alive? The person he's talking to has to ask him to repeat that. He does, slowly, and calls the guy a dumbass because it's a simple question. The guy answers that NO, robots are NOT alive; he thinks technically they're a type of zombie. This answer is accepted without question.

  
  

  -Selina now has all three required keycards, with Riddler's boys still completely unaware that she's even in the building. She makes her way back to the terminal.
• KilgoreTrout

  2016-09-02 13:46:02

  -This is similar to Catwoman's mission in Arkham City where she needed three keycards to get into a vault. She lampshades it by wondering "Why is it always three keys?" as she inserts each one into the corresponding slot.

  
  

  -A door opens behind a mook, surprising him. Now they know that somethings up and they're keeping their eyes open, but the game tells me that Selina has locked the mooks out of Riddler's security system, meaning that if she's seen while taking one of them out it won't cause all the others to come running. And Selina DOES decide she should take them all out before moving on.

  
  

  -They've figured out it's Catwoman now (although at first they thought it might be Batman's ghost). One guy calls out to Catwoman that they didn't know Riddler was gonna kidnap her, he swears. Another guy asks if he missed the presentation about kidnapping Catwoman, with a slide show and everything. First guy tells him to SHUT UP.

  
  

  -"I thought Catwoman was a bad guy, like us!" "Not always." "Can we change her mind?!"

  
  

  -Another good one: "We can take her! She's not Batman!" "I wish Batman was still around to save us!" Hehe.

  
  

  -I love this dialogue! I'm sorry if it gets old for me to type up these exchanges verbatim, but I just love it so much. One guy is afraid she'll scratch their faces up like she did to Two-Face in Arkham City. Response? "No way! I ain't exfoliated all my life for it to end like this!"

  
  

  -All unconscious now. "Okay, that's the idiots taken care of," thinks Selina. "Now for the door."

  
  

  -There are four statues in front of the door. Selina wishes it were just a lock; she can pick locks. I momentarily don't know what to do, but then I notice that one of the statues matches a bigger statue nearby with the number 3 on it. Running around the shop I find another statue with the number 1 on it. So I figure that this tells me the correct order to push on the statues.

  
  

  -Selina solves the puzzle and the door opens. She moves on to an elevator and takes it down, but then the Riddler's voice rings out over the speakers. "Computer? Computer! It is I, your master!" A female computer voice greets the Riddler and tells him that he sounds very smart today. Riddler modestly thanks the computer, but says there is a matter most exigent. "Error: do not understand 'exigent'." An exasperated Riddler tells the computer it means "urgent". "Thank you, The Riddler."

  
  

  -Riddler goes on to say that the police currently have him immured--yup, computer doesn't know that word either. He snaps at the "idiotic machine" that it means imprisoned, incarcerated, banged up! "I don't know which is more corrupt: the prison-industrial complex or your vocabulary files."

  
  

  -The computer thanks him. Riddler decides there's no point in saying that it wasn't a compliment, and tells the computer that it would be a felicitous and appurtenant time to run the jailbreak protocol. "Error. Do not understand 'run'." Oh god, really? Riddler is as frustrated as you might expect anybody to be in his position and he tells the computer to run vocabulary diagnostics. But see, the computer still doesn't understand "run".

  
  

  -"Argh!" "Error. Do not understand 'argh'."

  
  

  -Riddler just tells the computer to shut up so that he can manually start the jailbreak protocol by using the keys on the phone he's using to write lines of code. Well, while he's busy doing that, Catwoman can explore the robot factory.

  
  

  -Catwoman moves to a terminal and uses it, which activates an elevator manual override. Riddler notices this and wonders what the hell's going on. "Hey Eddie," Catwoman asks. "Aren't you in prison?" Riddler says that no prison can hold him and then tells her to hold on a second, as he can be heard in the background assuring "Officer Cash" that he's just talking to his lawyer. He tells Catwoman to GET OUT.

  
  

  -Selina tells him to calm down, and explains what she's gonna do: steal all of his money and destroy everything he's built here. Okay? "NO!" Riddler shouts, and then has to cover for Cash's benefit by saying that no, he doesn't approve of that defense strategy for his trial. Then he commands his Riddlerbots to attack. And the Riddlerbots attack.

  
  

  -Catwoman makes short work of them, but then Riddler asks Catwoman if she remembers this trick: it's another rolling cylinder of sharp bladey death that she has to dodge! She dodges it. "Catwoman, I can't see! Are you dead?" "Nope." "ARGH! I mean, that's an outrageous bail price!"
• KilgoreTrout

  2016-09-02 14:28:03 edited 2016-09-02 14:36:41

  -Now more robots attack, many more, and as they do laser beams start firing down from the ceiling. Riddler then goes into gloaty mode, telling Catwoman that he will defeat her from prison! Won't that be humiliating? Then he says that he will use some of his newly acquired prison slang to command the robots: shank her, robots! (None of these robots have knives.)

  
  

  -Oh, I had seen people complaining about the last fight in this DLC and now I think I see what had them so frustrated: The floor is composed of many squares, and the outer rows of squares become electrified as Catwoman's fighting the robots. If she sets foot on them, she takes damage. That makes things much more tricky than usual.

  
  

  -Wow, it's not just the outer row of squares; as the fight goes on, the safe space for Catwoman to walk becomes smaller and smaller. I saw one person post on Steam that the trick was finishing the fight fast, and I guess that's what I should aim to do.

  
  

  -MOTHERFUCK!!! Yes, this is EXTREMELY hard.

  
  

  -HOLY FUCK I  FINALLY DID IT! Just a sliver of health left but I did it! If anybody else tries this in the future, on the successful attempt I had I pretty much abandoned countering and dodging to just ping-pong from robot to robot without really worrying if any of them successfully hit me; countering takes time, and time's something I don't have. Anyway, the last stupid robot's down and that had better damn well be the end of the fight because I'm almost out of non-electrified floor...

  
  

  -Yes, it's over, the whole floor's safe to walk on again and Catwoman is free to take what she came for.

  
  

  -Riddler says this: "Riddlerbots? RIDDLERBOTS?! I... I deny all knowledge of 'Riddlerbots', my legally-versed friend. Hello again, Officer Cash — my, you're on a remarkably efficient patrol route this evening!"

  
  

  -Catwoman goes to open the door, and observes out loud that it's locked. Riddler taunts her that it's also encrypted, so good luck! Then the computer says "Voice print accepted. Welcome, The Riddler." Catwoman thanks the Riddler as the door opens, and Riddler lets out a Big No before trying to cover by acting like he was saying "no" to a plea bargain.

  
  

  -Selina gets to the computer and asks Riddler if he'll really need 2.73 million dollars in jail when he gets his meals for free. And the factory with the robots aren't of any use to him either; I mean, what's he gonna do, use them for some elaborate prison break? As Catwoman transfers all of his money into her account Riddler begs her not to, and I actually do feel sorry for him despite that incredibly frustrating fight he put me through. She sets the factory to self-destruct and says byebye as Riddler freaks out and Cash tells him his time's up. He protests, demanding to be unhanded and unhooked (remember that Cash has a hook in place of the hand that Killer Croc tore off), and then says something really, really dumb: "Oh, a taser? You think a taser frightens me? I am the Riddler and I--" Moral of the story: tasers should frighten you.

  
  

  -Well, that was a fun DLC. I'm not gonna call it bad because of how ungodly difficult the robot fight was, although I don't think I'll be playing that particular one over and over. For $2.19 Canadian I'd say it was worth the price, and it's cool to play as Catwoman some more.

  
  

  -That's that! I believe I will do the Red Hood one next.

  
  

  EDIT TO ADD: Actually, the combat challenge map that comes with it is fun and I think I will play THAT over and over after all; it recreates that robot battle, but it takes away the electrified floor and replaces the robots with regular mooks. That makes things much easier. The laser beams are still there, but even with those it's more fun-difficult than tear-your-hair-out difficult.