Seeing as the cottage is now mostly empty, you walk out and start heading towards the tower in the distance.
However, you haven't traveled for long before you come across a great chasm. You look down and see it is so deep that you can see tiny little stars down below. Wait, that doesn't make sense...
You look back over at the tower, and see that it is not far off. The chasm, however, is so wide that it extends almost all the way to the tower. There is a tiny stretch of land between the tower and the chasm, reaching around it in a crude circle... Wait, that can't be right. That would mean it's floating. And that's not possible, right?
You look back down into the chasm, and slowly one of the "stars" floats up to you. Up close, you can see it is not a star at all, but is in fact actually a large glowing number one.
You are standing at the edge of the world. What do you do?
You can't climb the tower. If you tried to reach it, you would fall off the edge of the earth. You make a note to sing that if and when you finally do reach it, though.
You attempt to grab the one. The second you make contact, the one sends a huge electric shock into your hand and darts away. You definitely won't be doing that again anytime soon. Certainly not to build a raft out of them.
You feel something vibrating in your bag of holding.
There isn't a cinema in sight, and you didn't even know it had a vibrate function. However, as your hand closes upon the vibrating object, you lift it out of the bag and see that it is, in fact, the old-fashioned telephone you stole from the cottage.
You lift the receiver up to your ear and say, "Hello?"
"Claude Rudy, this is Adventure. Can you hear me?"
Looks like the static is mostly cleared up. That's strange, you didn't even walk too far. Maybe the phone service god decided to have mercy on you?
Anyway, the voice sounds neither male nor female, neither young nor old. You do not know anyone named Adventure.
The Mysterious Ballerina and her Tree Stump Ghosts
"Ah, Adventure. Is this about the adventure you mentioned earlier Adventure? Also, got any good advice for crossing huge chasms filled with glowing numbers?"
"You've never met me," lies Adventure. "And I am the adventure I mentioned earlier. I was introducing myself."
"As for your current situation, as I said earlier, I am trying to help you out as best as I can, but I'm finding it hard to reach you. And that isn't a chasm, it's... Nevermind, explaining it would take too long. Just try to find a way to get out of there now, preferably without dying."
Replace the reciever? With what? Anyway, you tell Adventure "Hold on, I gotta deal with this weird puzzle shit," and then hang up, before stuffing the phone back into your bag.
You look down into the "chasm". Sure looks like it would be the quickest way out of here. You really don't see what all the fuss is about. You shrug indifferently, before stepping off the edge of the world.
You are now falling an indeterminate distance at an indeterminate speed. You look up and see the tiny little landmasses you were exploring before slowly fade into the distance. Once again, you find yourself alone in this blank space, with nothing but the numbers to keep you company.
Count the numbers...? There's only ones and zeroes, and they don't seem to be in any particular order... Wait. Wait, no, they seem to be lining up in front of you. An order of numbers you vaguely recognise...
You're fairly certain this number order is different from the one you saw before, but you still can't make any sense of it so you don't even bother trying.
You ponder about the laws of gravity. How come you're falling now but weren't before? Maybe this empty numbered area has, like, layers to it? You have no idea.
Anyway, you make sure to turn your body so, when you eventually hit the ground, you'll die.
You pull the phone out of your bag of holding and look at the dial thingy. Except it's not really a dial thing, it's one of those circles with the numbers on them, where you have to turn it to each number for whoever you want to call. You really hate these old-fashioned telephones.
You also don't know Adventure's number. So try dialing a random string of ten ones and zeroes.
Adventure answers on the first ring. "Hello, this is Adventure speaking. To whom may I owe this call?"
"It's me, Claude," you say. "Listen, Adventure. I did exactly what you told me to and walked off the edge of the earth. Now I'm falling through the ether with no end in sight. Also when I inevitably land it will be headfirst, so, uh, any advice on how to deal with that?"
"Well first off, turn yourself so that you don't die upon landing. Second off, why would you walk off the edge of the earth? Now it's gonna be even harder for us to find you. Well, I did tell you to get out of there...
"Okay, I guess I should explain a few things. You're in the World Between the Worlds. That world you just jumped off of? It was a dead world. Those two little crumbs were all that was left after the Darkness swallowed it.
"I'm not really supposed to be telling you all this this early on, but then again, you weren't really supposed to be in that world in the first place. Tell me, what do you remember happening before you landed there?"
Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
"I remember being a huge red bird. My mouth swallowed everything, except priests. I had talons that rended the sky. No god could bring me down. I knew every line of the sutras by heart."
You immediately assume the most embarrassingly gratifying position possible for your landing, then tell Adventure about your life as a roc.
"Right, uh... Yeah, that doesn't sound like anything you'd.... be. So I'm just gonna assume you have amnesia or something.
"Anyway you should be finding your way to another world soon. Odds are it'll probably be another dead one, so watch out." With that, the line goes dead.
You suddenly feel yourself slowing down. The numbers are gathering around you quickly, forming the next landscape. You descend to the ground, but by now you've slowed down enough to have a soft landing.
As you look up to observe your new surroundings, you notice that you are in front of a large building, and there are now many people around to see the very, very gratifying position you're in. You, however, ignore them and look up to more closely observe the building in front of you.
You quickly realise you are in the most horrible world ever known to man.
Engraved on the front wall of the building are the words "TOWNSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL"
Actually, it seems your clothing has changed to accommodate this world. You are now wearing jeans, a tshirt, and some sneakers. The reason people are looking is probably because you're still in the embarrassing pose in which you landed.
On, and you also still have a panty on your head. You take that off, and get into a less gratifying position as well.
You can't seem to find any barrels nearby, but you're sure there must be one somewhere...
You may have been born yesterday, but you should at least know that eating people is probably not the best option. Not to mention, that video is absolutely ridiculous and I can't believe I watched it all the way to the end. During class, no less!
Anyway, you search the town for a barrel. Looking around you, you see the school, with a (relatively) empty lot across the street, and a pair of roads leading elsewhere. Where do you wish to start your search?
Hey, you can't command the narrator! You're not the boss of him! How dare you break the fourth wall like that? Don't answer that question, it was rhetorical. Just get back in character.
"Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer!" you sing. "You take one down, pass it around, you got nine hundred ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!
"Nine hundred ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred ninety-eight bottles of beer!" you continue, as you stop and pilfer through the garbage cans in search of barrels. "You take one down, pass it around, you got nine hundred ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall!
"Nine hundred ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred ninety-seven bottles of beer!" you smile politely at the passers-by, all of whom are now giving you even stranger looks. "You take one down, pass it around, you got nine hundred ninety-six bottles of..."
You suddenly stop short as, for a few fleeting seconds, the world transforms back into numbers. It doesn't last long, and in fact you're not entirely sure you didn't imagine it.
Clearly, it is because you have absolutely no idea what bawdy means. The simplest, most obvious choice would have been to look it up in the dictionary, but as you no doubt know by now, you don't always tend to make the easier or obvious decisions. Oh and also you don't have a dictionary on you. And also the narrator didn't feel like looking it up at the time.
"HEY, DID ANYBODY ELSE SEE THAT?!" you scream. People give you more weird looks, and a few of them mutter things under their breaths, but nobody dignifies you with a response.
Comments
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead