General Religion, Mythology, and occult talk

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  • edited 2012-08-26 18:15:28
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    Wanting to kill a squeaky-voiced cartoon character does not make you a terrorist

    it makes you a normal human being
  • edited 2012-08-26 18:34:48
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    So, instead of this:

    image

    We'd have this:

    imageimage


  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Justice42 said:

    I WARNED YOU 

    ABOUT ETYMOLOGY 

    BRO!!!!!


    I TOLD YOU DOG!
    I know I'm late to the party, but this is now my motto.
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    I wonder why the Egyptian gods are more primal, with their animal appearances, than the contemporary Sumerian gods.



    ... well that didn't help at all, lady.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    How each culture viewed nature was probably important: For the Egyptians, the regular flooding of the Nile was vital to agriculture; between the Tigris and Euphrates, flooding was far less regular and more destructive. One viewed the power of nature as something to be revered, the other something to be feared. There's also the nature of the Sumerian bureaucracy, which was even more complex and intrenched than the Egyptian one, at least early on. To view the celestial hierarchy as human would seem natural to a Sumerian. By contrast, a very early Egyptian—before Menes, perhaps, in the ages of the warring kingdoms—would be far more likely to see the gods as something more abstract, of the earth yet beyond it, as living rivers or great beasts. Human power was too impermanent. As this changed, so did the appearance of the gods: Horus went from a hawk to a hawk-headed man and so forth.

    This is all speculation, of course. But it fits pretty well.
  • I thought the Menes hypothesis had been discarded by now. Isn't Narmer the more likely candidate for first king of The Egypts?
  • edited 2012-09-09 15:02:29
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Sredni: Interesting thoughts.

    Lazuli: We know of Narmer's tomb, and a mace head and makeup palette associated with him are the first artifacts showing both the white and red crowns, worn in a military context. However, all the textual sources (which he have for as early as Dynasty 5, on the Palermo Stone) feature Menes. This may just mean that  the two were the same man's birth name (formally "son of Ra" in later titulary) and Horus name.
  • edited 2012-09-09 17:58:17
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Furthermore, these early royal names are kind of hilarious. The hieroglyphs for nar-mer are literally "catfish" and "chisel", interpreted as "violent catfish." mene is a game board, so we have his majesty "board game." Even earlier, the best-attested king of Upper Egypt is ka, "arms", who may have succeeded "scorpion".

    Edit: I find it charming, because what we seem to be seeing here is some of
    the earliest use of pictograms to express abstracts. Artifacts with
    "King Arms" written on them have been found from Palestine in the north
    almost to the rival capital of Nekhen ("Hawk City", Hierakonpolis) in
    the south, suggesting it means "armed force." "Catfish Chisel" is
    probably best read as "Catfish the empire carver", while "Board-game" is suggestive of "strategist."



    Read this way, it's suggestive that Scorpion's only known image is a man
    in the white crown of Upper Egypt hoeing, albeit on a mace head.
    Perhaps only his successors were expansionists.
  • King Scorpion could also be perhaps interpreted to be venomous (figuratively).

    Perhaps he was not very pleasant.

  • edited 2012-09-09 18:16:44
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    True! A man named "scorpion" on a mace head could totally mean "venomous." Conversely, "arms" could have been "handicrafts", a merchant king whose people's vessels were spread by trade. Nar-mer could be the more benevolent "catfish the builder", with mene another name he took to symbolize his unification wars.
  • Indeed. Old Egyptian is a strange language.

    Also one of the sounds is represented in contemporary notation by the number 3, which I find amusing.

  • we should have a history thread yes we should.
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    So, given the thread name, let's get back to the gods.

    The Turin papyrus (from the reign of Ramesses the Great) lists the first rulers like so:

    Ptah (who "conceives the world by the thought of his heart and gives life through the power of his Word.")
    Atum-Ra (Sun)
    His son Shu, husband of his daughter Tefnut (humanoid god of air and lioness goddess of water vapor)
    Their son Geb, husband of their daughter Nut (the earth and the sky dome, who were constantly in the coital embrace and had to be pushed apart by Shu/air so beings could live on the earth)
    Their son Osiris, obviously the first to rule Egypt as such. He married his sister Isis.
    Jealous brother Seth (the eldest male god depicted as an animal, other than Ra when he's a falcon or falcon-headed) buried him alive in the Nile before he could produce an heir, but Isis found him, and after a fetch quest because Seth showed up and chopped him into 14 pieces, conceived a son.
    Horus then grew up to defeat Uncle Seth and take the crown.
    His successor was Thoth, either his own son by Hathor the cow goddess, or Ra's by her.
    His successor was Maat (truth/order/law/justice personified as a woman), daughter of Ra. Some accounts make her Thoth's wife.
    Then Horus was king again for some reason.

    He was followed, logically enough, by Shemsu Hor, "followers of Horus." This section also lists "Venerables of the North" and "Kings from Thinis" (i.e. the ones who wore the white crown and were buried at Abydos).
  • edited 2012-09-29 13:36:11
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    This almost looked like it had something to a point to it in the first few paragraphs, then quickly ran itself into the ground.

    My word, do these people actually research any of this stuff? It's like there's a bunch of dudes just handing out religious pamphlets, and that's where all these people's religious knowledge comes from.
    So, given the thread name, let's get back to the gods.

    You're doing fine...at least, I was intrigued. 

    Osiris, obviously the first to rule Egypt as such. He married his sister Isis.
    Jealous brother Seth (the eldest male god depicted as an animal, other than Ra when he's a falcon or falcon-headed) buried him alive in the Nile before he could produce an heir, but Isis found him, and after a fetch quest because Seth showed up and chopped him into 14 pieces, conceived a son.
    Horus then grew up to defeat Uncle Seth and take the crown.

    You left out the best part!

    Isis and her sister Nephthys went looking for these pieces, but could only find thirteen of the fourteen. Fish had swallowed the last piece, his phallus, so Isis made him a new one with magic, putting his body back together after which they conceived Horus. 


    That's right, Isis had to give her hubby/brother a magic penis because a fish ate his last one. After which, they tested it out and Isis gave birth to Hawk-Man.

    I love mythology.
  • edited 2012-09-29 13:35:00
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Pouble Dost!
  • Gilda said:

    So, given the thread name, let's get back to the gods.

    The Turin papyrus (from the reign of Ramesses the Great) lists the first rulers like so:

    Ptah (who "conceives the world by the thought of his heart and gives life through the power of his Word.")
    Atum-Ra (Sun)
    His son Shu, husband of his daughter Tefnut (humanoid god of air and lioness goddess of water vapor)
    Their son Geb, husband of their daughter Nut (the earth and the sky dome, who were constantly in the coital embrace and had to be pushed apart by Shu/air so beings could live on the earth)
    Their son Osiris, obviously the first to rule Egypt as such. He married his sister Isis.
    Jealous brother Seth (the eldest male god depicted as an animal, other than Ra when he's a falcon or falcon-headed) buried him alive in the Nile before he could produce an heir, but Isis found him, and after a fetch quest because Seth showed up and chopped him into 14 pieces, conceived a son.
    Horus then grew up to defeat Uncle Seth and take the crown.
    His successor was Thoth, either his own son by Hathor the cow goddess, or Ra's by her.
    His successor was Maat (truth/order/law/justice personified as a woman), daughter of Ra. Some accounts make her Thoth's wife.
    Then Horus was king again for some reason.

    He was followed, logically enough, by Shemsu Hor, "followers of Horus." This section also lists "Venerables of the North" and "Kings from Thinis" (i.e. the ones who wore the white crown and were buried at Abydos).

     
    I showed my grandmother this post some time ago* (she is a neopagan/Wiccan thing and draws from a number of old religions) and she claims "Atum-Ra" should be "Atem-Re".

    I don't know how true that is but, y'know, just thought you should know.

    I'm also not sure why I didn't post that at the time, oh well

    edit: I'm a durr

    *technically she just sort of looked over my shoulder, but whatever.

  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    If I had a neopagan/wiccan grandmother, I'd tell her the dog out back is dead and there's some weird man-looking root dug out of the ground

    the worst grandson, it is me
  • edited 2012-09-29 20:17:14
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    If I recall correctly, Egyptian hieroglyphics doesn't give much information in the way of vowels, so that may be true. I don't know enough about the subject to say for sure.

    For what it's worth, I do know there's a Carmen Sandiego game that uses "Amun-Re."
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Justice42 said:


    That's right, Isis had to give her hubby/brother a magic penis because a fish ate his last one. After which, they tested it out and Isis gave birth to Hawk-Man.

    I love mythology.
    The last thing Seth saw?

    image
  • image

    Kierkegaard had sweet hair.
  • Among religions in Greece, the largest denomination is the Greek Orthodox Church and Christianity, which represents the majority of the population[3] and which is constitutionally recognised as the "prevailing religion" of Greece (making it one of the few European countries with a state religion). Other major religions include Catholicism, Hellenic Neopaganism, Protestantism and Islam.
  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    With Lilith, no. Her one scant mention at Isaiah 34:14 has been one of the major casualties of the procession from the Septuagint to the KJV. Even so, she pretty much falls under the Hebraic "Extended Universe" so most Christians don't bother with that or any of the other side-stories involving Adam and Eve and Noah (of which are covered very well in Louis Ginzberg's book Legends of the Bible.)
  • edited 2012-09-30 15:35:54
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    Frosty said:

    Hm. There is a "canon" and "extended universe" of the Bible. This is interesting. :D Are the Apocrypha extended universe too?

    Depends on if you're talking to a Catholic/Coptic/Orthodox or a protestant

    For us protestants, haha no

    Pfft Bel and the Dragon
  • Don't forget the Ethiopians. They have every story.
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    My favorite legends of the Bible are those dealing with King Solomon's super powers.
  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.

    Don't forget the Ethiopians. They have every story.

    Coptic
  • edited 2012-10-07 23:50:48
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Speaking of Biblical canon that's not canon depending on who you ask, I'm reading Judith.


    Man, if there is one cat in the Bible you did not want to fuck with, it was Nebakanezer.

    Nebakanezer: "Ah, Holofernes, how goes recruitment for the war on Arphaxad? I assume
    each nation sent their finest soldiers to aid us in our cause?"

    Holofernes: "Actually, they all told you to fuck off."

    Nebakanezer: "ALL of them? Even Anti-Lebanon?"

     Holofernes: "Anti-Lebanon sent this along..."

    image

    Nebakanezer:“Wow…they actually drew that…Well, I guess you know what this means.”

    Holofernes:“Cancel the war on Arphaxad?”

    Nebakanezer:“That sounded suspiciously not like “declare war on everyone in the world.”

    Holofernes:“Sorry sire, I have no idea what I was thinking, I’ll get on the brutal campaign of “Us vs Everyone else” right away.

    Nebakanezer:“You do that”


    Arphaxad:“Dum de dum dum…Oh Look! It’s the armies of Nebakanezer, you know he really should have gotten the support of other countries before deciding…” *SPEARED THROUGH THE TORSO* “Dang” *LIKE HALF A DOZEN TIMES* “Double Dang” *dead*.


    Nebakanezer:“Well that was fun, time to celebrate…”

    Holofernes:“Sire, you have been celebrating.”

    Nebakanezer:“Oh, well time flies when you’re celebrating the death of your enemies.”

    Holofernes:“You’ve been drinking for about a third of a year straight.”

    Nebakanezer:“Oh my! Well, you best get started on the next war! Here, kill everyone on this list.”

    Holofernes:“This is an atlas.”

    Nebakanezer:“Well, you better get started, then!”

    Holofernes:“Of course, sire…”


    Cities of Put and Lud:“THIS DOESN’T SEEM POSSIBLE!”*HISTORICALLY INACCURATE BEATDOWN!*


    Cilicia:“WHY ARE ALL OUR ORGANS SO STABABLE?!”


    Midianites:“WHY ARE ALL OUR TENTS SO FLAMMABLE AND ALL OUR SHEEPFOLDS PLUNDERABLE?!”


    Damascus:“Oh well, there goes all our wheat, I wonder how we’re going to feed our livestock…oh, well their goes that, too. guess we’ll just go live in our…oh, they despoiled our cities, well…Guess it’s off to the plains…GREAT! Devastated. Well at least we still have all our children…OH, MOTHER FUCKERS!”


    Entire Coastland:“Don’t RAZE me, bro! Don’t Raze me! Here just…just take all our stuff! We’ll even celebrate you showing up! We’re cool, dude.”

    Holofernes:“Wow! Treated like a conquering hero! Nice work guys! You guys really deserve to be left alone, but imma gonna raze you anyway.

    Entire Coastland:“OW! OW! OW! OW!”




    And that's just the first three chapters.

  • My dreams exceed my real life
    So I've been reading Celsus. It's interesting which critiques of Christianity he makes have remained popular and which have gone out of style. At the very least, I can't see Richard Dawkins arguing that Jesus's miracles weren't miracles, because he used sorcery.

    Also the source of my new sig.
  • edited 2012-10-12 01:25:29
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Actually, it's still part of Mandaean doctrine that Jesus was actually a malicious sorcerer who stole his ideas from John the Baptist (God's true messenger) in order to frame himself as the Messiah. So it still flies with... some people, I guess? It certainly did back then.

    In fact, as far as I can recall, a number of European tribes were converted to Christianity under the belief that Christ was simply a stronger god than the ones they already worshipped because of his "great acts of magic."
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    My Dictionary of Jewish Lore and Legend certainly has some...erm...unflattering things to say about Jesus...

    But I've yet to have anyone actually suggest Mary was an adulterer who slept with a roman solider, and the child from that union went on to steal magical secrets from Egypt only to be beat in an "wizard off" by some rabbis and hung from a cabbage stalk because he used magic to make all the other trees reject his body.
  • Justice42 said:Mary was an adulterer who slept with a roman solider, and the child from that union went on to steal magical secrets from Egypt only to be beat in an "wizard off" by some rabbis and hung from a cabbage stalk because he used magic to make all the other trees reject his body.

    That sounds
    AWESOME
  • edited 2012-10-12 02:36:18
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Ahhh, there we go.

    For all your Jewish, anti-Gospel needs.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    It's like the Ballad of Punk Rock Jesus.
  • The Ballad of Punk Rock Jesus would be an awesome album title.

    Just

    fuckin'

    saying.

  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    It would.
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Cabbages and King of Kings?
  • edited 2012-10-12 12:09:15
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Apparently Jesus seduces women in some of these, so "Punk Rock Jesus" might be apt.

    In the version I linked, Jesus and Judas Iscariot have a magical, flying, ineffable-name-of-God duel which only ends when Judas is forced to "defile" both of them so they both loose use of the name:

    Then the Sages selected a man named Judah Iskarioto and brought him to the Sanctuary where he learned the letters of the Ineffable Name as Yeshu had done.

    When Yeshu was summoned before the queen, this time there were present also the Sages and Judah Iskarioto. Yeshu said: "It is spoken of me, 'I will ascend into heaven.'" He lifted his arms like the wings of an eagle and he flew between heaven and earth, to the amazement of everyone.

    The elders asked Iskarioto to do likewise. He did, and flew toward heaven. Iskarioto attempted to force Yeshu down to earth but neither one of the two could prevail against the other for both had the use of the Ineffable Name. However, Iskarioto defiled Yeshu, so that they both lost their power and fell down to the earth, and in their condition of defilement the letters of the Ineffable Name escaped from them. Because of this deed of Judah they weep on the eve of the birth of Yeshu.

  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    (a) Persons were defiled by contact with carcasses of unclean animals (Leviticus 11:24); or with any carcass (Leviticus 17:15); by eating a carcass (Leviticus 22:8); by contact with issues from the body, one's own or another's, e.g. abnormal issues from the genitals, male or female (Leviticus 15:2, 25); menstruation (Leviticus 15:19); by contact with anyone thus unclean (Leviticus 15:24); copulation (Leviticus 15:16-18); uncleanness after childbirth (Leviticus 12:2-5); by contact with unclean persons (Leviticus 5:3), or unclean things (Leviticus 22:6), or with leprosy (especially defiling; Leviticus 13:14), or with the dead (Numbers 6:12), or with one unclean by such contact (Numbers 19:22), or by funeral rites (Leviticus 21:1); by contact with creeping things (Leviticus 22:5), or with unclean animals (Leviticus 11:26). 

    Judas figured out one of these he could do while flying and used it to defile them both... o_o;


    Though,I guess he could have magicked up a corpse and threw it at Jesus, or something...
  • This is supposed to be a derogatory version?


    This is like infinitely cooler than the bible.


    i mean, holy shiiit.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Well, Jesus isn't exactly a paragon of virtue in any of these, but I guess it's undeniably more "action packed".
  • When Yeshu was summoned before the queen, this time there were present also the Sages and Judah Iskarioto. Yeshu said: "It is spoken of me, 'I will ascend into heaven.'" He lifted his arms like the wings of an eagle and he flew between heaven and earth, to the amazement of everyone.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    "Iskarioto" is amusing to me. It's like...a Japanese attempt at saying "Iscariot". Maybe medieval Jews accidentally created Anime Jesus.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    image

    Iskarioto is the dude with the black hair.




    No...really...


    Judas (ジューダス Jūdasu?) is a manga by Suu Minazuki (水無月すう Minazuki Sū?). There are a total of five volumes in this series. The first was published in English by Tokyopop on October 10, 2006. The second volume of this series was released by Tokyopop on February 13, 2007. Judas is cursed for his sins to kill six hundred and sixty six (666) people to regain his humanity. However, he is forbidden human contact and has no corporeal body. In order to kill, he uses his slave, Eve, to kill for him. Every time Eve's blood is spilled, Judas comes out and forces Eve to "say his prayers", in other words, kill. However, despite being forced to commit such heinous acts, Eve is also forced to dress like a girl. Judas had mistaken him for girl when they had first met, and he has forced Eve to dress like a girl. Sometime along the course of their strange relationship, they meet a professor, who joins them.

    Uhhhh...I think there's a little too much fetish material here.

    I might just have to stick with Manga Bible.

    imageimageimage
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Well MY Jew doesn't believe Christ was an evil flying sorcerer...
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