Bear Cult

Hi reader! Do YOU want to join a bear cult?

That's right, today, for the low low price of No Money, you can join a real cult about real, actual bears. [DISCLIAMER: we mean da animals and not the gay kind. We support your quest for love, though.]

Here are some FEATURES you'll get if YOU join BEAR CULT:

  • touch their fuzzy little ears
  • boop their cute little snoot
  • feel their soft little paws
  • WORSHIP THE RAW, PURE POWER OF THE BROWN ONES IN ITS UNDILUTED FORM
BEAR CULT is a real and legitimate religion, not like fraud scam religions (Scientology, other cults, Leontodism, Purple Mana in Magic The Gathering, Christianity) and you WILL feel the power upon joimin BEAR CULT. Disclaimer; if you cjhoose to call the bear by their true powerful name we do not claim respoinsibility, culpability, or blameability for anything that might hhappen.

JOIN BEAR CULT TODAY

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Comments

  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Post-apocalyptic teenagers with no idea where they're going HATE this one furry trick!!!!!
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Here, have my credit card number, expiration date, and all three numbers on the back!!!
  • Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I am already in the Cow Cult but I support my bearish neighbors
  • edited 2023-05-14 20:02:48
    Oh, the nsotalgia of good times.
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